Stevens Bowl XV Preview

I am starting this post on Wednesday morning. I waited a day because I couldn't figure out how to kick things off, but the most dramatic stat correction in FALAFEL history changed all that. The only remotely similar feeling in sports is when a game-winning score is under review for some obscure rule. If we all knew that ESPN fucked up, that would be one thing, but a muffed punt between two below-average teams on Christmas Eve was not being talked about at all. Billy went from the People's Champ to an all-time horror story, Esco went from an over-achieving also ran to a potential Chef's Hat, and Bennett went from a punchline to the favorite for a Chef's Coat. Fantasy is weird, man.

Before we get to the usual preview, it's time for the usual song and dance:

MEJIA! ESCO! BENNETT! It's The Stevens Bowl XV!
(They have added an AI component that I can't really understand, but that's one step closer to Barnard being in one of these)

Now it's on to the usual Dr. Z breakdown:

Stevens Bowl XV: BMO vs. Esco

Quarterback
We're starting with one that looks easy on the surface. Josh Allen could play his way into a wide open MVP conversation if he leads the Bills to a comeback division title. That requires a win this week at home against the Pats. Unless we get another Wind Bowl, Josh has a floor of 20 (he's only been below 4 times this year, twice since Week 6), and he put up 24 in New England a couple months back. 

Esco's QB situation, on the other hand, has been a comedy/tragedy all year. He drafted Tua, with Kyler as an upside backup once Tua inevitably got concussed. My Adult Son shockingly has stayed healthy and productive, but a weirdly significant trade with Marco left Esco with a banged up and maddeningly inconsistent Trevor Lawrence. Tough decisions at QBs are the worst, because it can be a 10+ point mistake, and can lead you to seriously consider starting Tommy DeVito with your season on the line. The upside here is that both Kyler and Lawrence have good matchups this week. Right now it seems like Lawrence legitimately might not play, but even if he does, I like Kyler against Philly's porous pass defense (adding insult to injury for Bennett). Either way, I don't like the matchups enough to go against Josh.
Edge: BMO

Runningbacks
Some health concerns for Mostert and Jacobs make this one a little bit blurry at the moment. That would probably benefit BMO, as if Jacobs can't go, Zamir can be plugged right in. If Mostert isn't 100%, McD might just put him on a pitch count and give touches to Achane or El Jeffe. Assuming the top guys are healthy, this is close. Mostert could easily have 20 yards and 3 TDs, but the matchups are heavily in favor of Bennett.
Edge: BMO

Wide Receivers
The Ravens pass defense is no slouch, but it's very possible that Reek outscores every other WR on these two teams combined (assuming Waddle is out). Nice that Demarcus Robinson might get to make his Stevens Bowl debut though.
Big Edge: BMO

Tight End
Lots of mediocrity here, so this one comes down to touchdowns. Whoever Esco benches will definitely score, but not sure about the starters.
Edge: Even

Flex
If Esco wants a Chef Hat, it will come down to Gus. Miami's run defense has been firmly above average all year, but I assume they will sell out to stop Lamar, leaving some room for the Gus Bus. If he can deliver a 25+ point game like he did against AZ earlier in the year, the overall matchup will be tight. I can't see Belichick letting Gabe Davis go off AGAIN, so this position is an easy call.
Big Edge: Esco

D/ST
Esco didn't even think he was going to make the playoffs, let alone the Stevens Bowl, so he was ill-prepared for the D/ST hoarding that takes place every year around the holidays. Nothing wrong with the Steel Curtain with an average-ish matchup against Seattle, but I would take all three of BMO's defenses over Pitt. Now watch TJ Watt outscore Josh Allen.
Edge: BMO

Overall
On paper, this looks like a blowout. Bennett has a pretty clear edge at almost every position, along with better matchups and a better health situation. But Esco has looked like the team of destiny since Mostert sunk my dreams in Week 14. Will I have to decide how to handle a multiple Chef Coat situation? Or will the average height of Chef Hats increase significantly? And is this all just an elaborate JuJu ruse? We'll find out on NYE.
Pick: Mejia

I plan on doing a couple lookbacks in the coming weeks, but the blog could just as easily be left alone until Draft Location Madness in three months.

Week 14 Playoff Picture

One week from the playoffs! Rivalry Week II! A playoff picture shakeup! Lots of big stuff this week, so let's jump right in.

If the season ended today, the playoffs would be:

1. Ajay - BYE - Best Regular Season Record, Alan Division Champ
2. Marco - BYE - Bennett Division Champ
3. Billy - Wild Card 1
4. Zacherman - Levine Division Champ
5. Bennett - Wild Card 2
6. Kumpf - NiJo Spot

Things are finally a little different here. Ajay has clinched everything possible, Zacherman falls out of the bye for the first time since he draft Mahomes and Kelce, and I enter the playoff picture for the first time since I drafted Akers and Pierce.

Everyone has something to play for this week, even if it's just the second Rivalry Week prize or weekly high score. But for some teams this week just means more, so I'll run through those teams.

Ajay - Clinched Best Regular Season Record, Alan Division Championship, and bye. Boring.

Marco - Clinched playoffs. Should clinch Bennett Division Championship and a bye with a win vs. Gutman. If Marco wins AND Billy (46) OR Zacherman (50) wins and makes up points, Marco could fall out of the bye. If Marco loses, he could fall all the way to 5th if Billy and Z make up points AND Bennett wins.

Billy - Clinched playoffs. Similar position to Marco in that he could end up anywhere from 2nd (bye) to 5th, with an outside shot at falling to NiJo spot. Billy can clinch the division and a bye with a win against Bennett, Marco losing to Gutman AND Z either losing to AGD OR Z beating AGD and not outscoring Billy by 4. Billy would fall to the NiJo spot with a loss to Bennett, Zacherman beating AGD OR losing and outscoring Billy by 4, AND Kumpf beating Barnard AND outscoring Billy by 51. 

Zacherman - Clinched playoffs. Essentially the same situation as Billy but with 4 less points scored so far. Can finish anywhere from the second bye to NiJo spot.

Bennett - Clinched playoffs. Even with a loss, Bennett has scored 123 more points than the 7th highest scoring team, so the NiJo spot is the absolute worst he can finish. In terms of upside, he still has an outside shot at the bye. Bennett would need to beat Billy, have Marco lose to Gutman while not outscoring Bennett by 24, AND have Z lose to AGD. Not impossible, but not likely.

Now for the fun part. The NiJo spot is still pretty wide open, with Billy, Z and Bennett potentially getting involved in a surprising race depending on how things break.

Kumpf - Can clinch the playoffs as the 5 seed with a win against Barnard AND Billy beating Bennett. That's surprisingly feasible though the JT injury hurts. If I lose to Barnard OR Bennett beats Billy, then it comes down to the NiJo spot, where I have a 1.5 point lead over Esco. That means it's essentially me vs. Esco even though we're not playing each other. I don't remember having this situation before but it's a fun byproduct of the NiJo rule.

Esco - Can only make the playoffs via NiJo rule. Would need to outscore me by 1.5 regardless of the outcome of either of our matchups. He also just lost Lawrence and Kirk, and Kyler is on bye. Saquon is back at least?

And that's it. I will manually set the seeds after MNF next week, and all eliminated teams will have their rosters "frozen" in that I will manually undo any moves that are made starting Week 15 unless that team is still alive.

Wait... is that Nick and Alan's music???

I had mentally written off everyone else, but we still have two other teams very much alive for the NiJo spot.

Nick - After a massive Week 13, Nick re-established himself as a playoff contender and is now only 17 points behind me and Esco. Conner on a bye puts a lot of pressure on Aaron Jones getting healthy, but Nick has had two weeks in the 140s so far this year. Another one would more than likely put him in the playoffs.

Alan - As always, you can never write Alan off. He held serve against me this week which was all he needed to do to make up ground on Esco, and he now sits only 30 points back of us. His team is both healthy and not on byes, with some decent matchups as well. He has not had as many boom weeks as Nick, but his consistency makes him a threat to crash the playoff party and single handedly keep the embroidered chef attire industry in business.

Technically Gutman is alive too, but making up 71 points on me and passing three other teams isn't going to happen.

My official prediction for the playoff field:

1. Ajay

2. Marco

3. Zacherman

4. Bennett

5. Billy

6. Alan

Week 13 Playoff Picture

Esco did a thorough summary of where things stood last week, so I'll keep it rolling without the same level of detail.

If the playoffs started today...

1. Ajay (Bye) - Alan Division Champion, Best Regular Season Record
2. Zacherman (Bye) - Levine Division Champion
3. Billy - Bennett Division Champion
4. Bennett - Wild Card 1
5. Marco - Wild Card 2
6. Esco - NiJo Spot

Nothing really changed above in the last week, but there are a few specific spots that will be hotly contested over the next 10 days.

Best Regular Season Record
Ajay can clinch with one win OR one loss each from Z and Billy over the next two weeks. This one seems like a wrap.

Byes

Related, Ajay clinches a bye with one win OR one loss from EITHER Z OR Billy over the next two weeks. Not a lot of drama there.

The second bye will be extremely interesting. Z and Billy are the leaders in the clubhouse, but they trail both Bennett and Marco in total points by at least 40 points, so the door is open for a tight race for the always important bye. Without looking it up at all, Alan is the only non-bye team to win a Stevens Bowl in the last 8 years.

Wild Cards

The top 5 seeds are very likely to stay the same in some order, as they have at least a one game lead on the rest of the league, and they're also the top five scoring teams for tiebreak purposes. Esco and I are hanging around, and I get to feast on a bye-depleted Gutman team this week before facing a heinously mismanaged Barndogs in Rivalry Week 2, so 8-6 is somehow on the table for me. I would have to make up over 75 points to win a tiebreak with the non-Ajay top 5, so I would likely need either Bennett or Marco to lose out. Esco has a massive matchup with Marco this week, but if he survives that, his Rivalry Week 2 with a spoiler-happy Weissbard team could be a play-in game for Esco.

NiJo Spot

Esco is up 37 on me, 64 on Alan, and everyone else is at least 82 points back which eliminates them in my book. If one of the top 5 loses out and falls to this spot, they have an even bigger lead on the rest of the pack. So Gutman/Nick/Levine/AGD/Barnard/Weissbard, if I'm breaking the news to you, I'm sorry that you haven't been paying attention. Good luck going for weekly high score and Rivalry Week prizes.

The Funniest Outcome

There is somehow a snowball's chance in hell that Barnard qualifies for the playoffs by record. It would require the following results:

Week 13

Barnard beats AGD (improving Barnard to 7-6)

Kumpf beats Gutman (eliminating Gutman officially)

Weissbard beats Bennett (dropping Bennett to 7-6)

Marco beats Esco (eliminating Esco from qualifying based on record)

Week 14

Barnard beats Kumpf (improving Barnard to 8-6 and eliminating Kumpf from qualifying based on record)

Billy beats Bennett (dropping Bennett to 7-7)

Gutman technically has about the same chance to qualify via record with basically the same results, but that's not as funny. There's another version where Marco drops out instead of Bennett, but the tiebreaks get messier and also not as funny.

Regardless, the Ajay vs. Z and Esco vs. Marco matchups this week have massive reverberations across the bracket. The Alan vs. Nick matchup...not so much.

Trade Grade 16

Ajay receives Amon-Ra St. Brown
Nick receives James Conner and DK Metcalf

I have absolutely no data to back this up, but anecdotally it feels like DK has been the most traded player in league history. Weissbard, do your job as League Historian and look that up.

I'm sure a few of us in the league could sense Ajay getting desperate. Best record and a bye are clearly in play, but he somehow has more RBs than he can start, and has some big questions at WR. Holding on to his RB surplus was clearly an option, especially given the injury prone-ness of his guys specifically, but if he could upgrade at WR, a trade was probably the better option. For Nick, losing Aaron Jones meant the possibility of starting Jerick McKinnon, and while that would be an upgrade for Barnard and I, Nick decided that a more balanced lineup was worth sacrificing some of his WR upside. His receiving corps is still solid (though Chase obviously is downgraded now), but both teams seem better off than they were before the trade.

In terms of value, I think Ajay made out better, but I'm also assuming Conner either gets hurt or has more of a time share. If Conner plays the rest of the season and returns to his 2021 TD Monster ways, then it swings in Nick's direction.

Ajay Grade: A-
Nick Grade: B

That potentially concludes what was a busy trading season. Again, nothing to back this up, but of the 32 trade participants this season, I would bet that Ajay/Barnard/Marco/Weissbard make up more than half. That's 80% of FALAFEL Gamblers. Why won't anyone trade with me?

Playoff Picture 3 Weeks Out

(Editor's Note: This guest blog was submitted by Esco)

With the trade deadline fast approaching, let's take a look at who is still in the playoff picture 3 weeks out.

Playoff Locks

1. Ajay (9-2), 73 Pts behind most scored, 22 Pts ahead of NiJo Rule

A stunning 9 game win streak puts Ajay in control of his own destiny for regular season championship. The final three games are not easy though with games again Alan and Nick fighting for their playoff lives and a huge Week 13 matchup with Z. Has only topped 100 points 5 times so has had a lot of luck with matchups but a win is a win is a win and the Ajay Ajays keep rolling so far.

2. Zacherman (8-3) 44 Pts behind most scored, 51 pts ahead of NiJo Rule

After making some trades for the future, Z has lost 3 out of the last four and finds himself in danger of losing the playoff bye if he doesn't rally the troops. Fortunately, outside of the Week 13 matchup with Ajay, he's got some bottom feeders in Barnard and AGD. Regardless of the outcome of the Ajay/Z matchup, if he can go 2-1 in the final 3 games he likely holds onto the bye

3. Marco (7-4) 1st in Points Scored, 96 Pts ahead of NiJo Rule

Probably the most dominant team over the back half of the season. Has scored below 100 only twice, Week 1 and a 84.94 to 84.04 brutal loss to Ajay. Marco faces 3 potential playoffs teams (BMO, Esco, Gutman) but will certainly be favored in every matchup. Winning out likely gets him the bye due to the head to head matchup of the top 2 seeds in Week 13 and might even get him a regular season championship due to his points scored. Easily the most dangerous team to face the rest of the way

Likely In

4. Lutz (7-4) 81 Pts Behind Most Scored, 14 Pts ahead of NiJo Rule

It used to be that having a baby mid-season was a guaranteed lock for the Stevens Bowl. Now with babies being born left and right, that barely guarantees a playoff berth. Next time try a chronic disease if you really want to improve your playoff chances Billy.

However, the schedule is very friendly to the new Lutz family, with Levine, Nick and BMO outstanding. 2 wins are likely and potentially winning out is on the table. I don't think it gets Billy to a playoff bye but he should be comfortable that even if he forgets to set his lineup once or twice in the post-baby chaos, he should be fine for the playoffs.

5. BMO (6-5) 24 pts behind most scored, 72 Pts ahead of NiJo Rule

While the wins haven't always come for BMO, the scoring was hot and heavy early in the season to give them a cushion regardless of outcome for the last few weeks. Matchups with Marco and Billy are not ideal to end the season but if they can pull off a 2-1 record they likely move up in the seeds. Unfortunately 1-2 is more likely so they probably stay in the bottom half of the playoff bracket pending a true collapse.

On the Cusp

Esco (6-5) 96 pts behind most scored, NiJo Rule Spot

My team has bounced around the 6th seed the entire season and I likely have one more move to make to truly become a playoff contender. Will trading Ridley back to his rightful home on the Barndogs give me the karma I need to make the playoffs? Two critical matchups with Kumpf and Marco will likely decide my fate even before rivalry week against Weissbard. The Cowboys play the Commanders on Thanksgiving so that could put me in a huge hole going into the weekend, but if I maintain the points lead so it will be an interesting few weeks.

Kumpf (5-6) 58 Pts behind NiJo Rule

There has been no real consistency with Kumpf's team which isn't surprising when your team is essentially a single NFL team. He has a manageable schedule (Esco, Gutman, Barnard) but points will be more crucial than wins and the Cowboys schedule (Commanders, Seahawks, Eagles) isn't quite as friendly as it could be. As I mentioned just above, this week likely puts either me or Kumpf in the driver's seat for the 6 seed so let's check back in after Thanksgiving.

Hanging by a Thread: 3 teams are within 90 pts of Nijo Rule and also only 1 game out of playoff contention. A few high scoring weeks or winning out might get any of them in, but they all will need help to reach the playoffs

Alan (5-6) 76 Pts behind NiJo Rule

The championship hangover strikes again... Alan put up a dominant week to knock off Z but now faces the new #1 seed Ajay in a must win game. The final games (Nijo, Levine) are winnable but he needs to not only win but really run up the score to ensure himself a chance at a 4th Stevens Bowl win.

Nick (5-6) 85 pts behind NiJo Rule

As usual, Nick's team has faced unusually bad luck (3 loses by under 3 points) and has generally looked competitive all year. Unfortunately, the scheduling gods (aka the League Lobster AI chatbot) have dealt him a difficult hand to close out the year. Billy, Alan, Ajay is a very difficult stretch to win out so he needs to significantly outscore Esco, Kumpf and Alan over a 3 week timeframe which is no easy feat.

Gutman (5-6) 86 pts behind NiJo Rule

A disgusting loss to the Barndogs likely ends Gutman's shot at the playoffs unless he gets incredibly lucky these next few weeks. The schedule (AGD, Kumpf, Marco) has one head to head against a fellow playoff hopeful which might help if he wins out but I don't see a lot of scenarios where we are looking at a playoff contending team unless Gutman makes a few big trades to end the year.

Barndogs 

Barnard (5-6) 174 pts behind NiJo Rule

Barnard always seems to operate in his own universe and this year is no different. While only one game out of playoff contention, he is so far out of the points scored race that he basically needs to win out and hope the 5 teams ahead of him do not surpass 7 wins. Lol. I'm sure there is some parlay angle here that would pay out 30,000 to 1 if you could combine Ridley TD's with Barnard playoff success. He's got Zacherman, AGD, Kumpf the rest of the way so he could play a fun spoiler role if he actually could predict his highest scoring lineup but it's more likely we see another week where Barnard's bench outscores his starters than a playoff run for the Barndogs

Likely Out

I'm sure there is some scenario where AGD or Weissbard win out or Levine averages 175 points a week that would get them in but in nearly all scenarios I think these teams are sadly out of contention for additional Steven's Bowl victories. Better luck in 2024 boys

Trade Grade 15

Trade 15
Barnard receives Calvin Ridley and David Njoku
Esco receives Tyler Boyd and Dalton Schultz

I mean...wow. I thought nothing could beat Barnard's draft, where his lack of RBs led to him bidding on three different Dallas backup RBs, then trading for Zeke and Michael Thomas. But this Boyd/Ridley thing is truly unheard of.  (Not directly related, but I also just saw that Barnard bid $11, 37% of his remaining budget, for Jordan Love, unopposed, dropping his one handcuff. Just great work all around.)

For the trade itself, the question is: is Ridley a bigger upgrade over Boyd than Schultz is over Njewku? Honestly, I don't really care. Ridley was WR3-4 for Esco and Boyd is somehow WR2 for Barnard, so Esco gave up a bench player for a slight TE upgrade, while Barnard upgraded WR2 for a slight TE downgrade. This is not a clear win for either team, but I guess I give Barnard the edge there? 

However, I can't just ignore the last three months that led us to this point. Part of the reason I was so down on Boyd was his brutal schedule. Well, he got one of those games out of the way last night, and while losing Burrow will tank his value, that definitely hurts Barnard more than it does Boyd. Esco said that the funniest thing that could happen would be Ridley having a huge game this week, then getting hurt for the rest of the season. I disagree. The funniest thing would clearly be Ridley having a huge game this week, then it coming out that he bet the over on Boyd's receiving yards last night, parlayed with Burrow for MVP, and he gets suspended forever.

Barnard Grade: B-
Esco Grade: B-

Trade Grade 14

 And here...we...go!

Trade 14
Esco receives Trevor Lawrence, Gus Edwards, and Calvin Ridley
Marco receives Tua Tagovailoa, Antonio Gibson, and Brandin Cooks

My initial reaction when I saw this trade go through: Our first ever Real Mock Trade! I'm a genius!

My immediate follow-up reaction: Those fuckers! Now I have to give good grades or risk being a hypocrite. It's not lost on me that this exchange may have taken place:

Marco: It's about time Kumpf made a blog post. He's unemployed, what else could he be doing? 

Esco: Yeah, Kumpf is a weird guy. Always thinks he knows how to run everyone's team better than they do, he's not a genius. He has one Chef Coat in 13 years!

Marco: Yeah....Anyway, what do you think about the mock trade Kumpf gave us?

Esco: Ehhh...It doesn't move the needle for me a ton, but it's not bad.

Marco: Yeah but if we go through with it, Kumpf will have no choice but to give us both good grades.

Esco: Good point, that's worth it on its own. Kumpf loves giving unnecessarily bad trade grades. Except to Barnard, those are deserved.

Marco: Yeah fuck Barnard.

For the trade itself, Marco's team is officially complete, and bordering on juggernaut status. Which means he will barely miss a bye, and lose in the first round to the NiJo team, which will very likely be Esco. Tua does have a rough stretch coming up, but Marco is thinking about Weeks 15-17, not Weeks 11-14.

Fake Esco was correct above, this doesn't move the needle a ton for him. It makes him less Dolphin-dependent, something I've been aiming for since 2000, and gives him some improved flex options. He also has a crazy Jaguars stack that could be big in juicy matchups against Cincy, Houston, and Tennessee.

All in all, this is obviously a win-win and more teams would be better off blindly listening to me. 

Esco Grade: A
Marco Grade: A 

Week 11 Power Rankings/Trade Deadline Preview

It's been awhile since I made a full blog post. It's been so long...(HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?) It's been so long that Marco of all people has written a guest blog. He wasn't even in the league when this blog was Donny's and was run out of a Google Listserve! Sure there have been the odd trade grades here and there, but the people are clamoring for the real thing. And the real thing they will get.

Let's start with some old school, extremely subjective  scientific Power Rankings with a focus on trade possibilities, and follow that up with a playoff picture check-in and the usual mock trades. (Editor's Note: I started writing this on Tuesday, before Marco and Ajay preyed on Barnard/Gutman/Weissbard, so the analysis as it relates to those moves will be more lacking than usual.)

Week 11 Power Rankings

1. Marco
Roster Strength: Flex. Some teams have difficult and often disgusting decisions for their flex due to lack of depth, others have obvious choices due to no options at RB3 or WR3. Marco has a difficult choice because he runs four deep at both RB and WR. That depth is almost unheard of in this league. Another strength may be that he has Barnard on speed dial if he needs to make any last minute trades.

Roster Weakness: Quarterback. It's honestly shocking that the flurry of trades this week didn't yield an upgrade at QB for Marco. Yes, Sam Howell is leading the league in passing yards. And he's currently QB5 in fantasy, ahead of guys like Mahomes, Tua, and Trevor Lawrence. But he hasn't had his bye yet, and after feasting on the G-Men this week, he has a murderer's row of defenses to end the season. Lawrence (RIP Watson) provides some insurance, but pairing a WR with one of them to get a more reliable QB would truly make Marco the team to beat.

2. Zacherman
Roster Strength: Tight End. Having a strength at a onesie position (QB, TE, DST) is very useful for  encouraging trades, as you are either unable to start multiple players (QB, DST), or it is rarely ideal (TE). For Zacherman, Kincaid has been a weekly flex option with Knox hurt, and with that injury timetable unclear, standing pat is certainly an option. But as you will see below, using Kincaid (or Kelce! or Freiermuth!) to fortify an otherwise lacking bench may be a better use of your situation
Roster Weakness: Depth. Z has had absurd luck in the health department this year. The only injuries he's dealt with were voluntarily added during the draft (Breece) or via trade (JJ/Air Freier). That is unlikely to last for any team, let alone one relying on Keenan Allen to an absurd degree. Zacherman's trades and waiver additions have been solid at worst, but getting another viable WR, or upgrading at RB3 would help cushion the lack of playoff luck that has plagued Z in the past.

3. Ajay
Roster Strength: Handcuffs. Earlier this season, Ajay was in rough shape at RB. That is no longer the case due to trades (Conner, Kyren) and luck (Rachaad White suddenly remembering how to play football). To mitigate his previous issues, Ajay acquired and held onto multiple handcuffs. He has his own cuffs for Etienne and Conner, but he still has Zamir White, who is more valuable to the Jacobs owner than anyone else. Yes, I'm reaching here, but Ajay's team is just solid without a ton of excess.
Roster Weakness: FAAB. Part of the reason he has no excess is that Ajay spent literally all of his FAAB before the end of October. The $66 for Henderson led to him acquiring Higgins, but Latavius Murray and Craig Reynolds for $99 has aged incredibly poorly. As mentioned, his team is solid now, so this is not a huge concern, but I would be scared going into the playoffs with no backup to Herbert and trying to stream defenses without being able to bid even $1. 

4. Bennett
Roster Strength: Starters. When healthy, this team can compete with anyone. Solid RBs, a league winner in Tyreek, and no real holes outside of maybe defense depending on the matchup. I would have thought Bennett had the most consistently high floor in the league, but I would have been wrong, as he as failed to clear 90 points five times so far. Getting Goedert back will make a big difference, and Keaton Mitchell could haunt Esco for years, so I would not want to face this team in the playoffs.
Roster Weakness: Depth. The obvious counterpoint. If any of his preferred starters go down, Bennett is stuck relying on the likes of Jamaal Williams, Rondale Moore, and Tyler Conklin. Not ideal for a Stevens Bowl contender.

5. Billy
Roster Strength: Runningback. Not much to say here, but hitting on all three of his big RBs means Billy is back in title contention for the first time in years. Currently, CMC/Ekeler/JT are averaging a combined 50.6 points per game. I'd bite your arm off for that kind of RB production.
Roster Weakness: Quarterback. Billy always goes big at RB, and usually tries to get by with streaming at the other positions. This year he has a high enough floor at WR, along with a legitimate weekly starter at TE in Kmet. He even has Ekeler's handcuff, which is not always the case. But going into the playoffs with Baker Mayfield and Will Levis at QB is not going to lead to a Chef's Hat. For reference, when Billy won Stevens Bowl III, he had Drew Brees at QB (Arian Foster and Reggie Bush were his big RBs, and he also had the Jets version of LDT, and Jeremy Shockey! Memories!). To be a real contender, Billy may need to flip an RB for a joint upgrade at QB and WR.

This concludes what I would consider the real contenders as currently situated. Teams that are extremely likely to make the playoffs, and can do damage once they're in. If this league has taught me anything though, it's that the Stevens Bowl is a fickle beast. So the next group of teams could obviously still win. Nothing epitomizes that more than...

6. Alan
Roster Strength: Depth. What record would a team of Brock Purdy/Chuba Hubbard/Devin Singletary/George Pickens/Jahan Dotson/Tyler Higbee have? Would Barnard swap teams with that? Because those are all backups for Alan at QB/RB/WR/TE. Very impressive, and very typical of Alan to hang around .500 for most of the year, and turn into Playoff Alan come December. If I was him, I would package Purdy and an RB for an upgrade somewhere, but who am I to give advice to the Apron Wearer?
Roster Weakness: High-End RB Talent. I don't love Joe Mixon as RB1 for a title team. I really don't love a combo of James Cook/Chuba/Singletary as RB2 for a title team. As mentioned, turning Purdy and one of Cook/Chuba/Singletary into someone on par with Mixon (Javonte? Saquon? Mostert?) would bump Alan up a couple of spots.

7. AGD
Roster Strength: Wide Receiver. AGD is one of the more straightforward teams in this exercise. After their questionable trade with Nick, they have too many startable WRs. Depth is one thing, but watching one of Puka or Amari (not to mention Elijah Moore, D.J. Chark, and Rob Woods, who would be flex options for some teams) toil on your bench while you trot out Kareem Hunt or A.J. Dillon at RB2 has to be painful.
Roster Weakness: Runningback. See above. Deebo and Kareem for a better RB?

8. Levine
Roster Strength: Depth. Shocker, I know. It may actually be a shock to see a 2-8 team this high on the list, but I mean look at that roster! No one likes to root for Russ, and the reliance on Vikings RBs is unfortunate, but his bench is even better than Alan's. The NiJo spot is realistically Levine's only path to the playoffs, but he's only 75 points back right now (albeit with four teams to pass). A notoriously unwilling trader, Levine needs to shit or get off the pot (sorry Alan) in the next few days.
Roster Weakness: Enjoyment. The major downside of drafting for value at all costs is that you often end up hating your team. I've been there the last few years, and sometimes those seasons can lead to a Chef's Coat, but other times they can lead to starting 5 Cowboys multiple times. No one really knows where Levine's head is at, but if he's not going to make a big play for the NiJo spot, at least trade for some Dolphins. I'm sure that Tua, Waddle, and Mostert are gettable.

9. Nick
Roster Strength: Tight End. This is one of the most Nick seasons ever. He has lost three games by less than three points, has a roster of players he doesn't like (aside from Stroud), yet is still alive for the playoffs so he has to keep caring. Adam Schefter reports that Nick is fine rolling out Jonnu at TE after the bye, so LaPorta becomes one of the best players on the trade block in the league.
Roster Weakness: Upside. Nick's starters have a high floor, and his bench isn't bad. But outside of a Week 3 explosion that was fueled by a player no longer on the team (Deebo) and unsustainable production (Bills D, McKinnon), he hasn't shown the capability to compete with the big dogs. 

10. Esco
Roster Strength: Team Composition. This might be another way of saying Depth, but I'm impressed in what Esco has put together. Two startable QBs in the right matchup? Check. Handcuffs to both his starting RBs? Check. Upside at WR to make up for a lack of high end talent? Check.  He currently has a 33 point lead in the NiJo race, that I am going to bet that he maintains. A brutal division (great drafting Bennett!) means that may be his only path to the playoffs, but he's the 6-seed I would want to avoid if I was a top team.
Roster Weakness: Tight End. Perceptive readers will notice the one position I did not mention above. Njoku is fine, and it remains to be seen how he performs with DTR the rest of the season, but that would be a position I would try to upgrade.

This concludes the teams that have a solid shot at the playoffs. The teams below have a combined four Stevens Bowls, and also Barnard, but this has not been our year.

11. Gutman
Roster Strength: Flex. I'm not going to say straight up Depth, because that's not entirely true, but when healthy, Gut's Flex options are Rhamondre/Drake/Shaheed/Musgrave, with the hilarious potential of Fat Lenny playing a role. Not stellar, but prettay prettay good.
Roster Weakness: Quarterback. It's the time of year for Hallmark movies, and Gut must have a soft spot for long shots. Geno was America's sweetheart last year, and Dobbs is poised to fill that role this year if Minny goes on a run. Starting either one of them means you are not a serious contender.

12. Kumpf
Roster Strength: Quarterback. I could have easily said "Cowboys" and left it at that, but I don't see people lining up for a shot at Uncle Rico Dowdle. Dak has been a revelation lately, and Goff is an upgrade for a few teams, so if someone will finally trade with me, I would guess that one of those two is involved. 
Roster Weakness: Runningback. See Dowdle, Uncle Rico.

13. Weissbard
Roster Strength: Low-End Depth. I look at Weissbard's roster and I see a middle of the pack team. Some of that has to due with guys like Fields and the newly-acquired Achane coming back from injury, but this does not appear to be a bad team in the way that our bottom dwellers usually are. Then I see that he's scored 48 points less than BARNARD, and I can't rank Weiss higher than this. His bench is full of guys that could be useful to contenders though.
Roster Weakness: Talent? I used the word "useful" above as it relates to Weissbard's bench. It unfortunately also applies to his starters, where the vast majority of his players would not be an upgrade for the top tier teams. That makes it tough to make trades, but I respect the way Weiss has powered through.

14. Barnard
Roster Strength: D/ST. The Browns defense has been incredible and also exciting. Good job, good effort.
Roster Weakness: Roster Management. It takes a real dedication to not having a Chef's Coat to turn Justin Jefferson, Tee Higgins, Calvin Ridley, Pat Freiermuth, Mike Williams, and D.J. Chark into Darrell Henderson Jr., D.J. Moore, Tyler Boyd, Dalton Schultz, Jerry Jeudy, Zeke, and Michael Thomas. 

Playoff Picture

If the playoffs started today, we would have:
1 (BYE) . Zacherman - Levine Division Champ, Best Regular Season Record
2 (BYE). Ajay - Alan Division Champ
3. Billy - Bennett Division Champ
4. Marco - Wild Card 1
5. Bennett - Wild Card 2
6. Esco - NiJo Spot

By record, Esco, Kumpf and Gutman are one game out, and Nick, Alan, AGD, and Barnard are two games out. For the NiJo race, Esco is ahead of Kumpf (33 points), Gutman (49 points), Nick (66 points), Levine (76 points), Alan (88 points), and AGD (96 points). Weissbard is the odd man out here, 3 games back by record and 190 points out of the NiJo spot.

2023 Mock Trades

Given all the analysis above, I'm going to leave these trades here without any commentary.

Mock Trade 1
Esco receives Trevor Lawrence, Gus Edwards, and Calvin Ridley
Marco receives Tua Tagovailoa, Antonio Gibson, and Brandin Cooks

Mock Trade 2
Weissbard receives Quentin Johnston and Dalton Kincaid
Zacherman receives Chris Godwin and Rashee Rice

Mock Trade 3
Ajay receives Emari Demercado and Amon-Ra St. Brown
Nick receives Rachaad White and DK Metcalf

Mock Trade 4
AGD receives Josh Jacobs and Jamaal Williams
Bennett receives Derrick Henry and Amari Cooper

Mock Trade 5
Billy receives Jared Goff, Tony Pollard, and Rico Dowdle
Kumpf receives Baker Mayfield, Austin Ekeler, and Joshua Kelley

Mock Trade 6
Alan receives Geno Smith, Jahmyr Gibbs, and Stefon Diggs
Gutman receives Jalen Hurts, James Cook, and George Pickens

Mock Trade 7
Levine receives Joe Burrow, Tyjae Spears, Darrell Henderson Jr., and Michael Thomas
Barnard receives Russell Wilson, Alexander Mattison, Ty Chandler, and Mike Evans

See you in the playoffs for the usual matchup breakdowns.

Trade Grades 10-13

I have another post coming later this week, but I want to get these Trade Grades out of the way as they are materially relevant to the theme of the other post. The theme of this post is Marco and Ajay making a serious play for a Chef Coat/Apron at the expense of three teams that won't be making the playoffs.

Trade 10
Barnard receives Tyler Boyd
Marco receives Calvin Ridley

Just a fantastic example of how to destroy value by Barnard. Ridley hasn't lived up to expectations after a huge Week 1, but he's still a nice flex option with some nice matchups down the stretch. He also has some rough matchups coming up, and unlike Barnard, Marco has the depth to not be forced to start Ridley. A clear upgrade and an obvious decision for Marco.

Boyd has admittedly performed better than I previously assumed over the last month, but a lot of that has been due to other injuries to Cincy receivers. Higgins is still banged up, so Barnard gets a pretty direct replacement, but if/when Higgins returns, he basically turned a flex option into nothing. Yes, Barnard likely needs to win out for a chance at the playoffs, but Cincy plays Baltimore and Pittsburgh the next two weeks, which are unlikely to be high-scoring affairs. If Barnard was looking for a direct swap of Ridley for another WR, guys like George Pickens, Rashee Rice, or even Zay Flowers (if he was determined to trade with Marco) would have been better value.

Barnard Grade: D+
Marco Grade: A

Trade 11
Gutman receives Zay Flowers
Marco receives Zach Charbonnet

Before looking at the individual players at all, Marco traded a newly expendable WR4 for the handcuff to his oft-injured RB2 (and potentially the guy overtaking his RB2). That on its own is good business. At the same time, Gutman took an RB4 who he wouldn't start in the next few weeks barring injury, and turned him into a weekly Flex option (and regrettable WR2 this week). That's a win-win trade.

Looking at the individual players, I'd much rather have Charb due to the aforementioned issues with KW3, but these teams both improved with this move.

Gutman Grade: B+
Marco Grade: A-

Trade 12
Marco receives Bijan Robinson and Tank Dell
Weissbard receives De'Von Achane and Garrett Wilson

The upset of the year is Weissbard not getting fleeced for Bijan after offering him to the other 13 teams, plus Bruno and Chris Long. This also probably goes down as our biggest trade of the season in terms of the names involved (Tank Dell!), and I will always be a fan of that. HOWEVER, I don't really like this trade for either team. Weissbard realistically needs to win out to have a shot at the playoffs, and the NiJo spot is well out of reach given that he's 50 points below the second lowest scoring team. Bijan isn't flashy, but he's theoretically a guaranteed 10 points with 20-point upside as long as Arthur Smith stops being a dick. Marco, on the other hand, has designs on a Chef's Coat. He needs league winners, and I'm not sure anyone has that upside more than Achane. 

These are our two most trade-happy teams, but I think they both did themselves a disservice this time.

Marco Grade: C-
Weissbard Grade: C+

For a quick summary, Marco's flex options went from:
RB: De'Von Achane/Kenneth Walker III/Brian Robinson Jr./Gus Edwards
WR: A.J. Brown/Garrett Wilson/Adam Thielen/Zay Flowers/Tyler Boyd

to

RB: Bijan Robinson/Kenneth Walker III/Brian Robinson Jr/Gus Edwards/Zach Charbonnet
WR: A.J. Brown/Adam Thielen/Tank Dell/Calvin Ridley

I think I prefer the top roster? It's very close though, and may not have been worth the effort, even if trading is fun.

Both Achane and Beej could be league winners I guess, but the Falcons have thus far refused to cook with mustard. Fins have a brutal schedule so it's nice to get away from that, and getting Charb is a plus, but the most obvious upgrade in my mind is going from Boyd to Ridley. I doubt that a WR4 upgrade changes all that much, but it's probably the biggest impact Barnard will have on the Stevens Bowl race.

Trade 13
Ajay receives Tee Higgins and Chargers D/ST
Barnard receives Darrell Henderson Jr., Tyjae Spears, and Browns D/ST

Oh cool, another Barnard trade.

With the return of Conner and the emergence of Rachaad White, Ajay suddenly had too many RBs. He solves that problem here and gives a buffer in case JJ's return takes away from Addison (or Josh Dobbs remembers that he's Josh Dobbs). Higgins is hurt now, and the Bengals' next few weeks are brutal, but Ajay has a three-game lead in the division and is thinking about the playoffs.

For Barnard, I guess it's trying to stop the bleeding? His continued obsession with making short-sighted moves has left him with Zack Moss, Zeke, Michael Thomas, and Taysom on bye. For most teams, that would be a slight inconvenience, if that. For Barnard, it's a four-alarm fire that caused him to trade Ridley for Boyd (partly so he had Higgins insurance), then promptly trade Higgins for a member of the ever-changing Rams RB committee, and a defense? Can't argue with the Browns D actually, that was solid and will likely hurt Ajay given his $0 of auction money. 

I would run through the same roster exercise for Barnard that I did for Marco, but that would be a waste of everyone's time. But I do want to make sure that everyone sees that Barnard essentially paid too much for car insurance, then sold his car but is stuck paying the insurance. Good thing he's not in the insurance industry.

Ajay Grade: B+
Barnard Grade: C+

Actual blog post coming in the next two days, unless you fuckers keep making trades.

Trade Grade 9

 Before we get to this week's trade, we need a quick playoff preview!

If the season ended today, the playoffs would be:
1. Zacherman (BYE) - Levine Division Champion, Best Regular Season Record
2. Ajay (BYE) - Alan Division Champion
3. Billy - Bennett Division Champion
4. Bennett - Wild Card 1
5. Marco - Wild Card 2
6. Esco - NiJo Spot

Those teams are the top six in scoring, HOWEVER, things are far from locked up. Bennett and Marco are 5-4, as is Gutman, and we have FIVE teams art 4-5. A single win or loss can make a massive difference at this point. Esco currently has a 65 point lead in the NiJo spot, which is a relatively large gap at this point, so just winning games matters the most for teams not currently in the playoffs (ANALYSIS!). 

No teams are officially in the playoffs (though I can't picture Z missing out, recent slide aside), and no one is officially eliminated (though Levine, Weissbard, and AGD have a lot of ground to gain). The trade deadline is November 24th, so the next two weeks should make the playoff picture a lot more clear.

SEGUE!

Trade Grade 9
AGD Receives Deebo Samuel and Jamison Crowder
Nick Receives C.J. Stroud and Najee Harris

I honestly have no idea what's going on with AGD. I didn't love their draft, though Puka for $1 is one of the better picks in FALAFEL history, and almost every move after that has been a head scratcher. Their trade with Ajay aged decently well, but bidding $30 more than any other team for Stroud when they already have Lamar? Then trading Stroud for Deebo, who is not only always injured, but forces one of Kupp/Amari/Puka to the bench? I understand that wins are vital at this point, but I also have to assume that you could have made some sort of move for an RB, or a WR upgrade, as opposed to an additional WR that will create brutal lineup decisions. Nick clearly needed a QB, loves his Ohio State boys, and seemed desperate to unload one of his Lions. Not a fan of this move.

From Nick's side, well done. Stroud is not only a big upgrade at QB, but he's fun to watch and leaves you with Chase and ARSB at WR still. Flex is a glaring issue, but I'd rather roll the dice with your options there than at QB, let alone the trade that we were discussing.

AGD Grade: D+
Nick Grade: B

Trade Grade 8

Ajay Receives Keyontay Ingram
Esco Receives Jeff Wilson Jr.

Not loving these weekend trades for grading purposes, but as always the analysis is as of when the trade occurred.

This is about as small potatoes as a trade gets, though I feel like we do have a lot of these 2nd/3rd string RB swaps in our league due to the importance of handcuffs. With that in mind, the logic on both sides is clear. Ajay got a (theoretical) starting RB for one week, who is the second string handcuff to Conner when everyone is healthy. Esco got the handcuff to Mostert, who is already not even getting a full workload in Miami when Achane is healthy. No issue with what either side gave up, and I've already said too much about this move. Slight edge to Esco because Mostert has a (barely) more significant injury history than Conner, the Miami offense is better than Arizona's, and Wilson will get more touches than Ingram no matter who is healthy.

Ajay Grade: B-
Esco Grade: B

Trade Grade 7

Barnard receives Ezekiel Elliott, DJ Moore, and Michael Thomas
Zacherman receives Justice Hill, Justin Jefferson, and Pat Freiermuth

You can't fault Barnard for trying. The team he drafted was absurdly bad, and it only got worse with the Jefferson injury and pretty much every move Barnard made. But he keeps trying and we respect that.

This move I actually like on the surface for both teams. For Z, it's easy to understand. He downgrades at WR in the short term, while giving himself championship upside once JJ returns. He even got Justice Hill out of the deal, giving him some additional flex depth. With a two-game lead for the best record, this is the type of move that gets you a chef coat.

For Barnard, he basically gave up Hill (who was scarily his RB2) for three starters. This says a lot about the quality of his roster, but it's the type of move he needed to make to keep his hopes alive (or at least stay out of the shot spot). I have always loved DJM, and the inclusions of both Zeke and Thomas is undeniably hilarious, no notes. My biggest beef with the move for Barnard is that he definitely could have gotten more for JJ. Z made the most sense as a trading partner, but Bennett, Ajay, and obviously Marco would probably have made solid offers. Hell, I would have probably made a better offer and I'm only in a slightly better position than Barnard. From a value perspective, Barnard should get a low A, from an opportunity cost perspective, we're in the C- range that I know so well.

Barnard Grade: B-
Zacherman Grade: A

Trade Grades 5-6

When it rains it pours this season, with trades flying in all at once and somehow always involving Kyren Williams of all people. I wouldn't say that we've had a true blockbuster yet, but other than Z, Levine (shockingly), and Barnard (not shockingly), pretty much everyone is in a similar spot in the playoff race. A 3-game winning or losing streak should probably change that before we hit the trade deadline.

Trade 5
Gutman receives Jahmyr Gibbs and Pierre Strong Jr.
Marco receives Trevor Lawrence and De'Von Achane

We're just about at the point in the season where trade grades can focus on individual players instead of simply on team composition. The one massive exception to that rule this year is Achane. He's clearly a speed demon, but there are quite a few things working against him:
1. The Miami backfield is extremely crowded now that Jeff Wilson is back from injury. Given Wilson and Mostert's history, this health probably won't last long, but it still limits Achane's potential touches.
2. Miami's schedule has been incredibly easy so far, and gets incredibly difficult for the rest of the season. We saw how that played out in Philly on Sunday, and it also limits potential touches.
3. He's hurt! There are 7 more weeks in the fantasy regular season, and Achane will be playable in 4 of those weeks MAX. His specific injury doesn't seem like a huge risk for reoccurrence, but humans are not supposed to move as fast as he does, so I wouldn't be shocked to see him go down again.

Obviously there are other players in the deal, but Achane likely swings it in one direction or the other. Marco's team is deep enough that even if he just upgraded at QB, that's enough for it to be a solid trade for him, with Achane as a potential cherry on top. But it's not a home run.

For Gutman, he had no choice but to trade one of his QBs, and Achane probably made sense to ditch as well now that Ford went down. Picking up Strong was a nice benefit, and Gibbs should hold down the fort for a few weeks, so I see the logic here too. I can safely call this a win-win, with Achane looming as a league winner for Marco if everything breaks right.

Gutman Grade: B-
Marco Grade: B

Trade 6
Ajay receives Kyren Williams
Barnard receives Jerry Jeudy and Dalton Schultz

These two again? What a weird season these two teams have had, and the fact that Kyren has played such a big role is beyond bizarre. For this specific trade, it reeks of desperation (and potential comedy) on the Barnard side, while it sets Ajay's roster up for a playoff run.

Ajay's logic is easy to follow here. Schultz would never start over Hock, and Jeudy was expendable with Addison looking legit, so he didn't really give up much beyond WR depth. That should be easy enough to fill by flipping Spears, Wilson, or Latavius if needed. Mike Williams would make this team look a hell of a lot better, but cornering the Rams RB rotation is good business.

As usual, I don't really understand Barnard's logic unless he's going full comedy. Adding the two most Jewish sounding players in the league fits his team name and is a nice tribute to the situation in Israel, so if that was the goal, I rescind any criticism. If he's trying to make a playoff run, this is nonsensical. Jeudy is a poor man's Ridley, who is frustrating enough to own, and he is heavily rumored to get traded, which will limit his performance for at least a few weeks. And Schultz is the definition of a streaming TE, exemplified by the fact that I've added and dropped him multiple times (that goes for basically a third of the league, but still). Kyren being injured doesn't help Barnard's short term success, but he was scoring enough TDs that I have to imagine someone would have given up a legit starter for him. On top of all that, Ajay has Addison, making him a prime candidate for a Jefferson deal. I'm sure it was discussed, but that should have been a mandatory aspect of this trade. If Ajay wasn't in my division I would be reveling in this insanity, but because it negatively affects my miniscule playoff odds, I'm more disappointed that Barnard seems to have learned nothing in nearly 15 years.

Ajay Grade: A-
Barnard Grade: D-

Guest Blog - Marco

Editor's Note: Marco submitted this post, apparently worked with Weissbard, and I lightly edited. As always, anyone can submit a post.

Kevin ain't got a job and he's still making the browns do all his work. I would say Texas has changed him, but I guess he's always been like this. With that being said, what a predictable unpredictable start to the NFL and fantasy football season. I guess there's two things you can always count on though in the NFL and Falafel - the Commanders getting blown out at home and Barnard's team being an absolute JOKE... but I digress. 

I'll lead off by saying I don't have the data to support this and it's solely based on feeling, but it feels as though this has been one of the highest scoring starts to the season in Falafel history with 13 instances of teams scoring over 110 and over 4 instances of breaching the 120 mark all within three weeks.

There's a lot of interesting teams to discuss (and some not so interesting ones, lol Bernard) and a couple of potential juicy matchups so let's hop right into Korrupt Kommish Kevin's tried and true format of power rankings and matchup of the week. I'll exclude myself from these, but y'all know where I stand:

Editor's Note: Marco apparently thinks of himself as a perpetual underachiever whose glory days were nearly 20 years ago.

Writers note: I was going to do this for every team, but I honestly lost steam after Nijo. So for now I'm just going to include my predicted playoff teams. 

Week 4 Power Rankings:

The "Ins":

1) ZBALL:
Zball's earned it. After making us watch a Jets preseason game with Rodgers to see him promptly get shelved 4 plays into the season, he deserves some good news here. His team is stacked from QB all the way down to his defense with some long shots stashed as well. He's below average (in points scored) and comes first (in points against), but fantasy football is a game of luck as we all know. He's got some critical matches coming up against some perennial contenders (Levine, myself, Dan) (Editor: One of those things is not like the other) and some perennial pretenders (Bennett) and if he takes 2 out of the 4 I think he stacks up REALLY nicely for a first week bye in the playoffs.

2) Nijo:
Nijo comes in at second in the power rankings, sitting second in total points scored and a record of 2-1. He's had a light schedule so far with his opponents only amassing 3 total wins between them (with one of them being against himself) and has faced the 3rd fewest amount of points in the league but sometimes you just need things to fall your way. It's a little bit odd when you look at this team as he only has one player who's top ten in their respective positions, but somehow is managing a way to throw up high scoring weeks. I don't think he stays here but he's earned the nod for the week, if only so I can enjoy the fall from grace later in the year.

3) Dan

Dan sits 2-1 in the middle of a competitive division - while 3 out of the 5 members are 1-2 there is some quality riddled throughout the division with an always strong Levine team, and a Gutman team that IMO is ready to bust. Dan has three solid RBs, and is strong all around at every position. Amazingly, he has the third lowest scoring point total in the league but has grinded out a  2-1 record (when have we seen this happen before?????). He doesn't have anyone to me that looks as though they can take over a game, but Bijan has certainly shown flashes. Definite playoff contender. 

4) AJAY

Ajay has the benefit of sitting in a pretty weak division aside from Nijo. Third in points scored throughout 3 weeks is nothing to scoff at, however that comes along getting dunked on for almost 300 points through the same time period. Ajay looks mediocre across the board but Connor has proved to be a reliable starter with his other options at WR/RB all having the ability to blow up again and drop 25+. The good news is that Ajay has already played Levine and Dan, the bad news is he lost to both of them.  I see some good breaks coming his way and think he sneaks into the playoffs. 

5) Esco
Adam #1 settles in at #5 for the first power rankings of the year, you can't deny the league's top scorer sitting at a 2-1 record unfortunately. While I don't think you can continue to rely on three Dolphins players consistently, you've set yourself up nicely from an 0-1 start to take control of your playoff destiny. If Mostert keeps getting 6+ YPC and the goalline work, that $4 pick looks beautiful. Unfortunately the rest of your roster doesn't look like it benefited from the extra auction dollars but you do have a little bit of depth and if Saquon comes back healthy, you have the team for a good playoff push.

6) Gutman

Adam #3 settles in at #6 for the first power rankings of the year. Now hear me out, does Gutman have the least points scored in the league - yes. Is Gutman 1-2 in possibly the strongest division - yes. Did Gutman start the season 0-2 - yes (what are the stats on 0-2 starts making playoffs I know we have this somewhere). But when I look at his roster it is capable of putting up points with almost every player in the top 15  positionally this year in points scored. He's going to need an amazing streak of wins, and now that I'm looking at the division he's going to need to catch up quickly to Zball and Dan, but sometimes you just gotta believe. 

The "just missed":

7) Levine

8)Bennett

9)Alan

10)AGD

The "Never had a shots":

11) Lutz

12) Kevin

The "Bernards":

13) Bernard

FMOTW:

Zball vs Levine

Huge Matchup between Zball and Levine - Zball can all but cement his playoff spot with a win here going 4-0 and Levine's season could easily be sunk starting 1-3 (possibly his worst start to a season ever????? Does Levine even read this?????  Miss you buddy, fuck your laptop) Lets get right into the matchups:

QB Mahomes (ZBall) vs Wilson (Levine):

Not even worth discussing. Both have juicy matchups, but you gotta give the nod to Mahomes even though I LOVE all the Wilson memes:

Yuge Advantage: ZBALL

RBs Kamara, Breece (Zball) vs Williams, Mattison (Levine)

On paper looks like a landslide, Kamara and Breece I have at 14 and 11 due to Kamara rust and matchups (Jets gonna get smoked and throw all day), while i have Williams and Mattison at 6 and 12. To me it all really depends on the game script here for Williams - if the Broncos can keep it close and they feed him, I'm going to give a slight advantage here to Levine.

Slight Advantage: Levine

WRs  Allen, Moore (Zball) vs Olave, Evans (Levine)

Really close matchup here. I like Allen more than Evans this week but on the other hand i like Olave over Moore. I think it boils down to liking Allen only slightly more than Evans, but liking Olave A LOT more than moore. 

Advantage: Levine

TE Kelce vs Andrews:

Two of the league's premier tight ends going head to head. While there would normally be a huge advantage here against every other team, I think the advantage here is minimal. Going with taytays boo this week

Slight Advantage: Zball

Flex Thomas (Zball) vs Lockett (Levine)

Lockett could be most teams WR1 and I seem him absolutely getting volume and yards this week against the shitty Giants. Saints vs Buccs this week just looks like a grindy divisional game thats gonna suck, so I don't see Thomas gettin volume here with Olave getting most of the targets.

Advantage: Levine

Defense 49ers vs Saints

Defense is dumb advantage no one.

Marco's Pick of the week:

Levine to save his season here with a nailbiter. He'll be down 8 with MNF left and Lockett will secure his win, and breathe life into his season.

Thanks for the collab on this dan. couldn't have done it without you.

Trade Grades 2-4

 Love the early movement here, including some teams that rarely make moves. Trades at this point in the season are often overreactions unless they're in response to an injury or a clear draft debacle that leaves you starting Deuce Vaughn. Anyway, here are the grades.

Trade 2
Bennet receives Jamaal Williams and Gabe Davis
Weissbard receives Christian Watson and Tutu Atwell

Kind of a weird trade, in that Jamaal has now been ditched twice in two weeks, and both Jamaal and Tutu have their value almost entirely linked to Kamara and Kupp's respective availability. Regardless, Watson has the highest standalone value of any of these players, but he's hurt, so this trade is basically a big shrug. Weissbard has a better WR option in theory, and Bennett gets some much needed RB help, but I would be shocked if any of these players end up starting more than 4 times for the rest of the season.

Bennett Grade: B-
Weissbard Grade: B-

Trade 3
AGD receives Najee Harris and Amari Cooper
Ajay receives Justin Herbert and James Conner

This trade has a lot more substance, and makes a little bit more sense all around. AGD needs WR help desperately with Kupp's injury and JuJu surprisngly being WR5 on the Pats, and Cooper is a much better option than hopping on the Puka train. From an RB perspective, Conner to Harris is a downgrade for sure, but mainly because Harris is unlikely to be the starter in a few weeks, but Conner plays for a Cardinals team that is tanking. I don't love that you upgraded your WRs the week you play me, but it's a good trade for you.

Ajay's logic is a little bit more confusing. Dak and Goff are likely to be fine, though choosing between them weekly is not fun. You responded by...adding another QB to choose between? Herbert is a step above Dak and Goff, but bailing after one week is uncharacteristic of you. I was about to say that ditching Amari also left a massive hole at WR, but that was rectified as I was typing. On pure value, Conner is an upgrade over Najee, and either way it's your third RB so not massively important. Your grade will include the immediate follow-up, but I still don't love it.

AGD Grade: A-
Ajay Grade: C-

Trade 4
Ajay receives Mike Williams
Barnard receives Kyren Williams

Wowowowowow! I don't think we've EVER had this many trades before Week 2, but I love it. As a brief aside, after Mike Williams (Chargers) got a concussion in Week 1, I had a brief moment of panic when I saw that Mike Williams (Bucs) died a few days ago. That's mostly unrelated to this trade, but it's also not great that Ajay traded for a player that I plausibly believed to be dead.

Anyway! As mentioned, Ajay fills a gaping hole at WR2, that I'm assuming Barnard was not aware of when negotiating this trade. Well done by Ajay, getting rid of his RB4 (5?) for a starting WR. There are concussion issues for sure, and Big Mike is insanely frustrating to own, but Herbert to Williams could be fun. 

Barnard's team remains hilarious. He obviously needed to throw assets at his RB situation, but giving up $89 FAAB dollars and Mike Williams and only getting back Justice Hill and Kyren Williams? That can't be how he imagined this season going a month ago when he sat down to draft from the wedding. The fact that he appears to be accumulating the handcuffs to my RBs is funny, not just because of the spite factor, but also because my team is very bad and only won because the Giants are worse. Barnard's roster looks like someone who was wrecked with injuries and had to trade a top RB for scraps, but we're not even in Week 2 yet! As soon as Ajay's first trade went through, you should have cancelled your trade and tried to get Conner or Rachaad because Ajay would have been fucked. Just amazing team management.

Ajay Grade: B+
Barnard Grade: D

Trade Grade 1

Preseason trades are always tough to grade because we still don't know how any of these players are going to perform in 2023. So I'll be leaning heavily on roster construction, my personal draft values, as well as the actual auction prices paid.

Trade 1
Nick receives Dalvin Cook ($13)
Weissbard receives Tyler Allgeier ($4) and Jamaal Williams ($7)

The dollar amounts here are shockingly close based on the draft, and I have them about the same, which makes this seem like a win-win. Weiss gets an obvious Bijan handcuff, as well as a flex option and trade bait in Jamaal. Nick gets a startable RB for the first few weeks, but I don't really see the logic on his side. Since the trade went down, Jamaal's stock has only gone up, which doesn't officially factor into the grade, but was obviously a potential outcome here. The team most affected here might be Zacherman, who sees his Breece and Kamara handcuffs change hands. Historically Weissbard has been easier to trade with than Nick, and Jamaal fits the true handcuff mold better than Dalvin, so I'm happy if I'm Z.

Nick Grade: C+
Weissbard Grade: B+

Chicago Draft Recap

 This year's draft seemed to be a bit of an evolution. We didn't really hit up downtown Chicago, spent a lot of time at arcade bars, and tended to go to bed before midnight. There were some draft weekend staples, like Billy's wasted draft process and Marco needing medical attention, but there were also some notable absences, like Vanilla Ice and Barnard's runningbacks. There was also a lot of chatter about avoiding cities entirely in the future and just getting a baller AirBnB. While I love the idea in theory, the location will matter a lot in terms of travel, as a plane ride followed by an hour+ drive is not fun for anyone. Something to think about for next year's Draft Location Madness anyway.

As always, I will use Bill Simmons' my movie quote gimmick to assign draft grades. Home Alone is the obvious choice for Chicago, but I used that for our COVID draft, so we'll instead be using another John Hughes classic, Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Levine
Economics Teacher: Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

I usually have a tough time assigning a quote to Levine, but this year it was pretty easy. Didn't come to the draft, didn't say a word in the GroupMe or ESPN chat, and only allegedly drafted his division through Weissbard, who definitely could have been making it up. All told, a pretty standard Levine draft and draft weekend. I don't really like his team, but there is depth for sure and if the Broncos are good, he'll be a contender.
Best Pick: Javonte Williams for $21. This pick kind of slipped in without anyone noticing. Pierce, Akers, and Pacheco had just gone for $30+, and most teams didn't have a ton of money to spend, but anyone who needed an RB should be ashamed at this discount.
Worst Pick: Chris Olave for $35. No issues with Olave specifically, but this was the point in the draft where the teams saving their money needed to draft someone. Never a fun position to be in, and Olave ended up going for $10+ more than guys like Higgins, Devonta, and Nuk. Not the end of the world, but using that $10 to improve the RB or QB situation would probably have been better.
Grade: B-

Billy
Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

The most iconic line in the movie goes to the team with the most iconic draft strategy in the league. It also works because he was kicked out of the draft after nominating Eli Mitchell, and missing out on his most important handcuff. Without fail, Billy goes big on RBs early and tries to cobble together the rest of his roster late. This year had the added benefit of him being 5-7 drinks deep before the draft started, which led to an amazing TE2 pick with his last remaining budget.  Never change Billy.
Best Pick: Josh Kelley for $1. It's rare to see a handcuff go for $1 in this league, so grabbing yours on the cheap could pay off huge.
Worst Pick: Jakobi Meyers for $6. I know you needed a startable WR at this point, but after drafting Meyers...you still needed a startable WR.
Grade: D+. This grade considers Jonathan Taylor as 50/50 between being traded and missing 4 games, which is about where things stood when we drafted. 

Marco
Ferris: Oh, I'm sorry. I can't come to the door right now. I'm afraid that in my weakened condition, I could take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject myself to further school absences. You can reach my parents at their places of business. Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate your concern for my well-being. Have a nice day!

A couple good options for Marco this year. Unfortunately this scene doesn't really work for a text-based blog, but you get the picture. I speak for everyone in being glad that you're okay and hoping that everything checks out with the cardiologist. Having said all that, you have a pretty good team! I will definitely nitpick some decisions, but overall I can't see you missing the playoffs.
Best Pick: Brian Robinson Jr. for $9. Most teams have to pay a premium to get players on their favorite NFL team, and while no one really expects big things from the Commanders, getting BRob for $20 cheaper than Pierce, Akers, and Pacheco is a steal.
Worst Pick: Deshaun Watson for $11. Ethical dilemma's aside, Watson was hot garbage last year when he played. He legitimately can't be worse, but paying over $10 assumes he's a no-doubt weekly starter. Russ went for $1 and I would have expected similar for Watson.
Grade: B+

Kumpf
Ed Rooney: Les jeux sont faits. Translation: the game is up. Your ass is mine.

We've had spite waiver bids, spite trades, and even spite draft picks, but I think I am the first person to actually have a spite team. I had some targets going into the draft, with Pierce OR Akers at ~$20 on the list. Instead, I got into bidding wars with Barnard, won both players, and paid $62 for the right to start them both, tanking the rest of my roster in the process. Am I happy with my team? No. Am I happy that I caused Barnard's team? Yes.
Best Pick: Marvin Mims for $2. Honestly not a lot of value on my squad. I paid up for my starting lineup and was left with scraps. Denver's WR2 is not a bad scrap, but it's still a scrap.
Worst Pick: Cam Akers for $32. I would have been more than okay with Akers as my RB2, so having him as a flex is great. Leaving me with $16 to fill 9 roster spots, including my starting QB and TE? Not great.
Grade: D+

Alan
Cameron: I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to defend it. Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it.

Alan does seem determined to defend his title, getting involved with auctions early and often. He landed 5 of the first 48 players nominated (average would be ~3), and followed that up with two more double digit dollar picks before we even got to 100 players. Yes, two of them were quarterbacks, a questionable strategy. And yes, his RB depth isn't great. But this is Alan we're talking about. He will either win his fourth title and force me to find a new chef item to customize, or he'll finish 5-9.
Best Pick: Brandon Aiyuk for $8. When he's not injured, he's a no doubt WR2 that Alan gets the luxury of flexing. He's often injured, but still.
Worst Pick: Aaron Rodgers for $6. I don't have a huge problem with drafting two "startable" QBs. It does put a lot of pressure on you to trade one of them (something Alan doesn't typically like to do), but it can work out. What I don't like is bidding more than $5 on your second QB that early in the draft.
Grade: C+

Gutman
Girl on Bus: Gummi bear? It's been in my pocket; they're real warm and soft.

Gummy Gutman is as good, if not better, than drunk Gutman. Same laughs, same high pitched noises, improbably same bowel issues. Fun all around. As for his team, it's...fine? Definitely a playoff contender, potentially more than that, or less, which I guess is as good as you can hope coming out of our draft? Also, his team name is fun to say.

Best Pick: Drake London for $8. There was a decent chance that Gut would have been screwed at WR2. London doesn't fully alleviate that concern, but he's the only healthy pass catcher for an offense that may not throw the ball much, but plays in an easy division and will be trailing a lot.
Worst Pick: De'Von Achane for $3. I'm grasping at straws a little bit here because Gut didn't overspend wildly on anyone, but given his WR and TE situations, all of his extra dollars should have gone for depth there instead of a luxury pick like Achane, who is both injured and third string.
Grade: B-

AGD
Ferris: If you're not over here in fifteen minutes, you can find a new best friend.
Cameron: You've been saying that since the fifth grade.

This is how I imagine the conversation between Belfer and Reap went on Saturday morning. Belfer trying to move, Reap trying to make up for anniversaries past, yet they somehow ended up in the same room for the draft. Lucky for them, it was our fastest draft ever. Unlucky for them they have the most fucked up QB situation in the league and next to no depth.

Best Pick: James Conner for $21. Considering how absurd some of the RB prices ended up being, Conner is in the Javonte category of a surprising steal. The Cards will be really bad, but Conner should still be an every week starter, which has traditionally cost $30 or more.
Worst Pick: Justin Herbert for $17. On it's own, the price isn't terrible. I'm not a Herbert fan, but there are signs he could be a top QB this year. HOWEVER, spending $17 on your backup QB is roster malpractice. Sure, Lamar could get hurt. But wasting a roster spot, and ~$15 that could have been spent elsewhere is not worth having piece of mind. I personally will enjoy you two picking the wrong QB every week and bickering about it.
Grade: D+

Zacherman
Boy in Police Station: Drugs?
Jeannie: Thank you, no. I'm straight.
Boy in Police Station: I meant, are you in here for drugs?
Jeannie: Why are you here?
Boy in Police Station: Drugs.

Charlie Sheen's cameo goes to Z for obvious reasons, but also because there was no Slap Cup quote. Don't think I've ever seen that much life in Zacherman's eyes before to be honest. It led to a...questionable team name, but also to an extremely solid team. The Mahomes/Kelce connection will be fun no matter what, but it also should preclude you from having any sort of depth. Not the case here, as Z was able to put together a relatively complete roster that has upside if things break right with his RBs. They could also break terribly, but this is a 14 team league.
Best Pick: Alvin Kamara for $22. Yes, he's missing at least three games, and yes, the Saints offense won't be at the same level that they were with Brees. But Kamara going for half the price of Jonathan Taylor doesn't make sense, and I didn't think Taylor was bad value. The rest of the league messed up here.
Worst Pick: 49ers D/ST for $4. I'm never a fan of spending more than $1 on a defense, and while San Fran does look good, you already had Mahomes/Kelce at this point and needed to save money for your RB/WR situation. I don't think it ended up burning you, but it easily could have.
Grade: A-

Weissbard
Ferris: The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.

I have no doubt that Weissbard has pulled this exact move, any many like it, several times in his life, both to his parents and Ilana. Classic Weissbard. His auction strategy this year was also Classic Weissbard. While Alan targets specific players, and Levine waits for value no matter what, Weissbard will join auctions late, just to piss someone off, and ends up winning some of them. In recent years he has ended up with solid rosters, and this year is no exception.
Best Pick: David Montgomery for $13. Last year I started multiple Lions RBs more often than not. It didn't lead to a ton of success, but the "backup" ended up outscoring the "starter". While I doubt that happens again, getting a flex-worthy RB with upside in a top 10 offense should cost more than $13.
Worst Pick: Chris Godwin for $14. Weiss definitely needed a WR2 at this point, but there were a ton of options left on the board still, and I want nothing to do with Tampa's offense. Guys like Aiyuk, Sutton, and Lockett went for less money later on, and I like them as much or more than Godwin.
Grade: B

Barnard
[the guys just notice the "additional miles" on the car]
Ferris: [to the audience] Here's where Cameron goes berserk.
Cameron: Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!
[Cameron's screams can be heard all across Chicago]

Surprisingly not a great quote for Barnard's team, but this works. When I "won" the Pierce and Akers auctions, we had the following exchange:

To be fair, I don't like my own team, however it was well worth it to get those texts. Barnard did recover somewhat well with a plethora of WRs. But pretty much every non-Billy team also has a good group of WRs, that's what positional scarcity means. Burrow-to-Higgins could be fun, and JJ is obviously a stud, but there are a ton of question marks after that, even without considering the trash fire at RB. I've given Barnard low grades in the past, mostly for fun, but this year he more than earned it.
Best Pick: N/A
Worst Pick: Calvin Ridley for $30. There were still a good amount of startable RBs on the board at this point, and we have no idea what Ridley will look like in a new offense after a year+ out of the game. At least you two can commiserate over lost parlays.
Grade: F

Nick

Ferris: Hi. Do you speak English?

Garage Attendant: Uh, what country do you think this is?

Nick gets an exchange that he probably has with the service industry in LA at least three times a week. It still cracks me up that he participates in the Room Draft, and then gets his own AirBnB anyway, presumably to screw over Lowe? Still not really sure about the motivation, but glad some things don't change. Another thing that is unlikely to change this year is Nick's lack of a chef's coat. There are absolutely worse teams than his (raises hand), but his RB situation is only better than Barnard's, and he somehow has no real depth either. At least he gets to root for Dimes?
Best Pick: Jerick McKinnon for $7. Not just because this could somehow make Barnard's team look even worse, but if you're going to ride lottery tickets at RB2, hitching your wagon to the Chiefs receiving back isn't a bad choice, especially at this price.
Worst Pick: Deebo Samuel for $24. I'm not a big Deebo guy, but he went for more than guys like James Conner, James Cook, and Khalil Herbert, all unsexy picks that would be a massive RB2 upgrade
Grade: D+

Bennett
Ferris: Look, it's real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we'll take off.
Cameron: How?
Ferris: We'll drive home backwards.

This is how I imagine Mejia tries to convince Bennett to let him make more draft picks. Honestly, after the attempted ownership sale and blatant disregard for required shot taking, we may need to treat Bennett like Dan Snyder. Lowe is not an ideal alternative, but we can at least open an investigation. After a shocking runner-up finish last year, I was curious to see how Bennett would approach the draft this year. It appears that he decided on a hybrid between a Bennett strategy (Goedert/Swift) and a Barnard strategy (Josh x2, Tyreek, Hardman). That is not a compliment.
Best Pick: DeAndre Hopkins for $17. He has looked very old the last couple years, but his situation as the only pass catching option in Tennessee is not bad for this price. Combining him with Tyreek gives you a very high floor at WR.
Worst Pick: D'Andre Swift for $14. The price isn't bad, but he's currently your RB2, when he may not even be that high on the Eagles depth chart. And he's healthy now, which is unlikely to last past Week 4.
Grade: C-

Ajay
Cameron: The 1961 Ferrari 250GT California. Less than a hundred were made. My father spent three years restoring this car. It is his love, it is his passion.
Ferris: It is his fault he didn't lock the garage.

A very Ajay line goes to a very Ajay team. Similar to Levine, Ajay found a lot of value for players that everyone didn't really want, and for good reason. Najee and Etienne may not even play 50% of the snaps for their own teams, Rachaad White is on the Bucs, Jeudy and Jeff Wilson are walking-IR stints, Dak Prescott, etc. No issues with the Metcalf/Amari/Hock trio, but this won't be a very fun team to watch, even if it does make the playoffs.
Best Pick: Rachaad White for $19. The Bucs are the Bucs, but a starting RB is a starting RB, and in this league, that's worth $30+. Especially without any real competition in his own backfield.
Worst Pick: Travis Etienne for $42. Tank Bigsby has been all the rage this preseason, and not just because of his fantastic name. Even if Tank doesn't steal more than a few carries per game from Etienne, I don't want to pay $40+ to find out.
Grade: B-

Esco
Ed Rooney: What's the score?
Pizza Joint Owner: Nothin' nothin'.
Ed Rooney: Who's winning?
Pizza Joint Owner: The Bears.

The Pizza Joint Owner in the movie could have easily been related to any of the characters that worked at the draft bar. Against all odds, this was one of our better setups, with a massive TV, mostly reliable WiFi, and most importantly, no other patrons. Despite the ER trip and public gunfire, this was a pretty successful draft weekend in my book, so kudos for planning once again. And kudos to your team, which was the most effective "Find Value" roster we had this year. You do have some massive injury concerns between Kyler/Tua/Barkley/Dobbins/Mostert/Pitts, but if more than half of them stay healthy, this is a legit contender.
Best Pick: J.K. Dobbins for $24. Another RB that should have gone $30+, injury concerns aside. If he's healthy, he's an RB1 and Esco is back in the Stevens Bowl for the first time since 2017.
Worst Pick: Kyle Pitts for $10. He's already hurt, and even when he's been healthy he has never lived up to the hype. I wouldn't be shocked if he broke out, but I also wouldn't pay $10 find out.
Grade: B+

Draft Grade Summary:
Zacherman:A-
Esco: B+
Marco: B+
Weissbard: B
Ajay: B-
Levine: B-
Gutman: B-
Alan: C+
Bennett
AGD: D+
Nick: D+
Billy: D+
Kumpf: D+
Barnard: F

Rivalry Weeks 2023

 Quick post here as most of you are arriving in Chicago today.

Here are our 2023 Rivalry Weeks (Weeks 1 & 14) Matchups, sorted by the joint ranking (14 points max):
1. Esco vs. Weissbard - 14.0 Points - The Halloween Prank Bowl VI
2. Alan vs. Levine - 13.0 Points - The Unexpected Shade Bowl III
3. Barnard vs. Kumpf - 12.5 Points - The One-Sided Rivalry Bowl III
4. (tie) Gutman vs. Marco - 12.0 Points - The Dad Bowl VI aka The Father of Two Bowl IV
4. (tie) Billy vs. Bennett - 12.0 Points - The Tag Team Bowl II (this admittedly made more sense when Marshall was still "involved" for the first one in 2018)
6. Ajay vs. Nick - 11.5 Points - The Earliest To Leave Draft Weekend Bowl
7. AGD vs. Zacherman - 11.0 Points - The AGD Filled The Survey Out Wrong Bowl

Here is the raw data:

• Despite making the Stevens Bowl last year, Bennett took the mantle of "Most Desired Rival" from Barnard, with two-time champ Weissbard also passing him in the ranks.
• Levine is unsurprisingly the Least Desired Rival, followed by AGD and Zacherman.
• The league was most split on how to rank Barnard, with most of us giving him a top 5 spot (and 4 of us putting him at the top!), while others had him much lower.
• Billy and I had the most consistent rankings, right around the middle of the pack.

See most of you tomorrow.