So consider this the year of redemption. Both of my own ability to spend way to much time documenting our collective pursuit of a chef's coat, but also of our league returning to it's glory days. Barnard and Lowe aren't coming to the draft, so we're already off to a good start in terms of everyone's general enjoyment of life. And I have faith in NOLA as a host city, as well as the Adam-squared planning committee to ensure that we all have a memorable weekend.
Speaking of Belfer and his sidekick Reap, as you can tell from the new background image, we have a more eclectic reigning champion than usual. No offense to the former champs, but Esco isn't a great trash talker, Ajay probably sent one email and got lazy, Billy isn't even aware that he won, Donny auto-drafted, and no one is even aware that Alan won. Okay, maybe a little offense to the former champs (cue the "Where's your Chef Coat?" emails), but I have some high expectations for AGD's listserve game this year.
So while all of us spend the next few days frantically googling Jeff Janis and thinking about if Reggie Wayne is washed up or not, I'll do my Second (Kind Of) Annual Division Mock Draft. As a refresher:
- The Stevens Bowl Champ(s), Stevens Bowl Runner-Up, and Rogers Bowl Winner are the Division Captains. This year that's AGD, Levine and Barnard. I'm of the opinion that you need to be at the draft to be a Captain, and if the rest of the league agrees with me (which is obviously going to happen), then Weissbard gets the third spot.
- The Division Captains are responsible for naming their divisions before Week 1 and can change the names at any time.
- The Division Captains will pick their divisions in non-Snake format.
- The Stevens Bowl Champs, AGD, will have the choice of picking first, second or third, followed by Levine, and Barnard/Weissbard gets whatever is left. First pick gives you the first crack at the weakest competition, but also puts you in a five-person division, limiting your playoff odds if all teams are theoretically created equal. Second pick is similar, while third pick gives you the last pick in the each round, but also gives you a four-person division.
- After Week 13, whoever is in first place in each division is guaranteed a playoff spot. Byes will still go to the teams with the two best records overall. The only way this does not occur is if a division winner is in 6th place or worst in terms of overall points, while a top-3 point scorer does not make the playoffs. In this case, the division winner is booted from the playoffs in favor of the top-3 scorer.
I'm assuming that 1) AGD takes the 4-person division, 2) Levine takes first pick, 3) we vote to give Weissbard Barnard's captainship.
1. Levine takes Alan. The obvious pick here would have been Weissbard, but with him likely getting bumped up, everything changes. Alan has known nothing but pain since his Stevens Bowl, which was his only winning season in this hallowed league.
2. Weissbard takes Gutman. Technically, Bennett has a worse overall record, and is also Bennett, but with Mejia in the mix in an undetermined split of responsibilities, I'll go for the safe pick here.
3. AGD takes Bennett. Given their prior success, AGD doesn't need to be scared of Mejia. Additionally, the potential for a three-duo division is on the table, which would make for some great division names.
4. Levine takes Kumpf. After spearheading the "Call him Kimmel" movement for an entire season, Levine has been biding his time for revenge. That and he doesn't want to be alone with Alan, as the awkwardness is already overwhelming.
5. Weissbard takes Barnard. This may be considered a reach due to Barnard's extremely modest success in the past, but after already taking his captainship, Weiss can't resist humiliating Barnard again.
6. AGD takes Donaldson. His overall record is bolstered by some auto-drafted seasons, but The Don does have the fifth best record of anyone. AGD will gamble that his 4-9 2014 season was a sign of things to come.
7. Levine takes Zacherman. Z's wholly unsurprising drop down the draft board is Levine's benefit, as his division's winning percentage primed to be the lowest in the league. Unfortunately he drags it down as well.
8. Weissbard takes Ajay. The range of outcomes in Weiss's division is already quite large, and Ajay's sobriety at the draft is worth gambling on.
9. AGD takes BAM. The dream comes true! All three duos are in the same division with Donny, who allegedly shares ownership of his team with Rodney Hampton.
10. Levine takes Joseph. In a twist, Levine thinks that Joseph's lawyer workload will weigh him down more than Esco's internal disappointment with finishing last in 2014.
11. Weissbard takes Esco. He can only blame himself, but somehow Weiss went from usurping a division captainship, to landing himself the toughest division. That's so Weissbard.
See you all on Thursday.
