Last week was extremely ugly for most teams. To beat the average team in our league, you would only have to put up 87 points, which I assume is an all-time low. Between byes and injuries, no one is really separating themselves at the top, and only Joseph looks to definitely be eliminated.
This is as good a time as any to check in with the CPP metrics that go into this beloved rankings, and see who is standing out in each particular area.
Adjusted Points Per Game
This metric is simple, it takes your total points, removes your best and worst weeks, and averages it per game.
Best: Esco is 5 points better than AGD here at 107 APPG. No one else is over 100.
Worst: Barnard brings up the rear here at under 78 APPG. Nick is only slightly above him and no one else is under 80.
Difference Between Actual And Optimal Lineup Per Game
I don't have a great nickname or acronym for this one, but it's pretty self-explanatory.
Best: Kimmel is far and away the best here at under 9 points left on his bench per game, though that might have more to do with his terrible bench than anything else. No one else is under 10.
Worst: Weissbard is over 17, Barnard and BAM are in the 16's and Gutman is over 15. Lot's of terrible decisions there stemming from Weissbard's RBs, Barnard's unfounded loyalty to Brady, BAM's general confusion and Gutman's goofiness. All other teams are in the 11-12 range.
Injury Luck
Weighted total of average points lost by injured players for up to 4 games. The CPP Rankings do not punish you for injuries, so the Best teams below have had the best luck, but do not get the CPP-Injury boost that the Worst teams below do.
Best: AGD, Esco and Kumpf have all lost no starters to injuries this year. Two of them are dominant teams, which makes sense. The other is me, which is terrifying.
Worst: Barnard and Bennett stand at the top here. Barnard has had the Steven Jackson fiasco complicated by his trade for David Wilson, while Bennett has dealt with Vereen, Roddy and the Buffalo RB clusterfuck.
Transactions
Some would argue that simply adding or trading players does not necessarily correlate with fantasy success. But Cortese did win this league in college by making over 100 moves in a season, and while most of them were completely senseless, he still won. I would argue that making moves shows that you pay attention and plan ahead, and even terrible trades are more fun than no trades at all.
Best: I have the most acquisitions with 27, with Esco and Joseph both over 20 as well. Weissbard is the only team with 3 trades, though Gutman and Joseph have 2 each.
Worst: Bennett has decided that his hot start to the season warranted only 6 roster moves total, which has a lot to do with his current situation. AGD, Donnie and BAM have also made no trades, which makes me think that it's difficult to get multiple owners to agree to a trade, or to get a non-movie quote response from Donnie.
Weekly Ranking Points
Each week, teams are ranked 1-14 based on the points they score. That weekly score is then added together for this metric of overall consistency.
1. Esco - 85
2. AGD - 74
3. Gutman - 69
4. Weissbard - 67
5. Zacherman - 67
6. Kimmel - 65
7. Kumpf - 61
8. Donnie - 56
9. BAM - 55
10. Alan - 51
11. Ajay - 50
12. Bennett - 49
13. Joseph - 46
14. Barnard - 45
Schedule-Independent Wins
These are wins that are awarded for finishing in the top-7 in a given week. It takes scheduling out of the equation and acts like Victory Points, for those who have played that way before.
6 Wins - AGD, Esco, Gutman
5 Wins - BAM, Weissbard
4 Wins - Alan, Joseph, Kimmel, Kumpf, Zacherman
3 Wins - Ajay, Donnie
2 Wins - Barnard, Bennett
As you can see, some teams have gotten extremely lucky or unlucky thanks to the scheduling Gods.
Lucky - Donnie (+3 wins), Barnard (+2 wins)
Unlucky - Joseph (-3 wins), Kimmel (-2 wins), Gutman (-2 wins)
Week 8 CPP Rankings
1. Esco - CPP: 271.62, Last Week: 1st
2. AGD - CPP: 241.49, Last Week: 3rd
3. Gutman - CPP: 234.88, Last Week: 5th
4. Weissbard - CPP: 229.86, Last Week: 2nd
5. Kumpf - CPP: 216.58, Last Week: 4th
6. Zacherman - CPP: 210.13, Last Week: 7th
7. Kimmel - CPP: 209.83, Last Week: 9th
8. BAM - CPP: 206.24, Last Week: 6th
9. Joseph - CPP: 189.22, Last Week: 8th
10. Alan - CPP: 182.48, Last Week: 11th
11. Donnie - CPP: 177.80, Last Week: 12th
12. Ajay - CPP: 174.79, Last Week: 10th
13. Bennett - CPP: 157.05, Last Week: 13th
14. Barnard - CPP: 152.31, Last Week: 14th
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Week 7 CPP Rankings
This year has been filled with trades already, so this column isn't is vital as it has been in years past. But that doesn't mean it's not still fun to rip everyone else's roster apart and come up with fake trades that could be win-wins. Without further ado...
2013 FALAFEL Mock Trades
Mock Trade 1:
Esco receives Rob Gronkowski and Torrey Smith
Joseph receives Demaryius Thomas
Esco will likely be able to cruise to the playoffs, so his goal should be getting his roster as perfect as possible before that time. Jordan Cameron looked amazing for a couple of weeks, but Brian Hoyer isn't walking through that door. In his place, Brandon Weeden has struggled to get value out of Cameron or Josh Gordan, and I don't think anyone considers Cameron an every-week starter at TE anymore. It's nice being able to start two WR1's every week, but it might be worth balancing your roster to start an actual WR2 with what could be the #1 TE for the rest of the season.
Nick has rebounded somewhat after a miserable start, but he still lacks weekly consistency, especially at WR. With Jordan Reed's emergence in Washington, Gronk is actually expendable. The playoffs remain a long shot, but your lineup with DT and Reed looks better than it would with Torrey and Gronk. Will pride over spending $30+ on Gronk get in the way of improving your team?
Mock Trade 2:
Kumpf receives Marshawn Lynch, Robert Turbin, and Donnie Avery
BAM receives Pierre Garcon, Lamar Miller and Daniel Thomas
There is no question that outside of a potentially healthy Jimmy Graham, my team lacks consistent star power, especially at RB. BAM has a ton of star power at RB, but really nothing else other than Vernon. A trade like this would raise the ceiling of my team during weeks where my solid but not spectacular starters don't perform well, and it would give greater balance to a BAM team that can't assume its receivers will put up more than 5 points each.
Mock Trade 3:
Ajay receives Colin Kaepernick, Stevan Ridley and T.Y. Hilton
Gutman receives Reggie Bush, Dwayne Bowe and Terrelle Pryor
Ajay isn't out of it yet, but he still needs to dig out of his rough start. Complicating things is the fact that he is using three roster spots on QBs, another three on Denver RBs, and one more on an injured Randall Cobb. Roster flexibility is a premium in our league, and no one is at a bigger disadvantage there right now than our defending champ. Assuming the Philly QB situation works itself out soon, a Kaepernick and Eagles QB combo is more than enough to get the job done. And while the downgrade from Reggie to Ridley looks big based on current points, I'd wager that they end up similar for the rest of the season.
Gutman is on the up-and-up, but he's dealing with some mediocre starting RBs. Bush has been a no-doubt RB1 so far, and will slide in nicely next to Muscle Hamster and DMC. It will hurt to lose the big-game ability of Hilton, but buying low on Bowe might not be the worst thing. At first glance, I'm aware that this looks one-sided for Gutman, but Ajay's roster as presently constructed has roughly zero chance of making the playoffs.
Mock Trade 4:
Barnard receives Jacquizz Rodgers
Weissbard receives Greg Jennings
Bar none the least exciting Mock Trade goes to the two teams I dislike the most this year. Weissbard inexplicably gave up actual assets for Quizz right before Steven Jackson Steven was due back from injury. Only one team should value Rodgers, and that's Barnard. It's not too late to capitalize on this, because Jackson has been a royal pain in the ass in terms of his return from injury. Make up for your idiotic move last week by gaining some WR depth.
Barnard is essentially dealing with yet another lost season. He's like the Bucs of our league. Some middling success in prior years, a coach that literally everyone hates, some weird infections, and no real hope for a title in the near-term. Jennings wasn't a terrible draft pick at the time, but he certainly isn't going to start over Calvin or Wallace. Get yourself some actual Jackson insurance, and some penicillin.
Mock Trade 5:
Donnie receives Josh Gordon and Ben Tate
AGD receives Alfred Morris and Percy Harvin
Donnie is likely going to make the playoffs, but this past week wasn't a good sign for his franchise RBs. Foster getting yet another hamstring injury, and Morris losing 3 rushing TDs to Helu can't make the Don feel comfortable moving forward. Unfortunately for him, both of his handcuffs are owned by AGD, because of course they're into kinky shit like that. Assuming the Jacobs/Tolbert big man special is a usable RB2 combo while Foster is out, you can use Alf to upgrade your receivers and grab Tate. Once Foster is healthy, a Texans RB isn't terrible every week.
Pre-Foster injury, AGD would have likely had to give up Welker or Marshall to get Morris. But considering they could easily just plug Tate in as their RB2 right now, they should aim higher. A lineup with AP/Alf at RB, along with your stud receivers and either Rams RB X or Harvin at flex would look pretty unstoppable.
Mock Trade 6:
Alan receives Maurice Jones-Drew
Kimmel receives Danny Amendola
Neither of these teams is going anywhere this year, though Alan obviously has the better chance. And because he has the better chance, there is no way in hell he should be starting Leonard Hankerson or having an out-for-the-season Da'Rel Scott on his bench. MJD has been terrible this year, but he at least adds some respectability to a Masand team that, outside of trade-raping Barnard, has been a mess. Kimmel needs a miracle to make the playoffs, so he might as well go for the gold and hope that Amendola can return an put up 14-catch days in the fully healthy Pats offense. It can't get any worse than it already is.
Mock Trade 7:
Zacherman receives Bilal Powell and Roddy White
Bennett receives Andre Ellington and Rashard Mendenhall
Zacherman has subtly (for him) been making moves in the recent weeks, rattling off three straight wins before falling to Esco. After re-making his team, his only real weaknesses are choosing the correct Arizona RB to start, and figuring out his flex. This trade will at least give him the chance to choose between the correct Jets RB to start, and should solve his flex problem when Roddy gets on the field. These may be marginal improvements, but ones that could be the difference between making and missing the playoffs.
Bennett's two biggest issues this year have been injuries and the Bills. It has been impossible to choose between Spiller and Jackson on any given week, so you really have to hope that one of them gets hurt so the other will only have to split carries with Tashard Choice. This trade may look like it only complicates matters further, by giving you another RB duo on a shitty team to choose from, but it looks like Powell is no longer the no-doubt starter, so you need help. Best case, Spiller and Ellington emerge as legit starters, Vereen gets healthy and fills your flex, and other than QB, your team looks solid again.
Week 7 CPP Rankings
1. Esco - CPP: 244.15, Last Week: 3rd
2. Weissbard - CPP: 232.13, Last Week: 2nd
3. AGD - CPP: 214.09, Last Week: 1st
4. Kumpf - CPP: 210.03, Last Week: 4th
5. Gutman - CPP: 209.68, Last Week: 5th
6. BAM - CPP: 204.83, Last Week: 7th
7. Zacherman - CPP: 186.23, Last Week: 6th
8. Joseph - CPP: 185.61, Last Week: 9th
9. Kimmel - CPP: 183.60, Last Week: 10th
10. Ajay - CPP: 175.14, Last Week: 8th
11. Alan - CPP: 162.49, Last Week: 14th
12. Donnie - CPP: 154.32, Last Week: 12th
13. Bennett - CPP: 152.81, Last Week: 11th
14. Barnard - CPP: 150.23, Last Week: 13th
2013 FALAFEL Mock Trades
Mock Trade 1:
Esco receives Rob Gronkowski and Torrey Smith
Joseph receives Demaryius Thomas
Esco will likely be able to cruise to the playoffs, so his goal should be getting his roster as perfect as possible before that time. Jordan Cameron looked amazing for a couple of weeks, but Brian Hoyer isn't walking through that door. In his place, Brandon Weeden has struggled to get value out of Cameron or Josh Gordan, and I don't think anyone considers Cameron an every-week starter at TE anymore. It's nice being able to start two WR1's every week, but it might be worth balancing your roster to start an actual WR2 with what could be the #1 TE for the rest of the season.
Nick has rebounded somewhat after a miserable start, but he still lacks weekly consistency, especially at WR. With Jordan Reed's emergence in Washington, Gronk is actually expendable. The playoffs remain a long shot, but your lineup with DT and Reed looks better than it would with Torrey and Gronk. Will pride over spending $30+ on Gronk get in the way of improving your team?
Mock Trade 2:
Kumpf receives Marshawn Lynch, Robert Turbin, and Donnie Avery
BAM receives Pierre Garcon, Lamar Miller and Daniel Thomas
There is no question that outside of a potentially healthy Jimmy Graham, my team lacks consistent star power, especially at RB. BAM has a ton of star power at RB, but really nothing else other than Vernon. A trade like this would raise the ceiling of my team during weeks where my solid but not spectacular starters don't perform well, and it would give greater balance to a BAM team that can't assume its receivers will put up more than 5 points each.
Mock Trade 3:
Ajay receives Colin Kaepernick, Stevan Ridley and T.Y. Hilton
Gutman receives Reggie Bush, Dwayne Bowe and Terrelle Pryor
Ajay isn't out of it yet, but he still needs to dig out of his rough start. Complicating things is the fact that he is using three roster spots on QBs, another three on Denver RBs, and one more on an injured Randall Cobb. Roster flexibility is a premium in our league, and no one is at a bigger disadvantage there right now than our defending champ. Assuming the Philly QB situation works itself out soon, a Kaepernick and Eagles QB combo is more than enough to get the job done. And while the downgrade from Reggie to Ridley looks big based on current points, I'd wager that they end up similar for the rest of the season.
Gutman is on the up-and-up, but he's dealing with some mediocre starting RBs. Bush has been a no-doubt RB1 so far, and will slide in nicely next to Muscle Hamster and DMC. It will hurt to lose the big-game ability of Hilton, but buying low on Bowe might not be the worst thing. At first glance, I'm aware that this looks one-sided for Gutman, but Ajay's roster as presently constructed has roughly zero chance of making the playoffs.
Mock Trade 4:
Barnard receives Jacquizz Rodgers
Weissbard receives Greg Jennings
Bar none the least exciting Mock Trade goes to the two teams I dislike the most this year. Weissbard inexplicably gave up actual assets for Quizz right before Steven Jackson Steven was due back from injury. Only one team should value Rodgers, and that's Barnard. It's not too late to capitalize on this, because Jackson has been a royal pain in the ass in terms of his return from injury. Make up for your idiotic move last week by gaining some WR depth.
Barnard is essentially dealing with yet another lost season. He's like the Bucs of our league. Some middling success in prior years, a coach that literally everyone hates, some weird infections, and no real hope for a title in the near-term. Jennings wasn't a terrible draft pick at the time, but he certainly isn't going to start over Calvin or Wallace. Get yourself some actual Jackson insurance, and some penicillin.
Mock Trade 5:
Donnie receives Josh Gordon and Ben Tate
AGD receives Alfred Morris and Percy Harvin
Donnie is likely going to make the playoffs, but this past week wasn't a good sign for his franchise RBs. Foster getting yet another hamstring injury, and Morris losing 3 rushing TDs to Helu can't make the Don feel comfortable moving forward. Unfortunately for him, both of his handcuffs are owned by AGD, because of course they're into kinky shit like that. Assuming the Jacobs/Tolbert big man special is a usable RB2 combo while Foster is out, you can use Alf to upgrade your receivers and grab Tate. Once Foster is healthy, a Texans RB isn't terrible every week.
Pre-Foster injury, AGD would have likely had to give up Welker or Marshall to get Morris. But considering they could easily just plug Tate in as their RB2 right now, they should aim higher. A lineup with AP/Alf at RB, along with your stud receivers and either Rams RB X or Harvin at flex would look pretty unstoppable.
Mock Trade 6:
Alan receives Maurice Jones-Drew
Kimmel receives Danny Amendola
Neither of these teams is going anywhere this year, though Alan obviously has the better chance. And because he has the better chance, there is no way in hell he should be starting Leonard Hankerson or having an out-for-the-season Da'Rel Scott on his bench. MJD has been terrible this year, but he at least adds some respectability to a Masand team that, outside of trade-raping Barnard, has been a mess. Kimmel needs a miracle to make the playoffs, so he might as well go for the gold and hope that Amendola can return an put up 14-catch days in the fully healthy Pats offense. It can't get any worse than it already is.
Mock Trade 7:
Zacherman receives Bilal Powell and Roddy White
Bennett receives Andre Ellington and Rashard Mendenhall
Zacherman has subtly (for him) been making moves in the recent weeks, rattling off three straight wins before falling to Esco. After re-making his team, his only real weaknesses are choosing the correct Arizona RB to start, and figuring out his flex. This trade will at least give him the chance to choose between the correct Jets RB to start, and should solve his flex problem when Roddy gets on the field. These may be marginal improvements, but ones that could be the difference between making and missing the playoffs.
Bennett's two biggest issues this year have been injuries and the Bills. It has been impossible to choose between Spiller and Jackson on any given week, so you really have to hope that one of them gets hurt so the other will only have to split carries with Tashard Choice. This trade may look like it only complicates matters further, by giving you another RB duo on a shitty team to choose from, but it looks like Powell is no longer the no-doubt starter, so you need help. Best case, Spiller and Ellington emerge as legit starters, Vereen gets healthy and fills your flex, and other than QB, your team looks solid again.
Week 7 CPP Rankings
1. Esco - CPP: 244.15, Last Week: 3rd
2. Weissbard - CPP: 232.13, Last Week: 2nd
3. AGD - CPP: 214.09, Last Week: 1st
4. Kumpf - CPP: 210.03, Last Week: 4th
5. Gutman - CPP: 209.68, Last Week: 5th
6. BAM - CPP: 204.83, Last Week: 7th
7. Zacherman - CPP: 186.23, Last Week: 6th
8. Joseph - CPP: 185.61, Last Week: 9th
9. Kimmel - CPP: 183.60, Last Week: 10th
10. Ajay - CPP: 175.14, Last Week: 8th
11. Alan - CPP: 162.49, Last Week: 14th
12. Donnie - CPP: 154.32, Last Week: 12th
13. Bennett - CPP: 152.81, Last Week: 11th
14. Barnard - CPP: 150.23, Last Week: 13th
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Trade Analysis 4
Weissbard
Gets:
Anquan
Boldin WR SF
Jacquizz
Rodgers RB ATL
Pierre
Thomas RB NO
Gutman
Gets:
Vincent
Jackson WR TB
Ajay
Gets:
Julian
Edelman WR NE
I’m going to treat this as one 3 way
trade because it’s really about Weissbard giving up assets to get startable RBs
#HotSportsTake:
Can Gutman actually win two trades in
the same year?? Our favorite trade addict must be putting all that extra time
of his to some use. Is one week of Jacquizz and Pierre really worth giving up those
WRs for Weissbard? Oh wait, Pierre is on
bye this week? Hmmm…
Most
Valuable Addition: I think Vincent
Jackson is a top 15 receiver with potential to break the top 10 by the end of
the season if Mike Glennon doesn’t completely fall apart. Everyone else in this
trade ranges from reliable flex to desperation flex with my preference for the
rest of the year being: Jackson, Edelman, Thomas, Boldin, and then Rodgers.
Potential
Starters Gained: For this week
Weissbard gets to insert Jacquizz in as a replacement for Sproles on his bye week.
He also will have to decide between Pierre, Boldin, Rob Woods, Brian Hartline
and Emmanuel Sanders for his WR2 and flex position for the rest of the year.
This is only if you assume Larry Fitzgerald will be healthy enough to be his
WR1 for the rest of the year which considering he has been questionable
basically every week this season, is a little concerning...
Ajay would never have started Pierre
over his three headed RB combo so losing him is no concern. Edelman becomes his
best bye week replacement for his WRs and maybe even a starter over Bowe if the
matchup fits.
Gutman gets an upgrade from Boldin to
Vjax every week and successfully sells high on Jacquizz right before his value
disappears.
Ajay
Trade Grade: Our defending champion gets
a much needed boost to his receiving corps after Randall Cobb fractures his
fibula, Pierre was being wasted on his bench this is a no brainer. Overall Trade Grade: A
Gutman
Trade Grade: I really like this trade
for Gutman which I can’t really believe I’m saying twice in one year. Vjax
automatically becomes his WR1 and so he has a solid trio of wide receivers
between Steve Smith, TY Hilton and Jackson. I don’t see Boldin or Rodgers as a
starting caliber player over anyone on his current roster for the rest of the
season so I see no concern in dealing them. And once McFadden gets off his bye
he also can be rotated into the RB and flex positions based on matchups and bye
weeks. Overall Trade Grade: A
Weissbard
Trade Grade: Considering the other two members involved in
this trade got As, you can assume this doesn’t bode well for Daniel. The
Edelman/Thomas trade makes sense except for the fact this week is your week of
greatest RB need and Thomas is on bye.
Also now you have both starting Saints RBs to decide between for the rest of
the year. They have yet to have a week where both of them succeeded at the same
time so do you start them both and hope for the best or just guess each week on
who is going to score the touchdowns? At least in terms of value though, this
trade is very even: Weissbard/Ajay Trade
Grade: B-
The trade with Gutman is far more
concerning. While this one makes far more sense in the short term because you
can start Jacquizz and Boldin right away this doesn’t really excite me in the
long term. Jason Snelling is now predicted to play this week for the Falcons so
Jacquizz won’t be getting any red zone carries and once Steven Jackson comes
back next week (or maybe even this week) Jacquizz becomes at best a handcuff.
So really this comes down to who do you like more over the course of the year
Vincent Jackson or Anquan Boldin. And it’s not even close, Jackson is the
better choice. Since his Week 1 explosion Anquan has averaged only 5.5 points
per week and he still has his bye coming up in week 9 while Vincent is already past his bye week
and appears to be healthy after an early season rib injury slowed him down. Weissbard/Gutman Trade Grade: C-
Overall
Trade Grade: C
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Week 6 CPP Rankings
First off, I want to thank Joseph for stepping in last week and putting together the quintessential Joseph rankings. I don't think there was one positive statement in there for any team, including his own.
I'm going to continue down the road to Negative Town this week, because as I went through each team this week while compiling the CPP, I noticed something disturbing. Every team has at least one player that has no business being rostered, even in our league. So I will be calling out those players in this week's rankings, as both a way to keep things short, and as a way to build excitement towards next week's Annual Mock Trade column.
Note that this was done on Tuesday, so today's moves were not considered.
Week 6 CPP Rankings:
1. AGD - CPP: 220.28, Last Week - 3rd
Rod Streater. You already have Marshall, Welker, Tampa Mike and the wildly FALAFEL overpaid Eddie Royal. Your roster is absurdly stacked and I consider you the Stevens Bowl favorite since Zac Stacy's emergence, but you are still wasting a roster spot.
2. Weissbard - CPP: 212.17, Last Week - 4th
Mike Goodson. I badly wanted to say Lance Dunbar, as the Joseph Randle Bidding War will live in infamy, but it's gotta be Goodson here. You realize he is the third string RB on the Jets right? Well he was, before he got hurt, which mercifully prompted you to drop him.
3. Esco - CPP: 210.90, Last Week - 1st
Sean McGrath. Honestly, I thought I went to high school with this guy. He sounds like he owns a hardware store in upstate New York, and should not be owned by any NFL team, let alone a fantasy team that gave up Garcon to get Jordan Cameron.
4. Kumpf - CPP: 209.83, Last Week - 2nd
Toby Gerhart. I can't lie, I picked him up solely because I thought AP was going to sit out and mourn the death of his son. And I feel like shit about it. I don't want to talk about this anymore.
5. Gutman - CPP: 183.44, Last Week - 7th
Jerome Simpson. It easily could have been Jeff Demps because, who? But handcuffs are more valuable in our league than most, just ask Weissbard, so it has to be the 4th target in the Christian Ponder/Matt Cassel/Josh Freeman led offense.
6. Zacherman - CPP: 183.12, Last Week - 10th
Matt Bryant. God dammit, a two-kicker team? Bryant is currently 24th in points scored among kickers, and while he might get more chances with Julio out, is he really worth holding onto during his bye? Your pledge class makes some confusing choices with their kickers.
7. BAM - CPP: 179.58, Last Week - 9th
Ted Ginn Jr. No. Just No.
8. Ajay - CPP: 171.57, Last Week - 5th
Justin Tucker. As much as it pains me to say it, I have a lot of respect for you as a fantasy athlete. Having said that, there is absolutely no reason to ever even consider owning two kickers, even if it is just for one week. Did you really think anyone else was going to pick up Tucker on his bye if you dropped him? You know better than that.
9. Joseph - CPP: 160.48, Last Week - 8th
Brian Robiskie. You probably have the best-worst-rostered player in the league, so congrats for that I guess. But Atlanta's offense is about to get really shitty, and I want no part of it. What's that? Matty Ice is my QB? Perfect.
10. Kimmel - CPP: 160.24, Last Week - 14th
Andrew Kimmel. Clearly the biggest issue with this team is its owner. I look at this roster, pre- and post-trade, and I don't see 0-6. If its not the players, its the coach. I'm not saying you should kill yourself, or even quit the league, but...well maybe I am saying those things.
11. Bennett - CPP: 156.69, Last Week - 6th
Felix Jones. When he is was 100% healthy on a solid Dallas offense, he was still un-startable. Now he's perpetually banged up on a terrible Pittsburgh offense. Get rid of him.
12. Donnie - CPP: 154.46, Last Week - 13th
Santana Moss. Another solid roster, and outside of a recently suspended Kellen Winslow, Santana has the least value here. I have to give you credit Don, your team lucked its way into a few wins to start the year, but those are in the books, and your team looks decent now. When Percy gets back, this team could have a hint of the 2010 Stevens Bowl Champion in it.
13. Barnard - CPP: 144.52, Last Week - 11th
Pats D/ST. Your consistent ownership of Michael Turner may have spurred this column idea, but your refusal to drop the 17th best fantasy defense is right in line with that. Granted the Pats get to face Geno this week, but I think you could have spared $5 of your $150 FAAB dollars to get them back. Without Wilfork, Talib and Mayo, they may not even be worth starting in Week 7.
14. Alan - CPP: 137.47, Last Week - 12th
Knile Davis. Your waiver wire moves have been baffling this year. Not asking for Leonard Hankerson in the trade with Barnard, followed by bidding $10 for him the following week. Dropping Stephen Hill for no reason, then losing him in free agency when he had value. Keeping an empty roster spot on your team for a week. But overall, you have some useful guys on your roster at this point. Davis has value as a handcuff to Jamaal Charles, but you don't own Charles. So you must just be hoping that he gets hurt.
MACH
I'm going to continue down the road to Negative Town this week, because as I went through each team this week while compiling the CPP, I noticed something disturbing. Every team has at least one player that has no business being rostered, even in our league. So I will be calling out those players in this week's rankings, as both a way to keep things short, and as a way to build excitement towards next week's Annual Mock Trade column.
Note that this was done on Tuesday, so today's moves were not considered.
Week 6 CPP Rankings:
1. AGD - CPP: 220.28, Last Week - 3rd
Rod Streater. You already have Marshall, Welker, Tampa Mike and the wildly FALAFEL overpaid Eddie Royal. Your roster is absurdly stacked and I consider you the Stevens Bowl favorite since Zac Stacy's emergence, but you are still wasting a roster spot.
2. Weissbard - CPP: 212.17, Last Week - 4th
Mike Goodson. I badly wanted to say Lance Dunbar, as the Joseph Randle Bidding War will live in infamy, but it's gotta be Goodson here. You realize he is the third string RB on the Jets right? Well he was, before he got hurt, which mercifully prompted you to drop him.
3. Esco - CPP: 210.90, Last Week - 1st
Sean McGrath. Honestly, I thought I went to high school with this guy. He sounds like he owns a hardware store in upstate New York, and should not be owned by any NFL team, let alone a fantasy team that gave up Garcon to get Jordan Cameron.
4. Kumpf - CPP: 209.83, Last Week - 2nd
Toby Gerhart. I can't lie, I picked him up solely because I thought AP was going to sit out and mourn the death of his son. And I feel like shit about it. I don't want to talk about this anymore.
5. Gutman - CPP: 183.44, Last Week - 7th
Jerome Simpson. It easily could have been Jeff Demps because, who? But handcuffs are more valuable in our league than most, just ask Weissbard, so it has to be the 4th target in the Christian Ponder/Matt Cassel/Josh Freeman led offense.
6. Zacherman - CPP: 183.12, Last Week - 10th
Matt Bryant. God dammit, a two-kicker team? Bryant is currently 24th in points scored among kickers, and while he might get more chances with Julio out, is he really worth holding onto during his bye? Your pledge class makes some confusing choices with their kickers.
7. BAM - CPP: 179.58, Last Week - 9th
Ted Ginn Jr. No. Just No.
8. Ajay - CPP: 171.57, Last Week - 5th
Justin Tucker. As much as it pains me to say it, I have a lot of respect for you as a fantasy athlete. Having said that, there is absolutely no reason to ever even consider owning two kickers, even if it is just for one week. Did you really think anyone else was going to pick up Tucker on his bye if you dropped him? You know better than that.
9. Joseph - CPP: 160.48, Last Week - 8th
Brian Robiskie. You probably have the best-worst-rostered player in the league, so congrats for that I guess. But Atlanta's offense is about to get really shitty, and I want no part of it. What's that? Matty Ice is my QB? Perfect.
10. Kimmel - CPP: 160.24, Last Week - 14th
Andrew Kimmel. Clearly the biggest issue with this team is its owner. I look at this roster, pre- and post-trade, and I don't see 0-6. If its not the players, its the coach. I'm not saying you should kill yourself, or even quit the league, but...well maybe I am saying those things.
11. Bennett - CPP: 156.69, Last Week - 6th
Felix Jones. When he is was 100% healthy on a solid Dallas offense, he was still un-startable. Now he's perpetually banged up on a terrible Pittsburgh offense. Get rid of him.
12. Donnie - CPP: 154.46, Last Week - 13th
Santana Moss. Another solid roster, and outside of a recently suspended Kellen Winslow, Santana has the least value here. I have to give you credit Don, your team lucked its way into a few wins to start the year, but those are in the books, and your team looks decent now. When Percy gets back, this team could have a hint of the 2010 Stevens Bowl Champion in it.
13. Barnard - CPP: 144.52, Last Week - 11th
Pats D/ST. Your consistent ownership of Michael Turner may have spurred this column idea, but your refusal to drop the 17th best fantasy defense is right in line with that. Granted the Pats get to face Geno this week, but I think you could have spared $5 of your $150 FAAB dollars to get them back. Without Wilfork, Talib and Mayo, they may not even be worth starting in Week 7.
14. Alan - CPP: 137.47, Last Week - 12th
Knile Davis. Your waiver wire moves have been baffling this year. Not asking for Leonard Hankerson in the trade with Barnard, followed by bidding $10 for him the following week. Dropping Stephen Hill for no reason, then losing him in free agency when he had value. Keeping an empty roster spot on your team for a week. But overall, you have some useful guys on your roster at this point. Davis has value as a handcuff to Jamaal Charles, but you don't own Charles. So you must just be hoping that he gets hurt.
Alan Masand
im hoping something happens to jamaal charles
MACH
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Week 5 CPP Rankings
This week we get our first set of guest rankings, brought to you by none other than our Commish. They have been edited for formatting, but not for spelling, capitalization, or grammer. Obviously:
1. Esco - CPP: 211.25, Last Week: 1st
How dare you give me a B in that trade with zball. Ray ray is a
champ and will lead the dingleberry nation back from the dead. More on that
later. Your teams not that good and you’ve been getting lucky. Your luck
finally caught up with you this week and I predict more losses to come
especially in week 9. No idea how you lost and your cpp shit went up. Probably
because these rankings are retarded. And I heard you’re a premature ejaculator.
If I was a fruitcake who communicated in gifs I’d post one of a Mexican eating
a bag of dicks. You’ll all just have to use your imagination.
2. Kumpf - CPP: 207.98, Last Week: 2nd
Guess how much I care about whether you think I could do better
naming my division? About as much as I care about some dumbass 4-way trade. You
need to not be starting benny agbayani’s cousin chris. Ill give you Donald
brown for cecil. And I’ll throw in 2 wings (not drumsticks) at winter meetings.
Come on bro. your team is pretty solid actually, relatively balanced. If cj2k
wasn’t such an enormous pussy you’d be better. You’re pretty weak at rb, but I
guess so are most people in this league. Big matchup against weezlebeezle this
week, if you can pick up the W with natty ice and lamar on byes you’ll be in
good shape going forward.
3. AGD - CPP: 205.25, Last Week: 3rd
After numerous rounds of trade talks with ding-tap broke down
last week, you got a nice victory over the worst franchise in falafel history.
Solid waiver pickup with Stacey. Good luck figuring out who to start between
him and Richardson for the rest of the year. I feel like you guys might be the
team whose managers weigh the least in the league even though theres two of
you. Did we ever decide to take you guys off probation?
4. Weissbard - CPP: 186.48, Last Week: 5th
Your team is actually pretty good, and usually you are pretty
bad at fantasy football. You should stop being such a bitch and sending out general
requests that people offer you trades and man up and trade for a decent rb.
You’re gonna have to overpay, just fucking do it. Try kimmel hes handing out
RBs like they’re jujubes. This might sound cray but you might wanna trade
peyton. His stock will never be higher and you could get a package of gold for
him right now. If only your roster and your general persona lived up to your
amazing team name. ya slapdick.
5. Ajay - CPP: 161.68, Last Week: 4th
I still can’t believe how fucked up you were when I found you on
the street that night. I want to meet the kids who made you rip shots and then
left you alone too plastered to get in a cab and/or stem the steady flow of
fecal leakage. I feel like I’d get along with them. Your team is decent but
you’re still brown. At least you’re not muffin. Also sick lineup decisions last
week dumbass.
6. Bennett - CPP: 159.76, Last Week: 6th
If I finish with a worse record than you I might kill myself.
Can’t believe you lost to Donnie who might be the worst 4-1 team in fantasy
history. Im really gonna fuck your life up when I go down to tampa in march. My
goal is to get you at least evicted and maybe stabbed. I wish you participated
on the listserv more so I had more opportunities to laugh at you, but I
understand why you choose not to given your profound lack of wit or valuable
insight. Cathy told me you have the tiniest dick shes ever seen. Did you know
bilal powell hails from the village where they shot “the air up there”? true
story. Your team really sucks a fat dick and will likely drop precipitously in
the standings, so enjoy being over .500 and relevant while it lasts. I’m on to
you weatherman.
7. Gutman - CPP: 155.91, Last Week: 12th
God I was so happy to see ridley be inactive after I traded him
to you. It’s really a special kind of feeling. Cant be easily simulated outside
of the fantasy context. I guess if you’re banging a chick and drop her and your
buddy starts hitting it and she gains 60 pounds that would be close, but I feel
like this is better. Don’t even care if that trade turns out in your favor, the
joy I got from ridley being out makes it worthwhile. I will say however that
the fact that you would have beaten me with just your TE, flex, d/st and kicker
mitigates my joy significantly. If rivers comes down with syphilis after
playing in Oakland it will be like chanukah came early. Loser of your/barnards
matchup this week is probably done.
8. Joseph - CPP: 155.73, Last Week: 9th
I don’t care if I’m 1-4, I’m about to rape all of you. After an
admittedly subpar draft effort where I actually forgot to bid on WRs and
literally spent half my budget on RGIII, ahmad and ridley, I basically turned
over my entire lineup last week and I think I’m ready to dominate. Espn agrees
as im favored by 37.8 against the “4-1” Donnie. I basically need to go 7-1
though, so I’m on extremely thin ice. If I somehow sneak into the playoffs
though you’re all fucked. The fantasy gods continued to torture me last week,
dangling an undeserved victory in front of me against black nutz and then
snatching it away in the form of schaub having one of the worst fantasy
performances I’ve witnessed. crazy shit can always happen when you’re playing
against the luckiest bastard in falafel history, but I feel confident going
into this matchup with my revamped lineup.
9. BAM - CPP: 150.72, Last Week: 7th
You guys are almost as lucky as Donnie to be 4-1. Looking at
your lineup it seems like it should be one of the better teams in the league,
but its just been under achieving. I have to be honest, I’m rooting against you
guys all year because I’d rather see you two dress up like women than
reap/belfer, especially since it would be only a mild deviation from normal for
reap. Your RBs are dirty and you have better depth than most, I’d say if you
could trade for an upgrade at QB without giving up one of your two starting RBs
you’d be a real contender. However, given how unintelligible your responses
were to my trade overtures recently, I’d tend to doubt your ability to do so.
Marshall please stay active on the listserv, your emails are one of only a
handful of things related to fantasy or real football that aren’t a source of
misery for me these days.
10. Zacherman - CPP: 148.88, Last Week: 11th
boy did I feel better about our trade after everyone’s
performance this past week. Although I kind of wish I hadn’t thrown in harry
douglas now that julios dead. Just the fact that I didn’t have to wait until
yesterday at noon to see schaub removed from my team made it worthwhile. I
think it helped both of us though, jamal is a straight up g and you have the
depth to take the hit at WR. By the way, can we can an update on kimmel (the
real kimmel)? I’m assuming you’re still in contact with your former butt buddy.
Is he alive? Does he have any thoughts or feelings on being unceremoniously
booted for steve Levine? Also I think if you lose to new kimmel this week you
should be kicked out of the league.
11. Barnard - CPP: 147.21, Last Week: 8th
You really need to stop writing those stupid fucking awards emails.
I never knew someone could try so hard to be funny and still fail so miserably.
I have about as much respect for you as the average dude in the espn cafeteria
has for john brenkus. To make matters worse your current lineup has replaced
mine as the biggest abomination in the league, and you definitely have the
smallest dick in the league. god you’re annoying. On the plus side I’ve
thoroughly enjoyed our lack of gchat interaction recently, lets keep that
going.
12. Alan - CPP: 130.07, Last Week: 10th
Glad to see you filled
out your last roster spot muff. However, the fact that you have totally
neglected to make a team name is really a slap in the face to the rest of the
league, especially those of us who have gone to the trouble to even upload a
team picture (me, Donnie and the gay twins; I don’t count gutman and zball
because theirs are lame). Even Bennett made some incredibly dumb team name to
remind us how much of an idiot he is, you cant do your part? I know you’re all
hot shit now because you’re dating chicks and living in an apartment and trying
to get people to call you alan and everything, but how about throwing us little
people a bone once in a while. At least you paid $30 to pick up a dude that no
one else bid on, so that was pretty amusing. You might not win another game.
13. Donnie - CPP: 129.05, Last Week: 13th
You motherfucker. How the fuck do you do it? I don’t know how
this cpp works but all I know is you have the 4th fewest points in
the league and are tied for the league’s best record. Looks like your luck may
have run out though with Julio going down. I was going to make fun of you for
bidding $77 on keenan allen, but then I saw your other WRs and now I get it.
Sidebet proposal: loser this week has to nair their nutsack on video and send
it to barnard.
14. Kimmel - CPP: 126.22, Last Week: 14th
Get your shit together dude. This could end up being the
shortest stint ever in falafel, even chris long made it through a couple
seasons before he got booted. When I look at your lineup I have to wonder who
you used all your draft dollars on, especially since I remember you got
deangelo for like 3 cents. Must really suck for you living with esco on Sundays
given how vastly inferior you are to him in fantasy, and must really suck
living with amir any day. I feel for you bro.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Trade Analysis 3
Nick Gets:
Ray Rice RB BAL
Bernard Pierce RB BAL
Steve Johnson WR BUF
Hakeem Nicks WR NYG
Zacherman Gets:
Matt Schaub QB HOU
Jamaal Charles RB KC
Scott Chandler TE BUF
Harry Douglas WR ATL
#HotSportsTake: Zacherman
gives up three startable players plus a strong handcuff for a top 3 RB and
spare parts. I think the price was a little high and now depth becomes an issue
but at least you know exactly who your starting lineup is every week. As for
Nick this trade makes perfect sense, you desperately need a complete roster and
now you get three starters for the price of one even if all of them come with
considerable question marks.
Most Valuable Addition: Without
question this is Charles. Along with AP and McCoy he is a top 3 running back
this year and I think you could make the case he will probably be the highest
scorer for the rest of the year. Because AP is so dependent on long runs for
his high point totals if he doesn’t break many more 60+ yarders Jamaal is
likely to pass him by. Also why doesn’t he have a nickname? Doug Martin gets
Muscle Hamster as a rookie and Jamaal can’t get one at 25 after multiple
Pro-Bowl seasons and a college career at UT? Someone needs to work on this.
Potential Starters Gained: Zacherman
only gains Charles as a starting player and any situation where is has to put
any of the other three players into the starting lineup is a scary one.
Nick will probably be starting Ray, Hakeem and Stevie every week from here
on out. Doug Baldwin is definitely worth consideration for that flex spot but
at the very least Nick gets at least one RB and a WR every week for Charles.
Nijo Trade Grade: You needed
to sell off your team for parts if you want any hope of making the playoffs and
you clearly have done that with the Ridley move and now this. We will see next
week if it pays off with Bell back from bye and this trade going through on
Tuesday. My fear with this trade if every part you picked up has serious red
flags. Ray Rice finally broke out this weekend but he has barely been on the
field over 50% of the time for the year and is no longer the stud he once was.
You are going to have to start him every week that he’s healthy but my guess is
Pierce will continue to get 10-15 touches every game and the Ravens just aren’t
good enough to assume you can get multiple touchdown games from Rice very
often. Hakeem is an injury risk and has already gotten a little banged up
earlier this year and the odds of him making it through every game this year
are basically zero percent. Since he entered the league in 2009 he has played
in 14, 13, 15, and 13 games so pencil him in for about two missed games at some
point this year. Stevie is going to have a rookie
from Duke throwing the ball to him this Sunday. When EJ Manuel gets back in
a few weeks hopefully he will return to WR2 value but until then it’s going to
be pretty rough in Buffalo. Just like your last trade this was a move you had
to make and while I don’t think you robbed Zacherman like you did to Gutman I
think this is good value for Charles who could end up being the 2013 Fantasy
MVP.
Zball Trade Grade: Zacherman
has pretty much set his RB/WR/Flex lineup for the rest of the year, Jamaal
Charles and Andre Ellington at RB and Eric Decker, Justin Blackmon and DeAndre
Hopkins at WR/Flex. That is a fine lineup and with Julius Thomas and Brees at
TE and QB you definitely have potential to put up big points every week. The
only concern is what happens on bye weeks. Without flex worthy players like
Stevie and Hakeem in the mix Harry Douglas becomes your best play off the bench
and being forced to put in any of your backup RBs on your current roster is
going to be very depressing. This is great news for Gutman who plays you in
week 9 when you will have Justin Blackmon, Eric Decker, Julius Thomas, Andre
Ellington and Rashard Mendenhall on bye. I will be very impressed if you break
60 that week. So basically you are giving up week 9 and potentially week 10
(Charles and Chris Ivory bye week) for a strong lineup the rest of the year. I’m
still concerned about the lack of depth but this move definitely makes you one
of the stronger teams when you can put your full starting roster in the lineup
Side Bet Payment
Ajay and I had a Side Bet for our Week 4 matchup. He lost.
It's a self-proclaimed low-effort video, but it's a good start to what I hope will be a series of Side Bet Payments coming soon.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Trade Analysis 2
Nick Gets:
Torrey Smith WR BAL
Matt Schaub QB HOU
Le’Veon Bell RB PIT
Gutman Gets:
Steven Ridley RB NE
Philip Rivers QB SD
Jerome Simpson WR MIN
#HotSportsTake: Wow Ridley is really worth that much?? I understand the flexibility that Philip Rivers allows Gutman but giving up a WR2 in Smith and a starting RB in Bell is an awful lot for one big name…
Reaction in Gif Form
Most Valuable Addition: Even if I am hesitant about his long term potential Ridley is the
unquestioned star of this trade. If he can last a few more games without fumbling then
maaaaybe he will finally take all the carries back from Bolden and Blount. The real questions come in Week 11 when Shane Vereen is projected to come back from his injury. Ridley only has 4 games as unchallenged RB1 before then so if he is unable to seize control of the job then you know that Bill Belichick will have no problem giving the load to Vereen when he gets back.
Potential Starters Gained: This is a huge trade for Nick as his wide receivers have been an abomination since the draft. With Torrey Smith on board he finally has a WR comfortably within the top 25 and most weeks is a top 20 receiver. While Le’Veon Bell is highly unlikely to get two touchdowns every week he still is a starting running back every week in our league and once his bye is over will be in the lineup every week. The fear is an aggravation of his foot injury could sideline him once again later this year. Giving up Rivers hurts this week because Griffin is on bye but from now on you won’t have to deal with a QB dilemma which will make your weekly roster decisions easier.
Gutman is actually quite deep at WR so Torrey doesn’t hurt him as much as I originally assumed. T.Y. Hilton has been a pretty big disappointment this year after being on most people’s sleepers list before the season started but between him, Steve Smith, Anquan and Jerome Simpson you should be able to field at least two capable receivers every week. And Ridley can replace Bell in your lineup next to the Muscle Hamster. Philip Rivers becomes Kaepernick insurance and your QB position now comes down to matchups which can be difficult to successfully predict every week. The real question is why do you have the Cowboys defense on your roster when they are playing premier offenses until week 9 against Minnesota? I think it’s time to drop them and probably Kyle Rudolph for deep sleepers like Kenjon Barner, Keenan Allen, or Terrence Williams so at least you have potential for growth/injury insurance as the season progresses.
Nijo Trade Grade: Originally I loved this trade for you, after looking a little deeper I still like it I just don’t think it was as much of a robbery as I anticipated. You get two every week starters out of the deal and the receiver options you had to deal with before Torrey were really disgusting. Even if Ridley ends up doing significantly better than Bell over the course of the year I don’t see you getting too worked up about it because of your security at wide receiver now. So I’m going to give you this. Overall Trade Grade: A-
Gutman Trade Grade: After looking at your other wide receiver options and your clear need to make a deal at 1-3, I understand why you did what you did. Ridley could be the home run that sneaks you into the playoffs. And I also like the flexibility of having Philip Rivers to play the matchups with Kaepernick so you can stop being so 49er reliant. So my original take was a little strong, I give you credit for making the move when Bell’s value was high.
Overall Trade Grade: B (could be an A if Ridley returns to RB1 status)
Torrey Smith WR BAL
Matt Schaub QB HOU
Le’Veon Bell RB PIT
Gutman Gets:
Steven Ridley RB NE
Philip Rivers QB SD
Jerome Simpson WR MIN
#HotSportsTake: Wow Ridley is really worth that much?? I understand the flexibility that Philip Rivers allows Gutman but giving up a WR2 in Smith and a starting RB in Bell is an awful lot for one big name…
Reaction in Gif Form
Most Valuable Addition: Even if I am hesitant about his long term potential Ridley is the
unquestioned star of this trade. If he can last a few more games without fumbling then
maaaaybe he will finally take all the carries back from Bolden and Blount. The real questions come in Week 11 when Shane Vereen is projected to come back from his injury. Ridley only has 4 games as unchallenged RB1 before then so if he is unable to seize control of the job then you know that Bill Belichick will have no problem giving the load to Vereen when he gets back.
Potential Starters Gained: This is a huge trade for Nick as his wide receivers have been an abomination since the draft. With Torrey Smith on board he finally has a WR comfortably within the top 25 and most weeks is a top 20 receiver. While Le’Veon Bell is highly unlikely to get two touchdowns every week he still is a starting running back every week in our league and once his bye is over will be in the lineup every week. The fear is an aggravation of his foot injury could sideline him once again later this year. Giving up Rivers hurts this week because Griffin is on bye but from now on you won’t have to deal with a QB dilemma which will make your weekly roster decisions easier.
Gutman is actually quite deep at WR so Torrey doesn’t hurt him as much as I originally assumed. T.Y. Hilton has been a pretty big disappointment this year after being on most people’s sleepers list before the season started but between him, Steve Smith, Anquan and Jerome Simpson you should be able to field at least two capable receivers every week. And Ridley can replace Bell in your lineup next to the Muscle Hamster. Philip Rivers becomes Kaepernick insurance and your QB position now comes down to matchups which can be difficult to successfully predict every week. The real question is why do you have the Cowboys defense on your roster when they are playing premier offenses until week 9 against Minnesota? I think it’s time to drop them and probably Kyle Rudolph for deep sleepers like Kenjon Barner, Keenan Allen, or Terrence Williams so at least you have potential for growth/injury insurance as the season progresses.
Nijo Trade Grade: Originally I loved this trade for you, after looking a little deeper I still like it I just don’t think it was as much of a robbery as I anticipated. You get two every week starters out of the deal and the receiver options you had to deal with before Torrey were really disgusting. Even if Ridley ends up doing significantly better than Bell over the course of the year I don’t see you getting too worked up about it because of your security at wide receiver now. So I’m going to give you this. Overall Trade Grade: A-
Gutman Trade Grade: After looking at your other wide receiver options and your clear need to make a deal at 1-3, I understand why you did what you did. Ridley could be the home run that sneaks you into the playoffs. And I also like the flexibility of having Philip Rivers to play the matchups with Kaepernick so you can stop being so 49er reliant. So my original take was a little strong, I give you credit for making the move when Bell’s value was high.
Overall Trade Grade: B (could be an A if Ridley returns to RB1 status)
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Week 4 CPP Rankings
After getting the highest points prize in Week 3, and then improving on that score, I thought I'd at least be in the running for highest points in Week 4. But a couple of elderly men had other plans, and led Weissbard to the highest point total we are likely to see all year.
Seeing as my math was horribly incorrect last week, and I'm short on time, I'm skipping the Division Captain update and getting right to the...
Week 4 CPP Rankings:
1. Esco - CPP: 197.58, Last Week: 1st
It's hard to dispute Esco's dominance so far. His weekly RB2/Flex dilemma will be a moot point if everyone else keeps performing the way they have been. Even if injury strikes one of his starters, he might have the deepest bench in the league. At this rate he will be resting his starters for the playoffs by Week 9.
2. Kumpf - CPP: 172.33, Last Week: 3rd
I finally got out from behind Barnard, and I gotta tell you, it feels great. I have the #1 WR, the #1 TE, the #5 QB... and that's it. I don't think it's enough to make a Stevens Bowl run, but it should get me into the playoffs.
3. AGD - CPP: 170.48, Last Week: 4th
Every time I look at this team I think it looks perfect, then see a glaring hole at RB2. You guys desperately need to package Marshall or Welker with Richardson and upgrade that spot, then move Tampa Mike into the starting lineup. That's all I have to say about that.
4. Ajay - CPP: 166.03, Last Week: 6th
Tough loss this week, and to be honest I had some big plans for this Danny Cook video, so I hope you don't let us all down. It looks like you stumbled into a starting TE with Fleener now that he's the only guy in town for Luck, and that was really your only week spot. This is a playoff team who will ultimately see its demise due to Vick/Pryor putting up an abysmal week.
5. Weissbard - CPP: 153.38, Last Week: 9th
I have to say, this team is looking better and better. Obviously last week's ridiculousness which included your kicker and DST won't happen again. But I can't see a way that the Broncos score under 35 points, Tony G won't just die already, and if DeMarco is healthy and Sproles is involved with the offense, this team looks pretty good. Unfortunately, DeMarco is bound to get hurt, and the Saints have too many options, so I see a 6-7 season for the Beezle.
6. Bennett - CPP: 150.30, Last Week: 5th
The collapse of this team is so inevitable, it's not even worth discussing. First you had Vereen out, Roddy banged up, and now both Spiller and FJax hurt? You can barely field a full squad. Combine that with DeSean's already-happening regression as well as Kenbrell disappearing from the offense once Amendola and Gronk are back, and I can see an all-time low score in Bennett's future. I guess I discussed it anyway.
7. BAM - CPP: 144.38, Last Week: 7th
So far BAM is the only nickname I've seen, so I'm going with it for now. I was all set to destroy you guys this week for starting both Nate Washington and Donnie Avery, but that somehow worked out. This still stands as the most top-heavy team in the league, but at 3-1, it could very well be a playoff team.
8. Barnard - CPP:143.88, Last Week: 2nd
A week after doing nearly everything right in the CPP-sense, you did pretty much everything wrong. Outside of leaving a record amount of points on your bench, you also have a shocking amount of Pats and ex-Pats on your team. I know you don't know much football outside of them, but I would think that some diversification would help your team's long term potential.
9. Joseph - CPP: 132.20, Last Week: 8th
The top 8 teams all have a decent shot at making the playoffs based on their team's talent. Anyone from here on out will likely need some lucky breaks to jump into the upper echelon of the league. I say this because we all know that Joseph is the self-proclaimed unluckiest fantasy football player ever. While he has caught some bad breaks in the past, hitching his season to the likes of RG3 and Gronk, while only have Malcom Floyd and Clifford Franklin at WR is not the most responsible way to run a team.
10. Alan - CPP: 122.20, Last Week: 13th
Muff Puff making moves! He may have had a rough loss, but he broke 100 for the first time, and that's a good sign for things to come. Despite oddly having an open slot on his roster, I like the way Team Masand is shaping up for the future. Maybe luck would start turning your way if your changed your team name to something like "Maybe I Can Hang."
11. Zacherman - CPP: 111.45, Last Week: 11th
A mysterious yet serious injury apparently has sidelined Z from his usual complaining, and it seems to have spread to his roster. It pains me to say it, but something is off with Ray Rice, so you need to use your WR depth upgrade that running game. I have a feeling we see a trade here in the next week, but will it be enough to overcome a possible 1-4 start?
12. Gutman - CPP: 107.43, Last Week: 12th
I really like the move Gutman made. Nick obviously needed a WR as badly as the Giants need a win, so Gutman sold high on Bell, bought low on Ridley, and got some QB insurance in case Kaepernick actually sucks. It's a pro move by the man who likely has the most trades in FALAFEL history. I still don't see this team going anywhere, but he will at least be respectable from here on out.
13. Donnie - CPP: 102.98, Last Week: 10th
I reeeeally wanted you to take down Z with just 65 points, but Breesus said no. Whether your luck has run out or not, those 3 wins are in the books, and you still get to play Joseph, Alan, Kimmel and Gutman, so if you catch another break or two, this could be an improbable playoff team.
14. Kimmel - CPP: 88.48, Last Week: 14th
The real-fake Kimmel jokes have been flying for weeks, but this is getting ridiculous. With your Packers on a bye last week you had no chance, and you'll likely need to go at least 7-2 the rest of the way to make the playoffs, so it seems like you're in must-win territory. ESPN has you as a 17 point favorite against an AP-less AGD, so the schedule gods have given you your chance.
Seeing as my math was horribly incorrect last week, and I'm short on time, I'm skipping the Division Captain update and getting right to the...
Week 4 CPP Rankings:
1. Esco - CPP: 197.58, Last Week: 1st
It's hard to dispute Esco's dominance so far. His weekly RB2/Flex dilemma will be a moot point if everyone else keeps performing the way they have been. Even if injury strikes one of his starters, he might have the deepest bench in the league. At this rate he will be resting his starters for the playoffs by Week 9.
2. Kumpf - CPP: 172.33, Last Week: 3rd
I finally got out from behind Barnard, and I gotta tell you, it feels great. I have the #1 WR, the #1 TE, the #5 QB... and that's it. I don't think it's enough to make a Stevens Bowl run, but it should get me into the playoffs.
3. AGD - CPP: 170.48, Last Week: 4th
Every time I look at this team I think it looks perfect, then see a glaring hole at RB2. You guys desperately need to package Marshall or Welker with Richardson and upgrade that spot, then move Tampa Mike into the starting lineup. That's all I have to say about that.
4. Ajay - CPP: 166.03, Last Week: 6th
Tough loss this week, and to be honest I had some big plans for this Danny Cook video, so I hope you don't let us all down. It looks like you stumbled into a starting TE with Fleener now that he's the only guy in town for Luck, and that was really your only week spot. This is a playoff team who will ultimately see its demise due to Vick/Pryor putting up an abysmal week.
5. Weissbard - CPP: 153.38, Last Week: 9th
I have to say, this team is looking better and better. Obviously last week's ridiculousness which included your kicker and DST won't happen again. But I can't see a way that the Broncos score under 35 points, Tony G won't just die already, and if DeMarco is healthy and Sproles is involved with the offense, this team looks pretty good. Unfortunately, DeMarco is bound to get hurt, and the Saints have too many options, so I see a 6-7 season for the Beezle.
6. Bennett - CPP: 150.30, Last Week: 5th
The collapse of this team is so inevitable, it's not even worth discussing. First you had Vereen out, Roddy banged up, and now both Spiller and FJax hurt? You can barely field a full squad. Combine that with DeSean's already-happening regression as well as Kenbrell disappearing from the offense once Amendola and Gronk are back, and I can see an all-time low score in Bennett's future. I guess I discussed it anyway.
7. BAM - CPP: 144.38, Last Week: 7th
So far BAM is the only nickname I've seen, so I'm going with it for now. I was all set to destroy you guys this week for starting both Nate Washington and Donnie Avery, but that somehow worked out. This still stands as the most top-heavy team in the league, but at 3-1, it could very well be a playoff team.
8. Barnard - CPP:143.88, Last Week: 2nd
A week after doing nearly everything right in the CPP-sense, you did pretty much everything wrong. Outside of leaving a record amount of points on your bench, you also have a shocking amount of Pats and ex-Pats on your team. I know you don't know much football outside of them, but I would think that some diversification would help your team's long term potential.
9. Joseph - CPP: 132.20, Last Week: 8th
The top 8 teams all have a decent shot at making the playoffs based on their team's talent. Anyone from here on out will likely need some lucky breaks to jump into the upper echelon of the league. I say this because we all know that Joseph is the self-proclaimed unluckiest fantasy football player ever. While he has caught some bad breaks in the past, hitching his season to the likes of RG3 and Gronk, while only have Malcom Floyd and Clifford Franklin at WR is not the most responsible way to run a team.
10. Alan - CPP: 122.20, Last Week: 13th
Muff Puff making moves! He may have had a rough loss, but he broke 100 for the first time, and that's a good sign for things to come. Despite oddly having an open slot on his roster, I like the way Team Masand is shaping up for the future. Maybe luck would start turning your way if your changed your team name to something like "Maybe I Can Hang."
11. Zacherman - CPP: 111.45, Last Week: 11th
A mysterious yet serious injury apparently has sidelined Z from his usual complaining, and it seems to have spread to his roster. It pains me to say it, but something is off with Ray Rice, so you need to use your WR depth upgrade that running game. I have a feeling we see a trade here in the next week, but will it be enough to overcome a possible 1-4 start?
12. Gutman - CPP: 107.43, Last Week: 12th
I really like the move Gutman made. Nick obviously needed a WR as badly as the Giants need a win, so Gutman sold high on Bell, bought low on Ridley, and got some QB insurance in case Kaepernick actually sucks. It's a pro move by the man who likely has the most trades in FALAFEL history. I still don't see this team going anywhere, but he will at least be respectable from here on out.
13. Donnie - CPP: 102.98, Last Week: 10th
I reeeeally wanted you to take down Z with just 65 points, but Breesus said no. Whether your luck has run out or not, those 3 wins are in the books, and you still get to play Joseph, Alan, Kimmel and Gutman, so if you catch another break or two, this could be an improbable playoff team.
14. Kimmel - CPP: 88.48, Last Week: 14th
The real-fake Kimmel jokes have been flying for weeks, but this is getting ridiculous. With your Packers on a bye last week you had no chance, and you'll likely need to go at least 7-2 the rest of the way to make the playoffs, so it seems like you're in must-win territory. ESPN has you as a 17 point favorite against an AP-less AGD, so the schedule gods have given you your chance.
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