What started in Vegas will finish on Christmas weekend. It's been four long months but we're finally here...
Shah! Lutz! It's The Steven's Bowl!
That really never gets old.
This week will be a quick rankings, as I assume most of you aren't at work, or are having parties while you're there. Except Gutman, who is stuck in the backwoods of Tennessee instead of enjoying one of the Crazy Nights.
Bitching About Kicking
My study this year clearly showed that kickers are the least predictable of any of the roster positions, outside of Defense. Defense has a wider range of scoring, so that makes sense. Kickers are just worthless. I won't be at Winter Meetings, but I seriously want to eliminate them next year. They add nothing to the enjoyment of fantasy football and waste $1 of our draft budget.
Consolation Prizes
Esco: I think that nice wad of cash that Barnard is sending you is enough. A championship would have been nice, but ask Zacherman how money can make up for the lack of the Stevens Bowl trophy.
AGD: After another respectable finish, I'm starting to come around on the whole multiple owners thing. So what do you get for the gay couple that has everything? Some "Made for Each Other" gay pillowcases! No need to tell the league which one of you is which puzzle piece.
And now for the main event...
Shah! Lutz! It's The Steven's Bowl!
The Stevens Bowl: Ajay vs. Billy
Quick Summary: I've been over Ajay's team too many times already. Odd draft strategy, didn't quite pan out, but his work on the waiver wire put him in the best situation possible heading into the playoffs. He's caught some breaks, had some nice matchups, and he very well could win six straight to end the year. As for Billy, I am constantly amazed that his team produces every week. Not just Brees and Foster, but everyone. When Harvin gets shut out, Reggie puts up 27. When Lloyd has an off week, Fasano finds the endzone. He doesn't just find ways to win, he finds ways to destroy his opponent. Right now, these really are the two best teams in our league.
QBs: Romo has had a great year, and he can put up stats with the best of them. But the best of them is Brees, and Brees on MNF spells 25+. Romo might keep up, but then again he might not. Edge: Billy
RBs Arian and Reggie might make the most unlikely dominant backfield out there, but they are as reliably great as Brees is. No matter who Ajay plays of Gore/Helu/Spiller, they'll be extremely lucky to match Billy's duo. This is very similar to the QB situation. Edge: Billy
WRs: Though one of them somehow produces week after week, this is Billy's clear weakness. Unfortunately for Mr. Lutz, it also happens to be Ajay's strength. Big Edge: Ajay
TEs: Jermaine Gresham vs. Anthony Fasano is the equivalent of Bennett playing himself. No one would watch and no one wins. Edge: Even
Defenses: Ajay's Broncos have a nice matchup against the turnover prone Bills, but could surrender some garbage time points. I can't possibly think Billy is leaving the Bears D in against the Pack, but as it stands they are his only defense. Edge: Ajay
Owner Awareness: As I've said again and again, this is where Ajay separates himself from his opponents. If Billy replaces that Bears D then he might have a chance, but there's slim pickings out there. Big Edge: Ajay
Final Verdict: This is as close a matchup as we've had in these playoffs. The question is, can Billy's stars put up enough points to compete with Ajay's depth. With the matchup coming down to Brees vs. Roddy on MNF, I say there's gonna be a party in NOLA, even if Billy's the only one attending. Stevens Bowl Champion: Billy
Final consolation prizes and the Stevens Bowl virtual trophy will be handed out next week. I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, or just a solid weekend.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Semi-Final Preview
When any beloved entity loses one of its signature members unexpectedly at the end of a season, it's a tough moment. When that member is vital to the organization's identity and provides its members and followers with both joy and pain, sometimes simultaneously, it's that much harder. Needless to say, this past weekend we all experienced one of those moments. Of course I am talking about the events that went down during the season finale of Boardwalk Empire. I won't say any more for those who haven't seen it yet or inexplicably don't watch the show.
As for our league, well let's just say that every miracle run must come to an end. Now I'm speaking about both our former commissioner, former league-member I guess, and our mostly-automated defending champion.
Bitching About Kicking
QB - Rodgers 18, Vick 11 - Experts 320, Random 178
Difference per game of 10.14
RB - Rice 18, Helu 12 - Experts 228, Random 130
Difference per game of 7
WR - Calvin 3, Walter 13 - Experts 171, Random 123
Difference per game of 3.43
TE - Gronk 28, Graham 5 - Experts 152, Random 73
Difference per game of 7.18
Kicker - Akers 14, Barth 2 - Experts 115, Random 91
Difference per game of 1.71
Defense - Ravens 10, Lions 27 - Experts 138, Random 145
Difference per game of -0.5
Consolation Prizes
Donaldson
Unfortunately I have no idea how much losing affects you. I am willing to bet that less than 1% of your emails to the listserve have referenced fantasy football, whether you include the F8's or not. What I do know is that you suffered an even bigger loss this week in the form of a video being taken off Youtube. While I cannot rectify that situation, I can offer this gif, which is sure to make you smile.
Joseph
If you had missed the playoffs while having the most points scored, I can see wanting to take a year off. But you made the playoffs. Barnard missed thanks to losing both starting RBs in the same week, Zacherman easily has a case for making the playoffs, and I would likely be in your place if a rash of injuries didn't rape my team all year. So although Monday night was a truly excruciating way to end your season, I think this retirement talk is a bit of an overreaction. Your consolation prize is this movie that Larry David directed that no one ever saw.
Semi-Final Preview
Matchup 1 - Esco vs. Ajay
Quick Summary: This is the matchup of the best drafted team against the best managed team. Esco dominated draft day, no question about that. The depth of his team allowed him to make risky trades at will, knowing he had a solid group to fall back on if it didn't work out. Ajay on the other hand drafted a group of under-performing receivers, non-performing backs, and two legitimate starting QBs. He flipped Stafford for Gore, then worked the waiver wire so well that he now has some extremely tough roster decisions to make.
QBs: With Big Ben either out or severely banged up, Esco is forced to start Michael Vick. Yes, forced to start the man Matthew Berry wrote 2,000 words about as the #1 overall pick, and Gutman decided to spend nearly a quarter of his budget on during the draft. Vick faces a Jets D that has been surprisingly vulnerable this year, last week notwithstanding. While he could put up good numbers, Romo gets to feast on a Bucs D that is probably the worst in the league. Edge: Ajay
RBs: Ajay has some decent matchups here, and his backs are pretty much the only options on their respective teams, but he can't compete with Esco's stable of Rice, Bush and Hillis. And for those of you asking yourselves "Wait, didn't you trade him Hillis?," my response is that he would have had Benson who gets to run train on the Rams pathetic excuse for a run defense. Edge: Esco
WRs: This is obviously where Ajay's team shines, but the decision between Austin and Robinson could be the difference between winning and losing. Good luck. Esco if I were you I would want Ben to sit. If he plays, they'll likely attempt to run on San Fran, but if he sits I can easily see Chuck Batch throwing bombs to Wallace and Brown all day. Edge: Ajay
TEs: If Gresham scores, he's startable. If not, you're getting three points. Jimmy Graham is probably Esco's best receiver. Big Edge: Esco
Defense: Ajay is starting a shitty defense against a shitty offense. Esco is starting a great defense against a great offense. Basically a coin flip, but I think Patrick Peterson is due again. Slight Edge: Ajay
Owner Awareness: These are the two owners who have been the most aware all season long. Ajay has managed his team better during the season, but to give him the edge would be an insult to Esco's draft and his lack of needing to manage the team. Edge: Even
Final Verdict: Based on regular season scoring, this should be no contest. But Ajay is peaking at the right time, and Esco had a rough week last week. With Roddy and the Cowboys playing before Sunday, Ajay will likely be up 40+ before Esco even takes the field. But the Wallace/kicker combo on MNF should be enough to have Esco prevail by a slim margin. Winner: Esco
Matchup 2: Billy vs. AGD
Quick Summary: AGD was one of my sleepers during the season, their consistent production was never spectacular but it got the job done. You could always count on them to break 80, but they would rarely break 100. Unless of course they were facing Nick in a win-or-go-home situation. As for Mr. Lutz, he has the benefit of being the newcomer to the league. Two years ago Alan won in his first year, last year Donnie and Yahoo won in their first year. So there is certainly precedent. Does lightening strike thrice?
QBs: Going into the season Brees vs. Eli would have been a no-brainer. And this season Brees has been his usual, dominant self, even cutting back on interceptions. But Eli's play has been truly amazing. He has single handedly won the G-Men a few games, and more surprisingly, hasn't lost them any. Part of this is due to the sudden collapse of their running game, but Eli's play has definitely hit a new level. Even so, he's no Brees. Edge: Billy
RBs: I can't believe this is the case, but Foster/Bush looks poised to put up more than MoJo/Turner/Tolbert. The matchups and current play of the backs make this pretty clear cut actually. MoJo is the wild card here. If he puts up 20+ again, then AGD has a chance, but I can't imagine the Falcons not putting 10 in the box tonight. I can easily see Arian putting up 30 on Carolina, even if they put 10 and Cam in the box. Slight Edge: Billy
WRs: The receivers in this matchup are a pretty pathetic group overall, especially for a Semi-Final matchup. Honestly, I don't think it's even worth discussing. Edge: Even
TEs: This is pretty much the same situation as the receivers, but I think Keller has the much higher ceiling. Edge: AGD
Defense: Bears D has a better matchup, but if they continue to be incapable of moving the ball on offense, Seattle will score some points. The thought of Alex Smith against the Steelers is too appetizing to pass up. Edge: AGD
Owner Awareness: Neither of you made too many moves during the season, which is just not fun. I'll give this one to AGD thanks to their blackmailing trade strategy. Whether it was successful or not, it made the league more entertaining. Edge: AGD
Final Verdict: Looking above, Billy has the edge in QB and RB, which makes sense due to his Brees/Foster dream team. Any advantages AGD has won't be able to compete with that. At least you guys knocked Nick into retirement, like that Bills backer did to Favre last year. Winner: Billy
See you next week for the Stevens Bowl Preview!
As for our league, well let's just say that every miracle run must come to an end. Now I'm speaking about both our former commissioner, former league-member I guess, and our mostly-automated defending champion.
Bitching About Kicking
QB - Rodgers 18, Vick 11 - Experts 320, Random 178
Difference per game of 10.14
RB - Rice 18, Helu 12 - Experts 228, Random 130
Difference per game of 7
WR - Calvin 3, Walter 13 - Experts 171, Random 123
Difference per game of 3.43
TE - Gronk 28, Graham 5 - Experts 152, Random 73
Difference per game of 7.18
Kicker - Akers 14, Barth 2 - Experts 115, Random 91
Difference per game of 1.71
Defense - Ravens 10, Lions 27 - Experts 138, Random 145
Difference per game of -0.5
Consolation Prizes
Donaldson
Unfortunately I have no idea how much losing affects you. I am willing to bet that less than 1% of your emails to the listserve have referenced fantasy football, whether you include the F8's or not. What I do know is that you suffered an even bigger loss this week in the form of a video being taken off Youtube. While I cannot rectify that situation, I can offer this gif, which is sure to make you smile.
Joseph
If you had missed the playoffs while having the most points scored, I can see wanting to take a year off. But you made the playoffs. Barnard missed thanks to losing both starting RBs in the same week, Zacherman easily has a case for making the playoffs, and I would likely be in your place if a rash of injuries didn't rape my team all year. So although Monday night was a truly excruciating way to end your season, I think this retirement talk is a bit of an overreaction. Your consolation prize is this movie that Larry David directed that no one ever saw.
Semi-Final Preview
Matchup 1 - Esco vs. Ajay
Quick Summary: This is the matchup of the best drafted team against the best managed team. Esco dominated draft day, no question about that. The depth of his team allowed him to make risky trades at will, knowing he had a solid group to fall back on if it didn't work out. Ajay on the other hand drafted a group of under-performing receivers, non-performing backs, and two legitimate starting QBs. He flipped Stafford for Gore, then worked the waiver wire so well that he now has some extremely tough roster decisions to make.
QBs: With Big Ben either out or severely banged up, Esco is forced to start Michael Vick. Yes, forced to start the man Matthew Berry wrote 2,000 words about as the #1 overall pick, and Gutman decided to spend nearly a quarter of his budget on during the draft. Vick faces a Jets D that has been surprisingly vulnerable this year, last week notwithstanding. While he could put up good numbers, Romo gets to feast on a Bucs D that is probably the worst in the league. Edge: Ajay
RBs: Ajay has some decent matchups here, and his backs are pretty much the only options on their respective teams, but he can't compete with Esco's stable of Rice, Bush and Hillis. And for those of you asking yourselves "Wait, didn't you trade him Hillis?," my response is that he would have had Benson who gets to run train on the Rams pathetic excuse for a run defense. Edge: Esco
WRs: This is obviously where Ajay's team shines, but the decision between Austin and Robinson could be the difference between winning and losing. Good luck. Esco if I were you I would want Ben to sit. If he plays, they'll likely attempt to run on San Fran, but if he sits I can easily see Chuck Batch throwing bombs to Wallace and Brown all day. Edge: Ajay
TEs: If Gresham scores, he's startable. If not, you're getting three points. Jimmy Graham is probably Esco's best receiver. Big Edge: Esco
Defense: Ajay is starting a shitty defense against a shitty offense. Esco is starting a great defense against a great offense. Basically a coin flip, but I think Patrick Peterson is due again. Slight Edge: Ajay
Owner Awareness: These are the two owners who have been the most aware all season long. Ajay has managed his team better during the season, but to give him the edge would be an insult to Esco's draft and his lack of needing to manage the team. Edge: Even
Final Verdict: Based on regular season scoring, this should be no contest. But Ajay is peaking at the right time, and Esco had a rough week last week. With Roddy and the Cowboys playing before Sunday, Ajay will likely be up 40+ before Esco even takes the field. But the Wallace/kicker combo on MNF should be enough to have Esco prevail by a slim margin. Winner: Esco
Matchup 2: Billy vs. AGD
Quick Summary: AGD was one of my sleepers during the season, their consistent production was never spectacular but it got the job done. You could always count on them to break 80, but they would rarely break 100. Unless of course they were facing Nick in a win-or-go-home situation. As for Mr. Lutz, he has the benefit of being the newcomer to the league. Two years ago Alan won in his first year, last year Donnie and Yahoo won in their first year. So there is certainly precedent. Does lightening strike thrice?
QBs: Going into the season Brees vs. Eli would have been a no-brainer. And this season Brees has been his usual, dominant self, even cutting back on interceptions. But Eli's play has been truly amazing. He has single handedly won the G-Men a few games, and more surprisingly, hasn't lost them any. Part of this is due to the sudden collapse of their running game, but Eli's play has definitely hit a new level. Even so, he's no Brees. Edge: Billy
RBs: I can't believe this is the case, but Foster/Bush looks poised to put up more than MoJo/Turner/Tolbert. The matchups and current play of the backs make this pretty clear cut actually. MoJo is the wild card here. If he puts up 20+ again, then AGD has a chance, but I can't imagine the Falcons not putting 10 in the box tonight. I can easily see Arian putting up 30 on Carolina, even if they put 10 and Cam in the box. Slight Edge: Billy
WRs: The receivers in this matchup are a pretty pathetic group overall, especially for a Semi-Final matchup. Honestly, I don't think it's even worth discussing. Edge: Even
TEs: This is pretty much the same situation as the receivers, but I think Keller has the much higher ceiling. Edge: AGD
Defense: Bears D has a better matchup, but if they continue to be incapable of moving the ball on offense, Seattle will score some points. The thought of Alex Smith against the Steelers is too appetizing to pass up. Edge: AGD
Owner Awareness: Neither of you made too many moves during the season, which is just not fun. I'll give this one to AGD thanks to their blackmailing trade strategy. Whether it was successful or not, it made the league more entertaining. Edge: AGD
Final Verdict: Looking above, Billy has the edge in QB and RB, which makes sense due to his Brees/Foster dream team. Any advantages AGD has won't be able to compete with that. At least you guys knocked Nick into retirement, like that Bills backer did to Favre last year. Winner: Billy
See you next week for the Stevens Bowl Preview!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Quarterfinal Preview
Honestly, I've been in a funk all week since that Sunday night debacle. I owe Kevin Smith one of my wins, but his inability to stay on the field kept me out of the playoffs. That and Jason Hanson's inability to make field goals. Kickers and injuries, who would have thought?
We'll get to the Final 2011 CPP Rankings, complete with consolation prizes, and the Quarterfinal Preview, but first...
Bitching About Kicking
I could go on a long rant about Jason Hanson, complete with MmmBop references, but I'll just stick to the normal stuff.
QB - Rodgers 32, Josh Johnson 16 - Experts 302, Random 167
Difference per game of 10.38
RB - Rice 30, Spiller 15 - Experts 210, Random 118
Difference per game of 7.08
WR - Calvin 6, Tampa Mike 9 - Experts 168, Random 110
Difference per game of 5.27
TE - Gronk 24, Witten 4 - Experts 124, Random 68
Difference per game of 5.09
K - Kasay 7, Akers 14 - Experts 101, Random 89
Difference per game of 1.09
Defense - 49ers 18, Eagles 3
Difference per game of 0.91
Final 2011 CPP Rankings
1. Esco - CPP: 313.48 - Last Week: 1st
2. Joseph - CPP: 299.51 - Last Week: 2nd
3. Billy - CPP: 284.80 - Last Week: 3rd
4. Zacherman - CPP: 269.37 - Last Week: 4th
5. AGD - CPP: 261.50 - Last Week: 7th
6. Kumpf - CPP: 257.78 - Last Week: 5th
7. Barnard - CPP: 242.81 - Last Week: 6th
8. Kimmel - CPP: 222.35 - Last Week: 8th
9. Weissbard - CPP: 216.06 - Last Week: 10th
10. Ajay - CPP: 214.31 - Last Week: 9th
11. Autodraft - CPP: 196.79 - Last Week: 11th
12. Alan - CPP: 182.34 - Last Week: 12th
13. Gutman - CPP: 176.14 - Last Week: 14th
And the James Barnard Memorial Last Place CPP Award goes to...
14. Bennett - CPP: 173.09 - Last Week: 13th
In the model of Barnard and Long, Bennett you are a true embarrassment to yourself, your family, and this league.
Consolation Prizes
Barnard
Your consolation are these plastic bed sheets. Barnard is coming down to Austin this weekend, and while he will be sleeping on an air mattress, I still prefer he does not soil it. Anyone else that has been eliminated is also welcome. Even you Bennett.
Kumpf
While I've all but given up hope on my "Eliminate Kickers" campaign, I think I can fix my other problem: injuries. I don't need an MRI, I need something better. I need The Rehabilitator. Kimmel's injuries may have been more high-profile, and Zacherman's starters may have missed more time, but mine were the most widespread. My day one starting lineup was Schaub, McCoy, Best, Jennings, Manningham, Moss and Clark. Only McCoy and Jennings missed less than 4 games. This is me justifying why I'm the only person to be in the league all three years who has not made the playoffs.
Zacherman
Your consolation prize is a Killer Cam jersey. I'll admit you were right about him. Unfortunately a combination of bad injury luck, and bad matchup luck kept you out of the playoffs. I almost feel bad for you. But then again you made a lot of money last year by losing in the championship.
Weissbard
You had the most inconsistent season of anyone this year or any year. As I've said before, the gap between your highest and lowest scores was 94 points. In honor of that, your prize is one of the signature games of 1994, Earthworm Jim.
Quarterfinal Preview
With Esco and Billy on byes, we have two matchups to discuss this week.
Matchup 1: Ajay vs. Donnie
Quick Summary: These two teams only scored in the top 7 of a given week 10 times (5 each), which means combined they have the same number of "deserved" wins as Esco, Joseph and Billy (and less than non-playoff teams Kumpf, Zacherman, Barnard and Kimmel). But they are in the playoffs nonetheless. And one of them will move on to lose to Esco in the Semi-Finals, but still get a shot at third place.
QBs: Romo hasn't necessarily been consistent, and he will be chased around by the G-Men pass rush all night, but he is a legit fantasy starter. Josh Freeman is probably a borderline starter when he's healthy, but he is not. If he plays he gets a nice matchup, but if he doesn't you're forced to start Kolb, who wasn't even good enough to stay on Bennett's team. Big Edge: Ajay
RBs: We all know how pitiful Donnie's RB situation is (that's what happens when you autodraft), but Ajay doesn't get enough credit for blocking a few of Donnie's presumed waiver claims. Spiller, Gerheart, Ogbonnaya and Hardesty would all have been upgrades for Donnie, but Ajay has hoarded them. Whether he starts the correct ones or not is irrelevant, as Gore and Helu should blow Tate and Grant out of the water. Big Edge: Ajay
WRs: After the draft I thought Ajay had the best group of receivers in the league by far. As it turned out, that honor belonged to the Yahoo autodraft, who picked up Calvin, Welker, Smith 1.0, and AJ Green. And despite trading Smith and consistently benching Green for Tony Gonzalez, that edge remains over Ajay's solid, yet under-producing receivers. Edge: Donnie
TEs: This has been Donnie's hallmark all year for some reason. Both Finley and Gonzo are better than Gresham, and while only one of them should be starting, even if they both do it somehow gets Donnie wins. Big Edge: Donnie
D/ST: The Broncos D has come on like no other unit over the course of the season. And instead of having to deal with Cutler and Forte this week, they get Hanie and Barber. Meanwhile, the Giants D has combined to -1 over the past 2 weeks. Edge: Ajay
Owner Awareness: This one isn't close. Some of it Donnie couldn't control; his draft technical difficulties, his waiver position, etc. But Ajay has mastered our flawed waiver wire like no one else, and that is why he's in the playoffs and other, better teams are not. Big Edge: Ajay
Final Verdict: Based on everything you read above, it would seem Ajay will run away with it. But he has some tough roster choices to make, and against Donnie teams tend to make the wrong ones. Combine that with the inevitable 20+ point performances by Calvin and Welker, and this one will be close. But I'll never pick a team that Yahoo drafted. Winner: Ajay
Matchup 2: AGD vs. Joseph
Quick Summary: Thanks to AGD not following my advice, they draw the Joseph juggernaut in the first round instead of feasting on Ajay or Donnie. I realize you need to make the playoffs to have a chance, but seeing how Joseph's team is playing, I have as good a chance at winning the Stevens Bowl as you do.
QBs: Hey Rodgers! Discount Double-Check! Big Edge: Joseph
RBs: Over the course of the year, MJD, Turner and Tolbert were a more consistent group than CJ, Green and Law Firm. But right now? Nick's group picked the right time to peak. I still say it's close, but Joseph's crew could put up 50 easily (or completely no-show). Slight Edge: Joseph
WRs: I'm not a fan of either of your WR duos. Jordy has been sick this year, but he's not the most reliable performer week to week. The same can be said of Boldin, and his team just rides Ray Rice. AGD could use a healthy Maclin this week, but even if he does play he likely is a risky start. If I had to choose one I guess it's Nick. Slight Edge: Joseph
TEs: Gronkowski is by far the best receiver in this matchup.By far. Big Edge: Joseph
D/ST: As I write this, it's looking like the Steelers will put up about 10, which is solid. Seattle's D is surprisingly good and gets a sweet matchup, but by MNF it won't matter anyway. Edge: AGD
Final Verdict: All year I've said AGD was a playoff team, and I was right. But this is where the road ends for them. Winner: Joseph
We'll get to the Final 2011 CPP Rankings, complete with consolation prizes, and the Quarterfinal Preview, but first...
Bitching About Kicking
I could go on a long rant about Jason Hanson, complete with MmmBop references, but I'll just stick to the normal stuff.
QB - Rodgers 32, Josh Johnson 16 - Experts 302, Random 167
Difference per game of 10.38
RB - Rice 30, Spiller 15 - Experts 210, Random 118
Difference per game of 7.08
WR - Calvin 6, Tampa Mike 9 - Experts 168, Random 110
Difference per game of 5.27
TE - Gronk 24, Witten 4 - Experts 124, Random 68
Difference per game of 5.09
K - Kasay 7, Akers 14 - Experts 101, Random 89
Difference per game of 1.09
Defense - 49ers 18, Eagles 3
Difference per game of 0.91
Final 2011 CPP Rankings
1. Esco - CPP: 313.48 - Last Week: 1st
2. Joseph - CPP: 299.51 - Last Week: 2nd
3. Billy - CPP: 284.80 - Last Week: 3rd
4. Zacherman - CPP: 269.37 - Last Week: 4th
5. AGD - CPP: 261.50 - Last Week: 7th
6. Kumpf - CPP: 257.78 - Last Week: 5th
7. Barnard - CPP: 242.81 - Last Week: 6th
8. Kimmel - CPP: 222.35 - Last Week: 8th
9. Weissbard - CPP: 216.06 - Last Week: 10th
10. Ajay - CPP: 214.31 - Last Week: 9th
11. Autodraft - CPP: 196.79 - Last Week: 11th
12. Alan - CPP: 182.34 - Last Week: 12th
13. Gutman - CPP: 176.14 - Last Week: 14th
And the James Barnard Memorial Last Place CPP Award goes to...
14. Bennett - CPP: 173.09 - Last Week: 13th
In the model of Barnard and Long, Bennett you are a true embarrassment to yourself, your family, and this league.
Consolation Prizes
Barnard
Your consolation are these plastic bed sheets. Barnard is coming down to Austin this weekend, and while he will be sleeping on an air mattress, I still prefer he does not soil it. Anyone else that has been eliminated is also welcome. Even you Bennett.
Kumpf
While I've all but given up hope on my "Eliminate Kickers" campaign, I think I can fix my other problem: injuries. I don't need an MRI, I need something better. I need The Rehabilitator. Kimmel's injuries may have been more high-profile, and Zacherman's starters may have missed more time, but mine were the most widespread. My day one starting lineup was Schaub, McCoy, Best, Jennings, Manningham, Moss and Clark. Only McCoy and Jennings missed less than 4 games. This is me justifying why I'm the only person to be in the league all three years who has not made the playoffs.
Zacherman
Your consolation prize is a Killer Cam jersey. I'll admit you were right about him. Unfortunately a combination of bad injury luck, and bad matchup luck kept you out of the playoffs. I almost feel bad for you. But then again you made a lot of money last year by losing in the championship.
Weissbard
You had the most inconsistent season of anyone this year or any year. As I've said before, the gap between your highest and lowest scores was 94 points. In honor of that, your prize is one of the signature games of 1994, Earthworm Jim.
Quarterfinal Preview
With Esco and Billy on byes, we have two matchups to discuss this week.
Matchup 1: Ajay vs. Donnie
Quick Summary: These two teams only scored in the top 7 of a given week 10 times (5 each), which means combined they have the same number of "deserved" wins as Esco, Joseph and Billy (and less than non-playoff teams Kumpf, Zacherman, Barnard and Kimmel). But they are in the playoffs nonetheless. And one of them will move on to lose to Esco in the Semi-Finals, but still get a shot at third place.
QBs: Romo hasn't necessarily been consistent, and he will be chased around by the G-Men pass rush all night, but he is a legit fantasy starter. Josh Freeman is probably a borderline starter when he's healthy, but he is not. If he plays he gets a nice matchup, but if he doesn't you're forced to start Kolb, who wasn't even good enough to stay on Bennett's team. Big Edge: Ajay
RBs: We all know how pitiful Donnie's RB situation is (that's what happens when you autodraft), but Ajay doesn't get enough credit for blocking a few of Donnie's presumed waiver claims. Spiller, Gerheart, Ogbonnaya and Hardesty would all have been upgrades for Donnie, but Ajay has hoarded them. Whether he starts the correct ones or not is irrelevant, as Gore and Helu should blow Tate and Grant out of the water. Big Edge: Ajay
WRs: After the draft I thought Ajay had the best group of receivers in the league by far. As it turned out, that honor belonged to the Yahoo autodraft, who picked up Calvin, Welker, Smith 1.0, and AJ Green. And despite trading Smith and consistently benching Green for Tony Gonzalez, that edge remains over Ajay's solid, yet under-producing receivers. Edge: Donnie
TEs: This has been Donnie's hallmark all year for some reason. Both Finley and Gonzo are better than Gresham, and while only one of them should be starting, even if they both do it somehow gets Donnie wins. Big Edge: Donnie
D/ST: The Broncos D has come on like no other unit over the course of the season. And instead of having to deal with Cutler and Forte this week, they get Hanie and Barber. Meanwhile, the Giants D has combined to -1 over the past 2 weeks. Edge: Ajay
Owner Awareness: This one isn't close. Some of it Donnie couldn't control; his draft technical difficulties, his waiver position, etc. But Ajay has mastered our flawed waiver wire like no one else, and that is why he's in the playoffs and other, better teams are not. Big Edge: Ajay
Final Verdict: Based on everything you read above, it would seem Ajay will run away with it. But he has some tough roster choices to make, and against Donnie teams tend to make the wrong ones. Combine that with the inevitable 20+ point performances by Calvin and Welker, and this one will be close. But I'll never pick a team that Yahoo drafted. Winner: Ajay
Matchup 2: AGD vs. Joseph
Quick Summary: Thanks to AGD not following my advice, they draw the Joseph juggernaut in the first round instead of feasting on Ajay or Donnie. I realize you need to make the playoffs to have a chance, but seeing how Joseph's team is playing, I have as good a chance at winning the Stevens Bowl as you do.
QBs: Hey Rodgers! Discount Double-Check! Big Edge: Joseph
RBs: Over the course of the year, MJD, Turner and Tolbert were a more consistent group than CJ, Green and Law Firm. But right now? Nick's group picked the right time to peak. I still say it's close, but Joseph's crew could put up 50 easily (or completely no-show). Slight Edge: Joseph
WRs: I'm not a fan of either of your WR duos. Jordy has been sick this year, but he's not the most reliable performer week to week. The same can be said of Boldin, and his team just rides Ray Rice. AGD could use a healthy Maclin this week, but even if he does play he likely is a risky start. If I had to choose one I guess it's Nick. Slight Edge: Joseph
TEs: Gronkowski is by far the best receiver in this matchup.By far. Big Edge: Joseph
D/ST: As I write this, it's looking like the Steelers will put up about 10, which is solid. Seattle's D is surprisingly good and gets a sweet matchup, but by MNF it won't matter anyway. Edge: AGD
Final Verdict: All year I've said AGD was a playoff team, and I was right. But this is where the road ends for them. Winner: Joseph
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