Well that’s a wrap. The playoffs are set, and the 2012
version of the CPP is complete. We have an unprecedented drop in
season-to-season ranks, as well as the tightest finish ever at the top. Here
are the final rankings:
1.
Joseph – CPP: 374.51, Last Week: 2nd
2.
Kumpf – CPP: 373.81, Last Week: 1st
3.
Esco – CPP: 339.46, Last Week: 3rd
4.
AGD – CPP: 315.33, Last Week: 4th
5.
Kimmel – CPP: 288.18, Last Week: 5th
6.
Bennett – CPP: 278.86, Last Week: 6th
7.
Ajay – CPP: 275.43, Last Week: 7th
8.
Zacherman – CPP: 247.63, Last Week: 8th
9.
Alan – CPP: 244.61, Last Week: 11th
10.
Barnard – CPP: 244.01, Last Week: 10th
11.
Gutman – CPP: 242.48, Last Week: 9th
12.
Weissbard – CPP: 205.74, Last Week: 12th
13.
Donnie – CPP: 196.41, Last Week: 13th
14.
Billy – CPP: 166.97, Last Week: 14th
I have some plans to further revamp the CPP next year,
removing roster adds as a factor and replacing it with some sort of bid
accuracy in the Waiver Auctions, so if you have any other ideas to improve this
nearly-perfect metric let me know.
Here are some 2012 CPP fun facts:
·
Barnard had the highest scoring week with 141.3,
Weissbard had the lowest score with 37.8
·
AGD had the best lineup management, leaving only
9.38 PPG on the bench, Zacherman had the worst, leaving 15.42 PPG on the bench
·
Weissbard had the most injury-affected starters
with 53.63 Injury Points, both Nick and Donnie were completely unaffected by
injuries to starters
·
Barnard, Gutman and Kumpf led the league with 4
trades, Ajay and Donnie made none
·
In terms of Total Ranking Points (a measure of
weekly consistency), Joseph led the way with 137, and Billy was last with 61
·
If we used Victory Points (if you’re in the top
7 in scoring for a week, you get a win), Nick was in first with 11 wins, and
Billy was last with 2
·
Billy becomes the first team ever to win both
the Stevens Bowl and the James Barnard Last Place CPP award, and he did it in
consecutive seasons
Consolation Prizes
Gutman
In case it’s not already obvious, your consolation prize is
that I’m not calling you New Gutman anymore. Between your late-season nosedive
due to a series of terrible trades, and
this
picture, I think it’s safe to say that Old Gutman is still alive and well.
You better fucking be at the draft next year or you’re dead to me.
Donaldson
I would say that you had solid results in the first season
that you controlled by yourself from start to finish. It took all of us at
least a year to figure out the Auction Draft, so your accidental pick of
Fitzgerald was understandable, if not expected. Your team lacked a no-doubt QB,
and beyond Arian, every starting spot was a decision every week, which just
sucks for your peace of mind. And Carmenjello goat-fucked you. Your consolation
prize should help your results for next:
A
Strategy Guide For Free Agent Auctions. It’s one thing to hoard your Free
Agent dollars in case there’s a huge injury, but it’s a whole different thing
to go the entire season without spending $1. You were a win or two away from
the playoffs, and I refuse to believe that spending some of that money wouldn’t
have gotten you closer.
Zacherman
It’s been a weird year for you Z. You weren’t really in
playoff contention from the start, we didn’t hear any trademark Zacherman
rants, and you were oddly quiet about the real NFL this year. Maybe it was
because you were searching online for your consolation prize, an
authentic
Greg McElroy jersey! As a Dolphins fan, I’ve witnessed some tragedies at QB
in the last decade, but I don’t think I’ve seen anything as simultaneously
terrible and hilarious at the same time as the 2012 Jets (no offense to Cleo Lemon). I’m sure you
can’t wait to J-E-T-S…Just End The Season!
Barnard
I’ve been waiting all season for you to be eliminated for a
variety of reasons. One of them was to hand out your consolation prize, an
autographed
picture of Gronk! His injury may have torpedoed your season, but look on
the bright side: at least it forced you to trade me DMC who will hopefully push
my team to the Stevens Bowl.
Kimmel
I honestly feel for you. You missed the playoffs by a total
of 6.4 points over the course of the entire season. There are literally a
million ways you could have made up those points, but one of them may have been
to trade one of your RBs for a legit WR before Week 11. You ended up trading
A-Rod, and while it actually panned out for you, it was still a dumbass move in my
opinion. Regardless, you miss the
playoffs despite being in the CPP top 5, which is never fun. Your consolation
prize is something you could have used earlier this year, a
little
bit of Luck.
Now on to the actual contenders. Nick and I have
well-deserved byes this week. I will be mourning the loss of Percy Harvin for
the season, while Nick will pray that both of his injured wideouts get healthy
before the semi-finals.
Quarterfinal Preview
As is tradition, I will now break down the Quarterfinal
matchups Dr. Z style:
Matchup 1: 3) Esco
vs. 6) AGD
Quarterbacks
The only two elite QBs this year that came at a bargain were
RG3 and Peyton, so it’s fitting that they meet in the playoffs. As Peyton
passes down his crown of “Most Commercials Per NFL Game” to Sir Robert, he may
also realize that Griffin has nearly 30 fantasy points more on the season. Both of these guys are unquestionably awesome, so it comes down to the matchup.
RG3 gets a beaten up Ravens team, but Ray Lewis started practicing again this
week, so they’ll be fired up if nothing else. Peyton gets a miserable Raiders
defense that will only slow him down if Denver stops throwing due to a blowout.
Slight Edge: AGD
Runningbacks
This is where the matchup will be decided: Murray/S-Jax/Sproles
vs. Charles/Forte/Knowshon. First of all, I want to thank Billy’s drinking
problem for Esco even being in a position to start Sproles. He should be on my
fucking roster, but I’ll let that one drop for now. Of all of these guys, Charles
has the highest ceiling, but a floor that’s lower than Murry, Jackson and
Forte. Knowson and Sproles don’t excite me, but as I said earlier, there is a
very good chance that Denver is running out the clock by halftime. That and the
explosiveness of Charles has me leaning towards the twins.
Slight Edge: AGD
Wide Receivers/Tight
End
Esco gets royally fucked if Big Ben can’t play and he has to
bench Wallace, but that’s how it goes. Even if Wallace had Joe Mantegna
throwing him the ball, Esco’s receivers aren’t coming close to AGD’s tandem of
Demaryius and Calvin. That is the single biggest advantage at any position in
the league, aside from possibly Nick’s RBs. At TE, Gresham has looked extremely
legit lately, with 7 or more in his last 5 games. Brandon Myers came from
nowhere this year, and the Raiders will have to pass against Denver, but he’s
been so boom-or-bust that I can’t give Esco a clear edge here.
Big Edge: AGD
Defense
It’s all about the matchups here, and Esco’s Seahawks D/ST
is facing a team that just announced that John Skelton was starting like it was
a good thing. Even if Cam implodes against Atlanta (he put up 28 last time),
the Falcons can’t hope to keep up with Seattle.
Big Edge: Esco
CPP
In close matchups, it’s often useful to see if the CPP likes
one team significantly more than the other. That doesn’t really help in this
case, as you two finished extremely close, actually coming in at 1-2 in terms
of starting lineup accuracy. AGD has put up a couple terrible scores this year,
so even if there is a 5% possibility of that, I gotta give this to Esco.
Slight Edge: Esco
Verdict
If Big Ben plays and Esco can start Mike Wallace over Chris
Givens or Sproles, I would say that this matchup is 50/50. But as it stands
now, I think AGD will get nearly 70 points tonight, and that is just too big of
a deficit to overcome, even for RG3.
Winner: AGD
Matchup 2: 4) Ajay
vs. 5) Bennett
Quarterbacks
The Battle of the NFC South QBs Who Were Terribly
Disappointing in Week 13! I’m shocked and a little impressed that Bennett still
made the playoffs despite that disaster from Brees. The good news is that Brees
will be motivated to start a new TD streak. The bad news is that he gets a
fired-up Giants D-Line that is angry after a week of chasing RG3 around. Brees
will bounce back, but not quite as much as Matty Ice, who should shred that
Panthers D.
Slight Edge: Ajay
Runningbacks
Ajay has Adrian Peterson. That’s all the matters. After him
there is Reggie Bush, Fred Jackson, Shonn Greene, Danny Woodhead, and someone
named Montell Owens. I would say Ajay should start Rudolph, Quizz, DHB, or
Amendola if he’s healthy over Woodhead, and Bennett should start Britt or
Golden Tate over Owens, but I’m calling it like they have their lineups right now.
Again, Ajay has Adrian Peterson.
Big Edge: Ajay
Wide Receivers/Tight
End
The Green/Dez/Heath trio for Bennett is shockingly dominant,
as all three of them rank in the top 6 at their positions for the year. Ajay is
no slouch himself with his Latino-sounding receivers, and with Stokely out
again, Tamme becomes a great play this week. This one is close, but Dez’s rise
has coincided with Cruz’s fall, so Bennett gets the edge here.
Slight Edge: Bennett
Defense
Nothing great here. Ajay currently has Houston going against
the Pats in New England and Bennett has San Diego against a potentially
Ben-less Steelers. If Ben is in fact out, Bennett gets the edge, but I’m
calling it even because he still has the Eagles D on his roster and they have
let up over 31 points per game in their last seven games, with exactly 3
turnovers forced.
Edge: Even
CPP
This one is even closer than Esco/AGD as these two are only
separated by 3 CPP points. Bennett manages his lineup a little better than
Ajay, and he’s had more consistent performance over the course of the season,
so I’m going with him.
Slight Edge: Bennett
Verdict
Considering Bennett is involved, this one is closer than it
might seem. If Amendola plays, Ajay can sit Woodhead and should have a double
digit victory. If he’s out, then it’s close, but Brown Man X still gets it
done.
Winner: Ajay
