Week 10 Rankings

And we’re back!

Apologies for the lack of rankings last week, moving halfway across the country was a bit more involved than I had initially thought. Since the last rankings, we’ve seen our lone undefeated team fall (twice), three teams change their names, and the league break into haves and have-nots. With four more regular season weeks, only 4 of our 14 teams sit within a game of .500. That leaves us with 5 teams on the fast track to the playoffs, and 5 teams who are dreaming about next year.

One of those teams is manned by my CPP counterpart and FALAFEL Draft Planner, Mr. Adam Gutman. While Gutguy has had a rough week with the Eagles losing, his team scoring a measly 58 points, and Penn State turning from Linebacker U to a national black eye, I think we need to start planning next year’s draft. I know a few locations have been thrown around, like Chicago, Miami or Austin, but I think the front-runner should be New Orleans. On my road trip I was there for Halloween, and it was unreal. Granted, like 10 people were shot on Bourbon Street shortly after I left, I still think it would be an amazing spot. Billy clearly knows more than I do, and has been outspoken for NOLA all year, but I think these talks should start soon.

Bitching About Kicking
Words can’t express how happy I am that Nick lost to Alan by 1 point thanks to Robbie Gould throwing up 14 on MNF. You can’t script something better than that. Ironically enough, I broke my own rule and was carrying two kickers last week (to my own detriment). Let’s check the updated stats on which positions are “predictable” and which ones are not.

QB – Rodgers 30, Rodgers 30 – Experts 198, Random 122
Difference per game of 8.44
RB – Arian 20, Law Firm 6 – Experts 130, Random 71
Difference per game of 6.56
WR – Jennings 10, Lloyd 8 – Experts138 , Random 63
Difference per game of 8.33
TE – Graham 7, Jared Cook 2 – Experts 65, Random 46
Difference per game of 2.11
K – Dan Bailey 12, Matt Bryant 7 – Experts 66, Random 54
Difference per game of 1.33
DEF – Ravens 6, Falcons 13 – Experts 80, Random 96
Difference per game of -1.78

Week 10 Rankings
This week will be yet another gimmick, but one that could help determine who wins the league. With the trade deadline coming up on November 19th, this is the Second Annual Mock Trade Rankings!

1. Billy – CPP: 141.17 - Two Weeks Ago: 2nd
No one in the league is enjoying as much of a hot streak as Billy. A healthy Arian, rejuvenated Reggie, and the always excellent Brees have this team thinking playoffs. We have an interesting matchup this week, and if it comes down to my Packers vs. your Viking on MNF, I think I put an end to your streak.
Needs: #1 WR, RB depth (I’m not buying Bush or LT)
Has: WR depth

2. Esco – CPP: 139.92 - Two Weeks Ago: 1st
As much as Billy has succeeded without the rankings, Esco has failed. Without me building him up for the last two weeks, his self-esteem (and his team’s performance) has suffered. Oddly enough, last week in your rankings spot I was going to put a link to the audio of “Down goes Frazier!” But at this point I think that would be like me linking a video of Barnard blowing little boys in the Penn State shower. This week you get an Alan team coming off an impressive, yet lucky, win over Nick. If we’ve learned anything in this league, it’s that you can never look past a Masand team.
Needs: WR depth
Has: QB and RB depth

3. Autodraft – CPP: 131.96 - Two Weeks Ago: 5th
Of course you upset Esco due to Ben Things I Tate About You. Two weeks ago, I thought your luck was turning, but you’ve proven again and again that you will not be denied. You have an interesting dilemma this week. If Bradshaw plays, the G-Men have a much better chance of beating the Niners, but if he doesn’t play, you have a much better chance of beating Z. Somehow I think you’ll end up beating Z without Bradshaw as Eli defies logic and plays well again.
Needs: RB, QB upgrade
Has: WR, TE

4. Barnard – CPP: 130.07 - Two Weeks Ago: 6th
Well you beat me once again. I really don’t see a championship team with you, but it’s definitely a playoff team. You may be in the best position to make a trade of anyone, with your depth at RB. The question is, is it worth it to break up the AP/FJax/SJax trio in order to upgrade your QB or WRs.
Needs: WR, QB upgrade
Has: RB

5. AGD – CPP: 128.92 - Two Weeks Ago: 9th
One week after our trade, it looked like a waste of time. Hillis and Tolbert didn’t play, and Cadillac was immediately cut from my squad. Two weeks after our trade, it looks like you got the best of me. Hillis is out indefinitely, Mathews is a bitch, and Tolbert looks healthy and hungry. I think this team makes the playoffs.
Needs: WR upgrade, TE
Has: RB

6. Zacherman – CPP: 125.77 - Two Weeks Ago: 3rd
After 4 straight wins, Z got robbed by Torrey Smith’s big game. No one is shedding any tears, and the upcoming schedule looks like Z will have a hard time getting into the playoffs. Your future success or failure will likely come down to the health of Bradshaw and Andre, neither of which I’d be willing to stake my season on.
Needs: His team to get healthy, RB depth
Has: WR depth

7. Weissbard – CPP: 120.62 - Two Weeks Ago: 10th
We’ll see how much the name change helps you. After a thrilling upset of Zacherman, you sit as the only 4-5 team in the league. The upcoming schedule is fairly easy for you, so 7-6 is absolutely within reach. The question is, will that be enough for the playoffs?
Needs: RB upgrade
Has: Two top WRs

8. Kumpf – CPP: 115.12 - Two Weeks Ago: 4th
I currently sit fourth in the standings at 6-3. My three losses are to the teams ranked 1-3. If I lose to Billy, I’ll likely fall to fifth, having lost only to the top 4 teams. I have no idea what my team’s true rank is, but I do know that a Best/Hillis combo sounds a lot better than Keiland Williams/Chris Ivory.
Needs: My team to get healthy, WR depth
Has: RB depth (if they ‘re healthy)

9. Joseph – CPP: 109.67 - Two Weeks Ago: 7th
I know you’re well aware of this, but let me point it out to the rest of the league: Nick has the third most points of anyone in the league, yet sits at 3-6, and will need a miracle to make the playoffs. There are a few possible reasons for this. Maybe it’s your hilarious yet wildly offensive new team name. Maybe it’s because you put us in commissioner purgatory by stepping down. Or maybe it’s just bad luck. Either way, you’re probably the only Rodgers-led team in the world who won’t make the playoffs.
Needs: A top WR
Has: RB depth

10. Alan – CPP: 102.62 - Two Weeks Ago: 12th
Alan pulls off an improbable win thanks to his kicker and multiple Saints RBs. Say what you will about the trades he’s made thus far (and I have), but the Muffin Man will not stop trying. One player I want you to trade is Tebow. You would never start him over Rivers (provided last week means he has righted the ship), but he would be an interesting option for a team like Barnard’s or Donnie’s. I just love having Tebow in the NFL and it’s about time he got some PT in the FALAFEL.
Needs: RB
Has: WR depth, Tebow

11. Kimmel – CPP: 101.19 - Two Weeks Ago: 11th
Big win over Bennett last week. With a loss, you may have fallen all the way to last place in these rankings, a spot that has been permanently reserved for Gutman and Bennett from here on out. Your schedule going forward is pretty rough, so I’d be shocked if you made the playoffs, but you’ve put up a hell of a fight after losing Peyton and Britt. Unfortunately, your roster doesn’t really have much trade value so this column won’t help you too much.
Needs: WR upgrade, RB upgrade
Has: Weak depth at RB and WR

12. Ajay – CPP: 96.59 - Two Weeks Ago: 8th
When I look at your team, I see a great roster that has under-produced. While you are over .500, you barely have more points than Gutman, and have won weeks with scores of 77, 68 and 61. So you are an under-producing team who has also gotten extremely lucky. One or both of these things will even out over time, so I can see you finishing 9-4 or 5-8.
Needs: TE, your team to start playing like they can
Has: WR

13. Gutman – CPP: 67.88 - Two Weeks Ago: 14th
As if things couldn’t get any worse for you these past two weeks, the one week you actually win a game, there’s no rankings. The player who has the most TDs on your team is Scott Chandler, and he’s only been thrown to 21 times all year. Your only really valuable players are DMC, who’s hurt, and Murray, whose value is questionable when Felix gets back. At this point you’re just living to play spoiler.
Needs: QB, WR
Has: RB

14. Bennett – CPP: 47.74 - Two Weeks Ago: 13th
8 straight losses. Wow. You just passed Barnard’s 2009 7-game losing streak for the second-worst stretch in our league’s history. The only one worse than you was Long’s epic 10-game losing streak last year, and we saw how that worked out. The next two weeks you get Barnard and then myself, so you could easily match that number. I’m not saying we should kick you out of the league, I just think there should be some sort of punishment for this futility.
Needs: QB, WR, TE
Has: RB depth

Mock Trades:
Trade #1:
Esco trades Cedric Benson and Darrius Heyward-Bey to Billy for Brandon Lloyd and LT
Trade #2:
Donnie trades AJ Green and Santonio Holmes to Barnard for Stephen Jackson and Lance Moore
Trade #3
AGD trades Maurice Jones-Drew to Weissbard for Vincent Jackson and Jonathan Stewart
Trade #4
Kumpf trades Jahvid Best and Mario Manningham to Zacherman for Andre Johnson
Trade #5
Ajay trades Roddy White, Roy Helu and Jermaine Gresham to Joseph for BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Rob Gronkowski, and Devery Henderson
Trade #6
Alan trades Dez Bryant and Pierre Thomas to Kimmel for Willis McGahee and Mike Williams
Trade #7
Gutman trades Darren McFadden to Bennett for DeSean Jackson and Jackie Battle

Let’s get some trade offers going! We’ve already had 11 trades this year (5 by Alan), so let’s keep it up.
Next week I start work, so I have no idea how the rankings will be affected, but I assure you they will exist.