Quarterfinal Preview

Honestly, I've been in a funk all week since that Sunday night debacle. I owe Kevin Smith one of my wins, but his inability to stay on the field kept me out of the playoffs. That and Jason Hanson's inability to make field goals. Kickers and injuries, who would have thought?

We'll get to the Final 2011 CPP Rankings, complete with consolation prizes, and the Quarterfinal Preview, but first...

Bitching About Kicking

I could go on a long rant about Jason Hanson, complete with MmmBop references, but I'll just stick to the normal stuff.

QB - Rodgers 32, Josh Johnson 16 - Experts 302, Random 167
Difference per game of 10.38
RB - Rice 30, Spiller 15 - Experts 210, Random 118
Difference per game of 7.08
WR - Calvin 6, Tampa Mike 9 - Experts 168, Random 110
Difference per game of 5.27
TE - Gronk 24, Witten 4 - Experts 124, Random 68
Difference per game of 5.09
K - Kasay 7, Akers 14 - Experts 101, Random 89
Difference per game of 1.09
Defense - 49ers 18, Eagles 3
Difference per game of 0.91

Final 2011 CPP Rankings
1. Esco - CPP: 313.48 - Last Week: 1st
2. Joseph - CPP: 299.51 - Last Week: 2nd
3. Billy - CPP: 284.80 - Last Week: 3rd
4. Zacherman - CPP: 269.37 - Last Week: 4th
5. AGD - CPP: 261.50 - Last Week: 7th
6. Kumpf - CPP: 257.78 - Last Week: 5th
7. Barnard - CPP: 242.81 - Last Week: 6th
8. Kimmel - CPP: 222.35 - Last Week: 8th
9. Weissbard - CPP: 216.06 - Last Week: 10th
10. Ajay - CPP: 214.31 - Last Week: 9th
11. Autodraft - CPP: 196.79 - Last Week: 11th
12. Alan - CPP: 182.34 - Last Week: 12th
13. Gutman - CPP: 176.14 - Last Week: 14th

And the James Barnard Memorial Last Place CPP Award goes to...

14. Bennett - CPP: 173.09 - Last Week: 13th

In the model of Barnard and Long, Bennett you are a true embarrassment to yourself, your family, and this league.

Consolation Prizes

Barnard

Your consolation are these plastic bed sheets. Barnard is coming down to Austin this weekend, and while he will be sleeping on an air mattress, I still prefer he does not soil it. Anyone else that has been eliminated is also welcome. Even you Bennett.

Kumpf

While I've all but given up hope on my "Eliminate Kickers" campaign, I think I can fix my other problem: injuries. I don't need an MRI, I need something better. I need The Rehabilitator. Kimmel's injuries may have been more high-profile, and Zacherman's starters may have missed more time, but mine were the most widespread. My day one starting lineup was Schaub, McCoy, Best, Jennings, Manningham, Moss and Clark. Only McCoy and Jennings missed less than 4 games. This is me justifying why I'm the only person to be in the league all three years who has not made the playoffs.

Zacherman

Your consolation prize is a Killer Cam jersey. I'll admit you were right about him. Unfortunately a combination of bad injury luck, and bad matchup luck kept you out of the playoffs. I almost feel bad for you. But then again you made a lot of money last year by losing in the championship.

Weissbard

You had the most inconsistent season of anyone this year or any year. As I've said before, the gap between your highest and lowest scores was 94 points. In honor of that, your prize is one of the signature games of 1994, Earthworm Jim.


Quarterfinal Preview

With Esco and Billy on byes, we have two matchups to discuss this week.

Matchup 1: Ajay vs. Donnie

Quick Summary: These two teams only scored in the top 7 of a given week 10 times (5 each), which means combined they have the same number of "deserved" wins as Esco, Joseph and Billy (and less than non-playoff teams Kumpf, Zacherman, Barnard and Kimmel). But they are in the playoffs nonetheless. And one of them will move on to lose to Esco in the Semi-Finals, but still get a shot at third place.

QBs: Romo hasn't necessarily been consistent, and he will be chased around by the G-Men pass rush all night, but he is a legit fantasy starter. Josh Freeman is probably a borderline starter when he's healthy, but he is not. If he plays he gets a nice matchup, but if he doesn't you're forced to start Kolb, who wasn't even good enough to stay on Bennett's team. Big Edge: Ajay

RBs: We all know how pitiful Donnie's RB situation is (that's what happens when you autodraft), but Ajay doesn't get enough credit for blocking a few of Donnie's presumed waiver claims. Spiller, Gerheart, Ogbonnaya and Hardesty would all have been upgrades for Donnie, but Ajay has hoarded them. Whether he starts the correct ones or not is irrelevant, as Gore and Helu should blow Tate and Grant out of the water. Big Edge: Ajay

WRs: After the draft I thought Ajay had the best group of receivers in the league by far. As it turned out, that honor belonged to the Yahoo autodraft, who picked up Calvin, Welker, Smith 1.0, and AJ Green. And despite trading Smith and consistently benching Green for Tony Gonzalez, that edge remains over Ajay's solid, yet under-producing receivers. Edge: Donnie

TEs: This has been Donnie's hallmark all year for some reason. Both Finley and Gonzo are better than Gresham, and while only one of them should be starting, even if they both do it somehow gets Donnie wins. Big Edge: Donnie

D/ST: The Broncos D has come on like no other unit over the course of the season. And instead of having to deal with Cutler and Forte this week, they get Hanie and Barber. Meanwhile, the Giants D has combined to -1 over the past 2 weeks. Edge: Ajay

Owner Awareness: This one isn't close. Some of it Donnie couldn't control; his draft technical difficulties, his waiver position, etc. But Ajay has mastered our flawed waiver wire like no one else, and that is why he's in the playoffs and other, better teams are not. Big Edge: Ajay

Final Verdict: Based on everything you read above, it would seem Ajay will run away with it. But he has some tough roster choices to make, and against Donnie teams tend to make the wrong ones. Combine that with the inevitable 20+ point performances by Calvin and Welker, and this one will be close. But I'll never pick a team that Yahoo drafted. Winner: Ajay


Matchup 2: AGD vs. Joseph

Quick Summary: Thanks to AGD not following my advice, they draw the Joseph juggernaut in the first round instead of feasting on Ajay or Donnie. I realize you need to make the playoffs to have a chance, but seeing how Joseph's team is playing, I have as good a chance at winning the Stevens Bowl as you do.

QBs: Hey Rodgers! Discount Double-Check! Big Edge: Joseph

RBs: Over the course of the year, MJD, Turner and Tolbert were a more consistent group than CJ, Green and Law Firm. But right now? Nick's group picked the right time to peak. I still say it's close, but Joseph's crew could put up 50 easily (or completely no-show). Slight Edge: Joseph

WRs: I'm not a fan of either of your WR duos. Jordy has been sick this year, but he's not the most reliable performer week to week. The same can be said of Boldin, and his team just rides Ray Rice. AGD could use a healthy Maclin this week, but even if he does play he likely is a risky start. If I had to choose one I guess it's Nick. Slight Edge: Joseph

TEs: Gronkowski is by far the best receiver in this matchup.By far. Big Edge: Joseph

D/ST: As I write this, it's looking like the Steelers will put up about 10, which is solid. Seattle's D is surprisingly good and gets a sweet matchup, but by MNF it won't matter anyway. Edge: AGD

Final Verdict: All year I've said AGD was a playoff team, and I was right. But this is where the road ends for them. Winner: Joseph