2016 Draft Preview

Draft week is finally here, and thanks to the Rockies' schedule, we all had one fewer week to prepare. This will likely lead to some hilarious bids, as well as the soul crushing feeling of someone's $50 player tearing his ACL two days after the draft. My money is on Bennett. Here are a few other things to look forward to this weekend:


1. New Members

We unfortunately won't get to see how Bruno handles an auction draft in person, but the introduction of new team owners is always interesting to watch. Everyone has different draft strategy and behavior, so we'll see which of the following categories Marco and Bruno fall into, or if they create their own:

Esco - Never bids on any player for the first hour.
Barnard - Talks a lot while desperately seeking approval for his picks.
Alan - Doesn't talk at all while desperately seeking approval for his picks.
Donny - Only picks Giants.
Joseph - Shits on every single bid.
Bennett - Gets every single bid shit on.
Ajay - Shits on himself.
Gutman - Has immediate buyer's regret after every player he drafts.
AGD - Whispers sweet nothings to each other while doing a secret handshake after each player they draft.
BAM - Worries more about the beer situation than their team.
Zacherman - Worries more about the food situation than his team.
Weissbard - Worries more about pranking the rest of the league than his team.
Levine - Silently drafts a team that everyone agrees is solid, but no one is scared of.
Kumpf - Talks loudly about how this is the year he's not going to be wasted for the draft while downing his 15th beer.


2. Suspended Players

More so than any year in recent memory, the 2016 fantasy season will be affected by players facing suspensions. Brady, LeVeon and Josh Gordon will all miss the first month of the season, but when active they are all legit #1 options at their respective positions. Some teams will either luck into bargains, or completely overspend for the three of them along with DeAngelo Williams, Jimmy Garoppolo and.... whoever the Browns have at receiver other than Gordon. My guesses:

Tom Brady - Ajay (Bargain)
LeVeon Bell - BAM (Bargain)
Josh Gordon - Barnard (Overpay)
DeAngelo Williams - Levine (Bargain)
Jimmy Garoppolo - Bennett (Overpay)
Corey Coleman - Esco (Bargain)

3. Altered Realities

Given the legal standards put forth by the state of Colorado, it's extremely likely that the league will be collectively higher during this draft than in previous years. Whether that's due to overall participation or the extreme efforts of a few brave men remains to be seen, but it will probably have a legitimate effect on the outcome of the draft. We could see Gutman bidding repeatedly just to hear the ESPN music, a paranoid Alan hiding in the bathroom for hours, and Zacherman straight up fall asleep mid-draft. I'm not putting anything past this group.

4. NO KICKERS!

The long awaited removal of the most useless and unpredictable position in fantasy football will actually have an impact on the draft. The overall draft budget has not changed, but we all have one extra dollar to spend on a bid that actually requires some thought. If we all theoretically spent that money on Antonio Brown, his price could break $70. Isn't that more fun that bidding on Chandler Catanzaro?

5. Positional Craziness

In my draft prep, I've been baffled by the change in the typical positional hierarchy in fantasy. Outside of the top 4-5 RBs, that position is a complete wasteland. Receiver is pretty deep, but still feels risky to invest in heavily with auction dollars. Someone is going to pay runningback money for Gronk, as well as Jordan Reed. And QB is the most confusing position of all with questions ranging from "Can Cam repeat his 2015 production?" to "Am I really dropping $10 on Blake Bortles?"

I don't think I've ever been as confused about auction prices heading into a draft, and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. See you fuckers on Thursday.