Week 7 Rankings

Last week was a very odd week in the NFL. Scoring was pretty similar to what we’ve seen all year, yet fantasy scoring was down across the board in all my leagues. Maybe bye weeks play some part in that, maybe it was just a weird, wild week. Or maybe it just meant that the people who usually do the fantasy scoring were replaced by a new group of Fantasy Studs who are all ripe for the picking from the Waiver Wire.

Unfortunately I will never know what it feels like to get a Waiver Wire Stud, unless I lose a few games in a row, because of our fucked up waiver system. I think we’re all in agreement on this one, but I’m so used to Bitching about Kicking that I rarely have the chance to point out other facets of our league that need to be fixed. I know Esco 2012 is on my side, but I would think any commissioner candidate should have a firm stance on our waiver system.
Anyway, back to the usual…

Bitching About Kicking

QB – Rodgers 24, Campbell 1 – Experts 131, Random 68
Difference per game of 10.5
RB – AP 9, DMC 15 – Experts 83, Random 55
Difference per game of 4.67
WR – Calvin 11, Santana 3 – Experts 93, Random 49
Difference per game of 7.33
TE – Graham 12, Watson 3 – Experts 38, Random 29
Difference per game of 1.5
Kicker – Rackers 2, Crosby 6 – Experts 43, Random 42
Difference per game of 0.17
Defense – Packers 12, Pats 7 – Experts 56, Random 61
Difference per game of -.83

Lineups this week:
Experts: Rodgers, DMC, Calvin, Graham, Janikowski, Ravens
Random: Stafford, Addai, Santana, Daniels, Vinatieri, Panthers

Week 7 Rankings

1. Esco – CPP: 152.15 – Last Week: 1st
Blah, blah, blah Esco’s in first again. But it wasn’t easy. He needed a mediocre performance by Daniel Thomas on MNF to squeak past me, and if I had decided to start multiple-time Pro Bowler Dallas Clark instead of Ed Fucking Dickson, then we would have a new #1. Not that I’m bitter or anything. Two weeks ago against Weissbard, you got lucky and he didn’t capitalize. Last week against me it was all skill, as you played your optimal lineup, and I tried to get cute and blew it.

2. Joseph – CPP: 121.06 – Last Week: 4th
Your steady climb to #2 included taking down Donnie (impressive) as well as perpetual bottom-dweller Bennett (yawn), but you still remain at .500 in the standings. This is the point of the CPP though. If the playoff started today, you would have the 5 seed, and be facing off against the 4 seed, Barnard. While Yahoo might like Barnard’s trio of RBs better than your admittedly unorthodox lineup, the CPP still has faith in you. Unfortunately you get Esco this week. A Vick-less Esco, but Esco nonetheless. I think you fall back below .500.

3. Autodraft – CPP: 118.34 – Last Week: 6th
After a one week reprieve from your lucky ways, you bounce right back. 74 points was good for 10th best in the league last week, but of course Ajay had to attempt a record for futility, and you got the win. I shouldn’t even be surprised at this point. It’s good to see you finally came to your senses and benched Tony G in favor of AJ Green, something you don’t have the luxury of doing this week. You’ll be facing a revamped Kimmel squad, so I think you’ll need a little more of your karma magic to start another winning streak.

4. AGD – CPP: 114.38 – Last Week: 5th
You barely escaped a secretly good Kimmel team last week, thanks mainly to Rex taking a dump all over his chances. I’ve said all year that I’m not looking forward to facing you, and of course I get to do just that in the week where I’m most hurt by byes/injuries. Yahoo has me edging you barely in a matchup that features Nate Burleson, Keiland Williams, James Jones and Cadillac Williams. If Baltimore can’t contain MoJo on MNF, then you should win easily.

5. Zacherman – CPP: 110.04 – Last Week: 8th
You got about as lucky as Donnie last week, though everyone expected Gutman to score in the 50’s so it’s not that much of a surprise. The bad news for you is that Cam is starting to look like the rookie that he is. Teams are catching on to his style, and his supporting cast just isn’t good enough to put him in a position to score. That shouldn’t matter once again this week against an Alan team that is still searching for its identity.

6. Kumpf – CPP: 105.06 – Last Week: 3rd
My God, my lineup looks terrible this week. I’m still pissed I missed the chance to dethrone our last undefeated team for the second straight year, but maybe I’ll get that chance again in the playoffs. With my RB situation I was banking that if Best got hurt, Mathews would too, making Tolbert a starter. Unfortunately he’s concussed too, which creates a big headache for me.

7. Billy – CPP: 103.83 – Last Week: 13th
Quite the big jump for Mr. Lutz this week, and rightfully so after taking down a streaking Barnard (kind of like his frozen run from Carpenter Library). Devin Hester has been a nice weapon for you, and you don’t even have to start him thanks to teams still kicking away to him for some reason. The rest of your team won’t inspire much fear into your opponents, but at least they don’t inspire laughter like Bennett’s, who you should easily dispatch of this week.

8. Weissbard – CPP: 103.61 – Last Week: 11th
I guess your bump in the rankings is due to winning that barn-burner with the Muffin Man. The CPP may respect that win, but I sure as hell don’t. You had three players combine for 1 point, and one of them was promptly cut after the week. While I hope you beat Barnard this week, I don’t think you have a prayer of making the playoffs with your roster the way it is right now.

9. Barnard – CPP: 99.88 – Last Week: 2nd
This is more like it. How you got to #2 is beyond me, but hopefully it never happens again. I’m sure when you drafted your team, your first thought was, “Man I’m screwed when Fred Jackson has his bye.” You got a bit unlucky last week, but this week you deserve to lose. And you will.

10. Kimmel – CPP: 97.19 – Last Week: 9th
The hits keep coming for you. First Peyton, then Britt, and now even Rex Grossman can’t contribute any more. I think the trade for Stafford was necessary, but there’s a distinct chance that you handed Ajay the title when his team starts producing. Yahoo has you favored by 27 over Donnie, which is just unfathomable to me. I truly hope you make good on this, but it’s Donnie’s world and we all just live in it.

11. Ajay – CPP: 84.22 – Last Week: 7th
Well last week was terrible, so all I’ll say is other than Romo, Austin, Ingram and your kicker, the rest of your lineup combined to put up 7 points. That won’t happen again I hope, for everyone’s sake. I’d rather focus on your lineup for the rest of the season: Romo, Gore, Ingram, Austin, Fitz, Roddy. Damn, that’s nice. You have to assume Roddy and/or Fitz will start putting up numbers, and Ingram is only getting better. I’m assuming you make the playoffs as a 5 or 6 seed, and that will be one dangerous team.

12. Alan – CPP: 79.66 – Last Week: 10th
13. Gutman – CPP: 69.48 – Last Week: 12th
14. Bennett – CPP: 65.95 – Last Week: 14th
This is when things start to get ugly. Literally half of our league is .500, so they obviously have a chance at the playoffs. Kimmel is 2-4, but I don’t take him for dead yet. The bottom three teams were either struck with bad injury luck (Alan), had a terrible drafts (Gutman), made dumb trades (Alan and Gutman), or were just slapped in the face with bad luck from the moment they were born (Bennett). I give Alan credit, he’s still trying. His trades might not yield excellent results, but he has a somewhat respectable lineup still, and he has used his waiver position to snag useful players like Earnest Graham, Eric Decker, and our lord and savior Jesus Tebow. He has 13 adds and 5 trades to his name. But the 2 Jewish Philly fans? You’ve used your perpetually shitty waiver position to net Jackie Battle, and that’s about it. I still give Alan an outside chance at the playoffs if Rivers turns it on, but Gutman and Bennett will be sitting awkwardly together watching Eli face Romo in the first round of the playoffs while reminiscing of the good old days with McNabb bouncing passes to Reggie Brown.