Stevens Bowl XIII Preview

Guess who's back? I'm taking a brief break from the end of Paternity Leave to write the blog, as it apparently brings luck to whoever writes it. The league narrowly avoided the darkest timeline, but things are still pretty rough from a rooting perspective. But now that the we've completed the semi-final Birthday Buddy Bowl and Fraud Bowl, we're left with...

Weissbard! Kumpf! It's the Steven's Bowl XIII!

(While Barnard's collapse was hilarious, it did deprive us of a potentially all-time Elf Yourself. But I make the rules, so here you go.)

I'm honestly not sure if the league would prefer me to finally get my coat, or a full blown Danasty complete with an oven mitt. Let's break it down.

Stevens Bowl XIII - Kumpf vs. Weissbard

Quarterback
I'm on the record calling Justin Herbert the second coming of Carson Wentz, but he is clearly better than Kirk Cousins (who is still shockingly QB9 on the season). Matchup-wise, Denver's defense is more difficult than Green Bay's, but it's supposed to be 12 degrees in Green Bay on Sunday and I don't picture Cousins liking the cold. If Weiss wants to repeat, he needs at least a 10 point advantage here, and on paper he should get it.

Edge: Weissbard

Runningback

This is probably the weakest RB situation we've ever had in a Stevens Bowl. Mixon has been shockingly reliable all season, and Montgomery hasn't been too much worse when he's healthy, but beyond that jeeeez. I doubt me or Dan makes a final lineup decision until Sunday, but we're likely seeing at least two of Latavius Murray, Myles Gaskin, Dare Ogunbowale, Ke'Shawn Vaughn, Derrick Gore, and Duke Johnson, feature prominently in the biggest game of the season. I don't think anything is really predictable here beyond the top 2, and Monty's workload against a pathetic G-Men team should offset the slight talent/situation advantage that Mixon has.

Edge: Even

Wide Receiver

Jaylen Waddle's absurd workload is the primary reason why Weissbard is here in the first place. Combine that with Amari's quiet but steady WR2 season, and this is a strong position for Weissbard. But my WR situation is silly right now. Kupp's season has been in MVP discussions, Diontae Johnson has 17 more targets than Waddle, and AJ Brown is literally the only skill player in Tennessee. Even if Waddle and Amari have huge days, this position should be mine.

Big Edge: Kumpf

Tight End

Yes, Mark Andrews has been the TE1 for most of the season as an individual player. But the streamers that Weissbard has rolled out on  weekly basis have come close to outscoring Andrews while in Dan's lineup. He's probably rolling with Knox (underrated pickup of the year), but consider that Weiss has gotten 11 TDs from his Tight Ends this season. including ones from Dallas Goedert, Austin Hooper, and Pat Freiermuth. All I'm saying is this is closer than it looks.

Edge: Kumpf

D/ST

I'm rolling with my Fins against a Titans team that loves to turn the ball over. Not ideal when I need a big day from AJB, but this scenario worked for Weissbard last week so I'm hoping lightning strikes twice. Dan is in much better shape with a solid Saints D facing whatever the hell is going on in Carolina.

Edge: Weissbard

Pick:

ESPN has me relatively heavily favored for a Stevens Bowl, which points scored and roster health would agree with. I also have the new dad bump working in my favor, though I'm unclear how that works against another dad. I think this will probably come down to Diontae on MNF, which means either an easy win or a broken collarbone after dropping his first pass. I've been on the luckier side with injuries and COVID so far this year, but I think this is where it comes to an end. Hopefully Sheila's first words are "reverse JuJu." Bring on the Danasty.

Pick: Weissbard

In the Rogers Bowl, I'll take Barnard and hope that he outscores both me and Weissbard to really maximize the pain.