Week 12 CPP Rankings

As we embark on the last week of the regular season, as well as Thanksgiving, this will be short, sweet, and playoff focused. Kind of like Alan.

Current Playoff Picture

1. AGD - Clinched playoffs. Clinches a bye with a win.
2. Donny - Clinched playoffs. Clinches a bye with a win.
3. Esco - Clinched playoffs. Can get a bye with a win and a Donny or AGD loss, though the points will be close with AGD.
4. BAM - Clinches playoffs with a win. Can be eliminated from the playoffs only by the NiJo rule, so if they lose, Barnard wins, and Bennett wins and maintains his points lead over them, Kimmel would replace them as the 6 seed.
5. Barnard - Same deal as BAM. He needs to root hard against Bennett because if Bennett wins and Barnard loses, the NiJo rule will definitely be enacted.
6. Kimmel - Would currently replace Bennett via the NiJo rule. But Bennett requires some discussion:

Bennett - If he wins and Barnard loses, he's in. If Bennett loses, shit gets wild, as it opens the door for literally everyone else other than Nick (and possibly Ajay), who is our first team eliminated. Which brings us too...

Consolation Prize

Joseph - While technically he's still alive based on the NiJo rule, he would need to score roughly 250 points this week to be in the running, so I think we can safely call him eliminated. It's been a rough year for our Commish, who dealt with a frustrating injury to Gronk, and lackluster performances from most of the rest of his players. He also didn't draft any receivers, which was a bold strategy at the time and didn't pay off. During your offseason of reflection you should have plenty of free time, so your consolation prize will hopefully give you some new perspective on life. Enjoy Growing Up Gronk.

Week 12 CPP Rankings

1. Esco - CPP: 344.41, Last Week: 1st
Week 13 Opponent: BAM
Esco needs a win to have a chance at the all-important bye, and I see no reason why he doesn't get there, even against a full-strength BAM team.
Prediction: IN - 2 Seed and a Bye

2. AGD - CPP: 316.89, Last Week: 2nd
Week 13 Opponent: Zacherman
Even with a loss, AGD should still likely get a bye, but I don't think they'll even need to worry about that.
Prediction: IN - 1 Seed and a Bye

3. Kimmel - CPP: 293.60, Last Week: 4th
Week 13 Opponent: Kumpf
As much as I'd love to play spoiler, even if I win, Kimmel is still primed to use that NiJo rule.
Prediction: IN - 6 Seed via NiJo Rule

4. Gutman - CPP: 277.53, Last Week: 3rd
Week 13 Opponent: Alan
The CPP has shown the love to its former co-creator this year, but no one fucks with Alan right now.
Prediction: OUT

5. Weissbard - CPP: 268.85, Last Week: 5th
Week 13 Opponent: Bennett
You were my pick for worst team to start the year, and there's still hope for me to be correct, by record anyway. With Bennett's team well-rested, I expect a blowout here, Peyton or no Peyton.
Prediction: OUT

6. Joseph - CPP: 266.96, Last Week: 6th
Week 13 Opponent: Barnard
This is too perfect. An eliminated Nick team with no motivation other than beating Barnard so that he'll fall to the 6th seed and thus be eliminated via the rule that bears Nick's name. You can't make this stuff up.
Prediction: OUT

7. Kumpf - CPP: 248.86, Last Week: 7th
Week 13 Opponent: Kimmel
I remember just 5 short weeks ago when I was 5-2 and I thought "Wow, my team kind of sucks, but if I just win one more game then I'll probably be in the playoffs". Yeah, about that. Fucking Benny Cunningham.
Prediction: OUT

8. Zacherman - CPP: 248.66, Last Week: 10th
Week 13 Opponent: AGD
Of the bevy of 5-7 teams, Z actually has the best chance of making the playoffs. If he can beat AGD and Bennett loses, then the door is wide open for Z, who should be immune to the NiJo rule. Unfortunately, I don't think he stands a chance against the best team in our league.
Prediction: OUT

9. BAM - CPP: 245.92, Last Week: 8th
Week 13 Opponent: Esco
You are by no means a shoo-in for the playoffs, but while I think you do lose to Esco, the other things that need to happen are too unlikely for you to be eliminated.
Prediction: IN - 4 Seed

10. Donny - CPP: 245.78, Last Week: 11th
Week 13 Opponent: Ajay
As he said he would do all year, Donny is peaking at the right time, cracking the top 10 in CPP for what I believe is the first time this season. I think he loses to Ajay this week, but it won't matter.
Prediction: IN - 3 Seed

11. Ajay - CPP: 242.96, Last Week: 12th
Week 13 Opponent: Donny
This is likely a case of too little too late. As far as I can tell, your only way into the playoffs is via the NiJo rule, which you have no shot at. So you very well might be eliminated, but there is too much math there for me to figure it all out.
Prediction: OUT

12. Bennett - CPP: 239.94, Last Week: 9th
Week 13 Opponent: Weissbard
Pretty much everyone will be rooting against you this week for a change. Wait, nevermind, that's every week. I think you win, unfortunately, but the thought of you winning a playoff matchup is laughable.
Prediction: IN - 5 Seed

13. Alan - CPP: 222.94, Last Week: 13th
Week 13 Opponent: Gutman
I'm pulling for you, even after Benny Cunningham single handedly ruined my season. I think you win this week, but your only hope is to have Bennett lose and Kimmel shit the bed. I don't think either of those things happens.
Prediction: OUT

14. Barnard - CPP: 216.16, Last Week: 14th
Week 13 Opponent: Joseph
The good news is that you finally cracked 200 in CPP points, and there's a chance that you don't finish last there. The bad news is that you're set up all too well to fall to the 6th seed and then lose your playoff spot. Actually that's good news too.
Prediction: OUT

More updates to come via email after the Thursday games as well as after each round of games after that.

Happy Thanksgiving Henry.