This year has been filled with trades already, so this column isn't is vital as it has been in years past. But that doesn't mean it's not still fun to rip everyone else's roster apart and come up with fake trades that could be win-wins. Without further ado...
2013 FALAFEL Mock Trades
Mock Trade 1:
Esco receives Rob Gronkowski and Torrey Smith
Joseph receives Demaryius Thomas
Esco will likely be able to cruise to the playoffs, so his goal should be getting his roster as perfect as possible before that time. Jordan Cameron looked amazing for a couple of weeks, but Brian Hoyer isn't walking through that door. In his place, Brandon Weeden has struggled to get value out of Cameron or Josh Gordan, and I don't think anyone considers Cameron an every-week starter at TE anymore. It's nice being able to start two WR1's every week, but it might be worth balancing your roster to start an actual WR2 with what could be the #1 TE for the rest of the season.
Nick has rebounded somewhat after a miserable start, but he still lacks weekly consistency, especially at WR. With Jordan Reed's emergence in Washington, Gronk is actually expendable. The playoffs remain a long shot, but your lineup with DT and Reed looks better than it would with Torrey and Gronk. Will pride over spending $30+ on Gronk get in the way of improving your team?
Mock Trade 2:
Kumpf receives Marshawn Lynch, Robert Turbin, and Donnie Avery
BAM receives Pierre Garcon, Lamar Miller and Daniel Thomas
There is no question that outside of a potentially healthy Jimmy Graham, my team lacks consistent star power, especially at RB. BAM has a ton of star power at RB, but really nothing else other than Vernon. A trade like this would raise the ceiling of my team during weeks where my solid but not spectacular starters don't perform well, and it would give greater balance to a BAM team that can't assume its receivers will put up more than 5 points each.
Mock Trade 3:
Ajay receives Colin Kaepernick, Stevan Ridley and T.Y. Hilton
Gutman receives Reggie Bush, Dwayne Bowe and Terrelle Pryor
Ajay isn't out of it yet, but he still needs to dig out of his rough start. Complicating things is the fact that he is using three roster spots on QBs, another three on Denver RBs, and one more on an injured Randall Cobb. Roster flexibility is a premium in our league, and no one is at a bigger disadvantage there right now than our defending champ. Assuming the Philly QB situation works itself out soon, a Kaepernick and Eagles QB combo is more than enough to get the job done. And while the downgrade from Reggie to Ridley looks big based on current points, I'd wager that they end up similar for the rest of the season.
Gutman is on the up-and-up, but he's dealing with some mediocre starting RBs. Bush has been a no-doubt RB1 so far, and will slide in nicely next to Muscle Hamster and DMC. It will hurt to lose the big-game ability of Hilton, but buying low on Bowe might not be the worst thing. At first glance, I'm aware that this looks one-sided for Gutman, but Ajay's roster as presently constructed has roughly zero chance of making the playoffs.
Mock Trade 4:
Barnard receives Jacquizz Rodgers
Weissbard receives Greg Jennings
Bar none the least exciting Mock Trade goes to the two teams I dislike the most this year. Weissbard inexplicably gave up actual assets for Quizz right before Steven Jackson Steven was due back from injury. Only one team should value Rodgers, and that's Barnard. It's not too late to capitalize on this, because Jackson has been a royal pain in the ass in terms of his return from injury. Make up for your idiotic move last week by gaining some WR depth.
Barnard is essentially dealing with yet another lost season. He's like the Bucs of our league. Some middling success in prior years, a coach that literally everyone hates, some weird infections, and no real hope for a title in the near-term. Jennings wasn't a terrible draft pick at the time, but he certainly isn't going to start over Calvin or Wallace. Get yourself some actual Jackson insurance, and some penicillin.
Mock Trade 5:
Donnie receives Josh Gordon and Ben Tate
AGD receives Alfred Morris and Percy Harvin
Donnie is likely going to make the playoffs, but this past week wasn't a good sign for his franchise RBs. Foster getting yet another hamstring injury, and Morris losing 3 rushing TDs to Helu can't make the Don feel comfortable moving forward. Unfortunately for him, both of his handcuffs are owned by AGD, because of course they're into kinky shit like that. Assuming the Jacobs/Tolbert big man special is a usable RB2 combo while Foster is out, you can use Alf to upgrade your receivers and grab Tate. Once Foster is healthy, a Texans RB isn't terrible every week.
Pre-Foster injury, AGD would have likely had to give up Welker or Marshall to get Morris. But considering they could easily just plug Tate in as their RB2 right now, they should aim higher. A lineup with AP/Alf at RB, along with your stud receivers and either Rams RB X or Harvin at flex would look pretty unstoppable.
Mock Trade 6:
Alan receives Maurice Jones-Drew
Kimmel receives Danny Amendola
Neither of these teams is going anywhere this year, though Alan obviously has the better chance. And because he has the better chance, there is no way in hell he should be starting Leonard Hankerson or having an out-for-the-season Da'Rel Scott on his bench. MJD has been terrible this year, but he at least adds some respectability to a Masand team that, outside of trade-raping Barnard, has been a mess. Kimmel needs a miracle to make the playoffs, so he might as well go for the gold and hope that Amendola can return an put up 14-catch days in the fully healthy Pats offense. It can't get any worse than it already is.
Mock Trade 7:
Zacherman receives Bilal Powell and Roddy White
Bennett receives Andre Ellington and Rashard Mendenhall
Zacherman has subtly (for him) been making moves in the recent weeks, rattling off three straight wins before falling to Esco. After re-making his team, his only real weaknesses are choosing the correct Arizona RB to start, and figuring out his flex. This trade will at least give him the chance to choose between the correct Jets RB to start, and should solve his flex problem when Roddy gets on the field. These may be marginal improvements, but ones that could be the difference between making and missing the playoffs.
Bennett's two biggest issues this year have been injuries and the Bills. It has been impossible to choose between Spiller and Jackson on any given week, so you really have to hope that one of them gets hurt so the other will only have to split carries with Tashard Choice. This trade may look like it only complicates matters further, by giving you another RB duo on a shitty team to choose from, but it looks like Powell is no longer the no-doubt starter, so you need help. Best case, Spiller and Ellington emerge as legit starters, Vereen gets healthy and fills your flex, and other than QB, your team looks solid again.
Week 7 CPP Rankings
1. Esco - CPP: 244.15, Last Week: 3rd
2. Weissbard - CPP: 232.13, Last Week: 2nd
3. AGD - CPP: 214.09, Last Week: 1st
4. Kumpf - CPP: 210.03, Last Week: 4th
5. Gutman - CPP: 209.68, Last Week: 5th
6. BAM - CPP: 204.83, Last Week: 7th
7. Zacherman - CPP: 186.23, Last Week: 6th
8. Joseph - CPP: 185.61, Last Week: 9th
9. Kimmel - CPP: 183.60, Last Week: 10th
10. Ajay - CPP: 175.14, Last Week: 8th
11. Alan - CPP: 162.49, Last Week: 14th
12. Donnie - CPP: 154.32, Last Week: 12th
13. Bennett - CPP: 152.81, Last Week: 11th
14. Barnard - CPP: 150.23, Last Week: 13th
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