Semi-Final Preview

This is gonna be short and sweet, cuz I’m flying to Jersey Thursday morning, seeing the Rolling Stones Thursday night, and then I have a rehearsal dinner Friday and my real friend’s wedding on Saturday, all while I’m supposedly working.

Consolation Prizes

AGD

Your consolation prize is that you get two votes at Winter Meetings. This is important because you can help swing the votes that change up our D/ST scoring. I don’t care if we make TDs worth 3, include stuff like total yardage that better indicate a team’s performance, or just remove the position completely, but when Seattle’s D/ST outscores AP by 7 points, something is wrong with the system. You guys would have lost anyway, but getting killed by a Defense just makes it that much worse.

Bennett

You got fucked by Dez and Green, and if you played Britt over Fred Jackson, you would have won. All of this could have been avoided if you had just hit +1 instead of bidding an extra $10 on Vick, but we’ve been over this many times. Your consolation prize is that Week 17 will be the last time you get a free mustache ride!

Semi-Final Preview

Matchup 1: 1) Joseph vs. 4) Ajay

Quarterbacks

Rodgers vs. Ryan is a pretty solid matchup. Matty Ice started hot, cooled off, but then had a big week against the Panthers. A-Rod has been a slight disappointment considering how much Kimmel paid at the auction, but he’s still QB5 on the season. The problem is that they are facing the Giants and the Bears. I think the G-Men continue their NFC ascendance this week, so Rodgers should have a slightly easier time against the fading Bears.

Slight Edge: Joseph

Runningbacks

Not much to say here. Rice/Lynch/Gore and even David Wilson give Joseph the depth to take on Peterson even if he isn’t human.

Edge: Joseph

Wide Receivers/Tight End

Ajay’s got his Latinos and Joseph has V-Jax and then a bunch of mediocrity. If Ajay makes his second straight Stevens Bowl, it’s because he dominates the receiver battle. At TE, Gonzo is a huge advantage on Tamme, but a big game from him probably means a big game from Matt Ryan, which isn’t ideal.

Edge: Ajay

Defense

Both of these teams have relied on 15+ points from their defense at different times this year, but both the Bears and Texans have looked like shit in recent weeks. Nick has the added headache of his D facing his QB, which is never fun. Based on matchups, the Texans should have a slightly easier time.

Slight Edge: Ajay

CPP

Nick was the CPP winner this year, but he is not without faults. His team has been shockingly healthy, and injuries may rear their ugly head with Cecil Shorts this week. But Ajay’s team was pretty healthy as well, and he didn’t manage his roster as well as Nick did, so he loses out here.

Slight Edge: Joseph

Verdict

If Ajay has a chance to beat Nick, it’s because the Giants/Falcons game gets out of hand, yet Tony Gonzalez doesn’t score. It’s definitely possible, and with Rice and Gore facing tough defenses Nick won’t be at his best, but I can’t see the Commish missing out on the Stevens Bowl.

Winner: Joseph

Matchup 2: 2) Kumpf vs. 3) Esco

Quarterbacks

Not gonna lie, I got pretty lucky here. In a week where Brady has to go up against San Fran, Esco gets a less than 100% RG3 or Kaepernick vs. a Belichick game plan. I think RG3 plays, giving Esco an extremely tough decision, one that could likely decide his season. And given how Brady carved up a Houston defense that was dominant at times, I think I take this position.

Edge: Kumpf

Runningbacks

Of fucking course I have to face Sproles in the playoffs. Not that I would even start him, but it’s just the principle that he’s not on my roster based on a ridiculous rule. I think this position comes down to DMC. If he plays well in what should be an easy matchup, I think I get a double digit win. If he throws up a 2-point game, then I’m screwed. I have the advantage here in matchups, but it might be close.

Edge: Kumpf

Wide Receivers/Tight End

Marshall is the top receiver on the season and Mike Wallace gets a healthy Roethlisberger. That scares the hell out of me. I need Cobb to have a big day, and T.Y. Hilton to find the endzone to even keep this one competitive. I could really use Percy Harvin here. At TE, I have the edge in talent with Graham over Myers, but TE has been such a weird position here, that nothing would surprise me.

Big Edge: Esco

Defense

Seattle just came off a ridiculous performance against the Cardinals, and gets a mediocre-at-best Buffalo team this week. But the game is on the road, where Seattle is markedly worse, and C.J. Spiller is the lead back, which is great for Buffalo. Meanwhile, I get a terrible Lions defense that faces that same Arizona team that is going with Ryan Lindley. I’m not expecting 30+ points, but 10 should be a given.

Slight Edge: Esco

CPP

As the keeper of this metric, it is obviously slightly biased towards what I think makes a good fantasy owner. Having said that, Esco displays many of those characteristics year after year, so it’s not really biased against him. Esco had better roster management than I did, but I was 10-3 while having the second most injury-affected roster in the league. Too close to call.

Edge: Even

Verdict

This is the first playoff game I’ve had since the league entered its current Cortese-free format. You think I’m gonna pick against myself?

Winner: Kumpf

Bring it on Nick.