No time for small talk this week, on to the rankings.
Week 10 Rankings
1. Joseph – CPP: 315.11, Last Week: 1st
If there was ever a week for Nick to fall from the top spot
in the actual standings, it would have been last week against me. Even if he
lost to me, he still clearly has the best team, so he owns this spot in the CPP
for the rest of the season as far as I’m concerned. Despite getting next to
nothing from his receivers, Nick’s trio of RBs and the ageless Tony G would
have been enough to get past most teams in the league by themselves. And if he
had started his “optimal” lineup (which would have included Cecil Shorts and
Tampa’s D), he would have had nearly 150 points. You have clinched the
playoffs, and your Magic Number for clinching a bye is 2. Playoff Odds: 100%
2. Kumpf – CPP: 312.33, Last Week: 2nd
I may have lost to Nick, but I put up nearly 100, which
allowed me to somewhat keep pace with Ajay in the battle for the second bye. I’m
not making excuses, but being without Harvin, Cobb and Hernandez was less than
ideal and hopefully will not be the case in a possible Stevens Bowl re-match.
Additionally, my guarantee of making the playoffs for the first time this year is complete, and I will likely start resting my guys for a deep run. Playoff
Odds: 100%
3. Esco – CPP: 283.37, Last Week: 3rd
Esco had an impressive performance against Donnie last week,
highlighted by Joe Flacco’s breaking 30 fantasy points for the first and last
time in his career. The only real weakness on your team is TE, where the
twice-concussed Brandon Myers is your only player rostered. Outside of that,
this is a legit contender, with solid starters at every position when they’re
healthy. I have a weird feeling that you’ll make a nice playoff run, only to
lose after RG3 gets hurt in the first quarter against the Browns. Playoff Odds:
87%
4. AGD – CPP: 253.58, Last Week: 7th
My favorite part of the compiling the CPP each week is to
see where you guys end up. One week you break 110 and end up in the top 5, the
next you don’t even hit 60 points and fall to 11th. Your remarkable
inconsistency is truly awe-inspiring. Last week you destroyed a hapless Barnard
team thanks almost entirely to Calvin, Peyton and Demaryius. To make the
playoffs, you’ll need more consistent performances from your RBs, and you need
to jump Bennett as well as Kimmel or New Gutman. It won’t be easy, but your
schedule isn’t too rough. Playoff Odds: 45%
5. Kimmel – CPP: 252.72, Last Week: 4th
After a nice stretch where you won 5 of 6, your playoff quest came to a screeching halt thanks to Alan last week. No one steals an Alan-69
and gets away with it! I have to commend you on the Chris Ivory pickup, as he
gives you a chance without CJ this week. If you had listened to me and made a
trade for a receiver earlier in the season (or even now), I would be more optimistic
about you finally making the playoffs. But with Stephen Hill and Emmanuel
Sanders starting for you, and games against Esco and myself on tap, I can’t kid
myself. Playoff Odds: 40%
6. Ajay – CPP: 249.61, Last Week: 8th
I know you think the CPP hates you, and I understand why, as
you’re in third place in the standings and you just clinched the playoffs.
Looking at the data, the factors that hurt you are your lack of trades, and the
fact that you’ve been in the top 7 in scoring just 6 times, which is less than
4 other teams, suggesting you’ve been a bit lucky in terms of the schedule.
Regardless, you’re only 4 CPP points out of 4th place, and as I
said, your only concern now is if you can get that second bye. Playoff Odds:
100%
7. New Gutman – CPP: 236.34, Last Week: 5th
When I typed your name in the AGD section earlier, I forgot
to include the word “New” and Microsoft Word put a red squiggly line under your
name. I was shocked that Word had learned me so well as to know that you are in
fact only referred to as New Gutman at this point. When I fixed my error, there
was still a squiggly line under your name, but I was happier. I mention all
this because your team is a mess right now. Decker and Austin will get back on
track, but you started Shane Vereen, Donald Brown and Chaz Schilens last week.
This team is moving the wrong way, and you’ll need to win 2 of 3 to make the
playoffs. Playoff Odds: 40%
8. Bennett – CPP: 235.07, Last Week: 6th
That was a season-saving win for you last week, but you
still aren’t in great shape. Fred Jackson had a huge game, but he’s concussed
and just not as good as Spiller, so I expect him to be useless from here on
out. That leaves you with Joique Bell and LaRod Stephens-Howling as your RB2
options, also known as “backup runningbacks.” The only chance you have is
because Drew Brees is amazing and has single handedly kept the Saints alive. He
might be able to do the same to your squad. Playoff Odds: 25%
9. Zacherman – CPP: 223.20, Last Week: 9th
On the surface it was a tough loss for you last week while
putting up 95 points, but looking deeper you were lucky to have it be that
close. You got an absurd 27 points from the Broncos D/ST, and if they had put
up even 15 points, still a great number for a defense, you’re back in the 80s.
Looking ahead, you face a trio of 4-6 teams, two of which you’re clearly better
than. If you win the games you’re supposed to, and then upset AGD, you’re in
the playoffs. Better hope Jordy, Mendenhall and Bradshaw are healthy because
you’ll need them. Playoffs Odds: 30%
10. Alan – CPP: 206.42, Last Week: 10th
We may have found our spoiler team of 2012. Though his odds
of making the playoffs are next to nothing, he gets the chance to fuck with the
seeding of Esco and myself, and possibly eliminate New Gutman in Week 13. This
after avenging the 69 that got away, and with CJ Spiller starting. You may not
be headed anywhere this year, but at least you have something to play for these
last three weeks. Playoff Odds: 2%
11. Donnie – CPP: 184.01, Last Week: 11th
After the draft, I thought your 2-TE strategy was smart, so
smart that I mimicked it. Turns out you just chose the wrong guys. If either
Vernon or Jermichael lived up to their potential, or even their Madden ability,
this year, I think you would be in a much better place. Instead, you have to go
through me and Ajay, as well as New Gutman, in your last three weeks, needing
to win 2 of 3 at least. Unless there is a little-known rule that turns these
matchups into Movie Games, I think you’re out of luck. Playoff Odds: 15%
12. Barnard – CPP: 181.15, Last Week: 12th
What is it about your fantasy teams in general where you
always end up scoring under 70 points multiple times per year? Do you pick your
bye weeks wrong? Do you draft based on Madden speed? Are you for some reason
sold on Dexter McCluster? Regardless, you need to win out to make the playoffs,
and you have Nick the final week of the regular season. Maybe he’ll take it
easy on you. Playoff Odds: 10%
13. Weissbard – CPP: 167.35, Last Week: 13th
You got a win while scoring 64 points. That will never
happen again, unless you face Billy in the playof..well, nevermind. Sitting at
4-6 and with three 4-6 teams left to play, you’re actually pretty close to
controlling your own destiny. The only problem is that your team is terrible.
It was nice to see Nicks and Maclin looking good last week, and it appears that
Andre Brown is startable every week, but outside of that you don’t have much.
Playoff Odds: 5%
14. Billy – CPP: 118.33, Last Week: 14th
Come on Billy, you’re better than that. Leaving multiple bye
week players in your lineup last week? That’s some Chris Long shit. What’s
that? You started an actual roster and it only scored 42 points? Then that’s
some Barnard shit. Players I would have dropped instead of Sproles: Brent
Celek, Nate Washington, Dan Bailey, Dennis Pitta, Andre Roberts, Shaun Draughn,
Jackie Battle, Titus Young, Saints D/ST, Taiwan Jones. That’s correct, our
defending champ straight up dropped his sixth best player. Look out for your
consolation prize next week. Playoff Odds: 1%
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