Week 2 CPP Rankings

While I try to recover from that absurd bid on Eddie Fucking Royal, as well as the T-Rich trade, I will give each team a real write-up this week, but I reserve the right to go back to Twitter or Haiku format at any point.

Before we get to the rankings, let's look at how our division captains have done so far:

Ajay
Named his division? No.
Winning percentage of teams he drafted: .500

Esco
Named his division? No.
Winning percentage of teams he drafted: .500

Nick
Named his division? Yes, but I think we all agree he can do better.
Winning percentage of teams he drafted: .375

Obviously this is a small sample size, and Nick is the only division captain who isn't undefeated (in fact he has no wins), but I'd give Nick the lead based off him putting even 5 seconds of effort into naming his, and all the other divisions.

Week 2 CPP Rankings

1. Bennett - CPP: 177.2, Last Week: 3rd
The injury bug hit you hard between Weeks 1 and 2, and I don't know if you'll be able to hang onto this top spot for more than one week with Fred Jackson or Bilal Powell as your starting RB. Given your depth at receiver, and Joseph's lack of any, I think this is an obvious trade candidate. I also think that you're one of those guys who justifies have Eli and Flacco on your team by pointing to their three Super Bowl rings as opposed to their absurdly bad interceptions and three combined eyebrows. Good luck trying to take down the Black Dick this week.

2. AGD - CPP: 155.7, Last Week: 1st
Down one spot this week more due to Bennett's strong play than anything else, I wish I could have punished you for blowing a third of your budget on a receiver who will not score again this year. With Welker, Marshall, Tampa Mike and Gordon already in tow, this was an irresponsible bid. Unless you plan on trading some of these guys to Joseph for Charles or Ridley, in which case nice work.

3. Ajay - CPP: 149.8, Last Week: 4th
There appears to be a leader in the clubhouse for the Broncos starting RB, which makes your life a hell of a lot easier than it was last week. As long as Denver stays away from RBBC, your team looks to be in good shape. You might have a little too much riding on the health of Vick and Reggie, but that's just picking nits.

4. Esco - CPP: 138.5, Last Week: 6th
You have the tough situation of having a lot of depth at RB, but other than Forte, none of them are must-starts. A lot of teams in this league would kill for that problem, but it's likely going to cost you a game or two over the course of the season. Even with that headache, your trio of receivers should be enough to carry you most weeks, and if Cam gets going, watch out.

5. Barnard - CPP: 136.8, Last Week: 8th
If Barnard had the choice of winning the weekly prize last week, or not having SJax get hurt, I think he'd chose the prize. In a nutshell, that's why he sucks at fantasy football and life. Enjoy what is likely the peak of your year while it lasts, and have fun starting multiple backup RBs this week.

6. Kumpf - CPP: 118.1, Last Week: 9th
Two weeks in a row being right behind Barnard. He might be used to having the same guy behind him for weeks at a time, but I have to admit that it's creeping me out. I have to admit that I think my team has been getting by on smoke and mirrors, and if my RBs don't turn it up then I'm kind of screwed. What annoys me the most is that I don't even have the depth to pull off a logical trade.

7. Weissbard - CPP: 109.1, Last Week: 1st
"I hope you don't expect Peyton (or anyone) to do that again soon. This team will lose to Donnie and miss the playoffs." - Kevin Kumpf, 9/12/13

Not to say I told you so but...

Things aren't all bad in Beezleburgh, as you didn't have to waste $80 on James Starks this week as everyone rushed to pick him up. And with Dola on the shelf, Edelmen should continue to rack up points. It's just never fun when the question, "What is the ceiling of my team?" is answered during Week 1.

8. Donnie - CPP: 99.4, Last Week: 5th
In what feels like an annual tradition, Donnie is 2-0 without having finished in the top 7 in scoring either week. I have a feeling that trend will end this week; If you're going to beat AGD, you're going to have to earn it. But overall I still like this team, other than a gaping hole at WR2.

9. Billy/Marshall - CPP: 98.45, Last Week: 7th
You guys need a nickname that's easier to abbreviate. AGD is taken, and I don't really like BNBD, so we need nominations. Your depth is still clearly an issue, and we haven't even hit the byes yet. But with those RBs, you might be able to get by with any combination of receivers.

10. Gutman - CPP: 97.0, Last Week: 9th
We knew Boldin wouldn't dominate again, but that Kaepernick performance was shocking. He'll bounce back, but this team just has a mediocre feel overall. And if I were you, I might start Le'Veon Bell over Doug Martin this week. Just a hunch, but if you did that, your interview with my company next week might go a little better than if you start Muscle Hamster. I'm just sayin...

11. Joseph - CPP: 96.65, Last Week: 12th
Considering how God-awful your team looks on paper, you haven't put up embarrassing point totals so far. I don't think I've ever seen someone's value change as quickly Bradshaw's did twice in the last week, and if you're ever in a bad mood you can just look at your receivers and start laughing. But we knew that your team would come down to the health and performance of RG3 and Gronk, and so far that hasn't panned out. Your luck could change as soon as this week.

12. Kimmel - CPP: 80.8, Last Week: 13th
In true Kimmel fashion, this team is 0-2. You may have gotten MJD and DeAngelo on discounts (steep discounts in this case), but there is a reason that no one else wanted them. Your trio of Green/Fitz/Austin won't put up a combined 10.5 again any time soon, so I think you bounce back this week and take down the extremely overrated Barnard squad.

13. Zacherman - CPP: 74.25, Last Week: 11th
I'm a little shocked that you started two TEs instead of flexing Stevie Johnson, and while they both played well, that's just not smart decision making. With Rice hurt, Blackmon still suspended, and Ivory not staking his claim in the Jets backfield, your team is treading water big time. Relief may come this week against Joseph, but you need to make some changes and fast.

14. Alan - CPP: 71.7, Last Week: 14th
You're not that far behind Z in CPP points, but that's due to the injury boost that Amendola gives you. We all knew your team had no depth, and with Dola hurt and Wilson still looking to break into positive numbers, it's showing. On the bright side, Gio Bernard looked great on Monday, and Chris Givens had a breakout game. I'm calling the upset of the week in picking Muff Puff over Weissbard.

MACH