Stevens Bowl XVI Preview

 I know this is coming out after the week has already started, but it's not my fault the NFL doesn't care enough about hyper-specific fantasy football blogs with intermittent posts. Better late than never, and I wouldn't want to deprive Nick of his first Stevens Bowl Preview.

Before we get to the breakdown, I am changing one of my favorite traditions. Fifteen years of Elf Yourself seems like enough, and technology has improved, so we're now enlisting AI for help.

NIJO! ALAN! IT'S THE STEVENS BOWL XVI!

For those who could not view the image:

I can't wait until video AI gets mature and free enough to create some deepfake porn as the preview. Belfer, I will need your help.

STEVENS BOWL XVI Preview: Nick vs. Alan

Note: I am doing this preview as if the Christmas games had not yet occurred, and we did not know that CD is out for the year.

Quarterbacks:
If you had Darnold vs. Purdy as the Stevens Bowl QB matchup, you should probably be in the Stevens Bowl. Darnold has had the better season, has the better weapons, and is playing indoors. Purdy gets to be the MNF hammer. I can't trust Darnold enough to pick him here, so I'll take the copout.
Edge: Even

Runningbacks:
Cook vs. Henry is the heavyweight battle here, but the matchup could easily be decided by the lower card of Hunt/Jones vs. Swift/ETN. I hated when Alan traded for Hunt, and I really hate ETN, so it comes down to Jones vs. Swift for me. I am way less afraid to pick against Jones than I am Darnold, so despite Swift getting more action in the passing game lately, I'll go with Alan.
Slight Edge: Alan

Wide Receivers:
Another heavyweight battle between CD and AJB, but the undercard here is really interesting. BTJ has been an absolute stud this year, even with the Jags being miserable to watch.. Tennessee is a meh matchup, but I expect him to clear 10 points easily. Jameson Williams, as always, is the true wild card. Goose Egg? In play. 200 Yards and 3 TDS? Also in Play. I don't love the big game odds for Jameson outdoors in San Fran in late December, so I'll go with Nick here.
Edge: Nick (Note: This is now a Big Edge with CD hurt.)

Tight Ends:
A total wasteland of a position this year outside of Kittle and Bowers, the Stevens Bowl brings us the immortal matchup of Tucker Kraft vs. Chig Okonkwo. I honestly could care less.
Edge: Even

D/ST:
Alan has been riding the Chiefs for all season and they've been more average than great, but I do like them outside in Pitt with Russ being forced to throw. I expect at least one defensive TD there. Nick has played the streaming game and now gets to feast on Caleb outside in Chicago at night. I don't feel like Seattle's D is anything special, but the matchup is certainly nice.
Edge: Even

Overall:
For the first time ever, Nick has all kinds of karma on his side. The number one reason to root for Alan is to make it difficult for me to find a different personalized chef uniform item. Not a bad reason, but St. Nick has better ones. Before CD got hurt, I was tempted to pick Alan, but now I really have no choice but to #Kurse Nick and his overreliance on the Tennessee/Jacksonville game.
Pick: Nick