Given the annual snubbing of Pitt during Draft Madness, I had a feeling this would be among the best or worst draft weekends we've had. I feel like I was right, and Pitt was a surprising contender for Best Draft Weekend ever. The city was a good size for our group, activities matched our interests, the Airbnb was good enough, the weather was perfect, we had 17 people in their mid-late 30s, we had a local guide, etc. Gutman deserves his kudos for planning things, but the vibe in general was just very good. Thanks to Levine for not being able to come.
As always, I will use Bill Simmons' my movie quote gimmick to assign draft grades. I did not have a ton of choices for this year, as I would guess less than 5 of us have seen The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh, and Groundhog Day is a little too far away to count. That leaves us with what I thought was a good choice, with Pitt representing Gotham, but we're using The Dark Knight Rises. If nothing else, it gets Hines Ward into movie game. As it turns out, the quotes here were not as good as I thought, and very difficult to apply to the league. Anyway, enjoy.
Zacherman
Bane: There’s a reason why this prison is the worst hell on earth… hope.
Z's section will be a preview to the theme of this post: mid-RBs were overpays, the late-middle of the draft was chaos, and Bane has most of the good quotes in this movie. This particular quote refers to Z setting the record for getting outbid on defenses he proposed. I lost count after 5 but it may have been close to double digits. He settled on Seattle for $2, which is less than ideal, yet appropriate.
Best Pick: Travis Hunter for $13. Given the hype and unique abilities for Hunter, I assumed he would be a huge overpay. I'm high on him in general, so getting him for under $20 was a surprise to me.
Worst Pick: TreVeyon Henderson for $36. In years' past, guys like Henderson were undervalued, going in the low $20s because the league went wild on the top RBs. This year was the opposite, and seeing a time-share, injury-prone rookie on a mediocre-at-best offense go for more than guys like Kenneth Walker, Kamara, Tyreek, and every TE is a surprise. He might end up being better than those guys, but this is not how the league usually goes.
Grade: B-
AGD
Bruce Wayne: I fear dying in here while my city burns.
Might as well get this one over with. The last time we had a true autodraft, it led to a chef's coat. This time...it won't. Obviously a shitty situation all around, but so far it seems like you guys are handling it well. The simple recourse here was just to attend the draft, but if that wasn't possible, you needed more than one contingency (or at least some idea of how autodraft works). There was surprisingly little discussion on giving you guys a break somehow, but the fact that there are literally two of you and neither one did this right kind of tanked your opportunities.
Best Pick: Josh Allen for $29. Not much to work with here, but no one is mad that they drafted Josh.
Worst Pick: Jalen Hurts for $30. I mean obviously. But beyond the fact that this was a second stud QB, he somehow cost more than Josh. I have no idea how that logic is possible, but I guess we all learned something.
Grade: Bruno (not worth discussing further)
Ajay
Bane: You fight like a younger man… nothing held back. Admirable, but mistaken.
I don't think any of the specific picks were terrible, but taking two TEs and loading up on the same bye week by accident is never a good sign. Appreciate the level of drunkenness you voluntarily got yourself to by noon, but you obviously have work to do with this roster. (Reminder that these grades are as of the end of the draft and do not include any post-draft news or trades).
Best Pick: Jaylen Warren for $6. I feel like this pick slipped through the cracks. Warren is the definition of unexciting, but at worst he's the lower half of a time-share with a rookie on a team that will need to play from behind. At best he leads the time-share and has an RB1 season as Rodgers reinvigorates the entire city of Pittsburgh. Not even considering what happened after the draft, Warren should have gone for 3x as much.
Worst Pick: Brock Bowers for $34. Always tough to gauge the value of the top guy at a position, but this ended up as a relatively big overpay. I feel like Bowers is overrated in general, but even if he is TE1 this year, he's not $9 better than TE2?
Grade: A-
Weissbard
Batman: I’m whatever Gotham needs me to be.
Two time Stevens Bowl champ. Back-to-back shot spotter (3x overall). Weiss is a chameleon for this league, and this year his role was to have the best team name. His team is fine. JCM was either worth $40 or $1, so getting him for $11 will probably be a bargain. Don't love the rest of the roster, don't hate it. All I know is that you will never pick the correct RB2 unless JCM hits hard.
Best Pick: Tetaroia McMillan for $7. Auction bids were going crazy at this point in the draft, so landing a true WR1 for any team at this price was a value. Hopefully you don't even need to start him, but even as trade bait this was a nice pick.
Worst Pick: Ladd McConkey for $32. Honestly I had him valued at exactly $32, so this wasn't a wild overpay. But with BTJ already locked in at WR1, the WR2 spot could have gone any number of ways. This was by far the most boring.
Grade: B
Esco
Bane: You came back to die with your city.
Esco made a low-key pro move by announcing he wasn't coming to the draft, avoiding planning it, then showing up and still getting a good room pick. Well played, but don't think that means you are off the hook for planning next years' draft. On the downside, your team is bad. Not the worst, but still bad. You might be the first team ever to only spend $1 on your defense, with everyone else on the roster at $2 or higher. That is not a compliment.
Best Pick: Jordan Love for $2. The Maye pick looks like an overpay, but getting the guy you are actually going to be starting for this price is super nice. Lots of mouths to feed in GB, but can't go wrong by picking the guy who will be doing the feeding.
Worst Pick: Chris Olave for $10. Best case, he ends up the WR1 on a bottom-five passing offense. Worst case, he is unstartable due to injuries and/or the talent around him, and retires by Week 6. Going in the same price range as Devonta, Ridley, and Hunter makes no sense to me.
Grade: D
Nick
Bane: Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
Our defending champ can resume his usual heel role after one game of being a fan favorite. Nick had one of the weirder drafts, and I don't think it's entirely because he had to catch his flight. Every one of his picks was either a good value or a fair price, but the end product is an extremely unexciting roster. I don't know if it's Purdy at QB, Drake at WR1, Goedert at TE or just an underwhelming group of players going for a repeat, but I'm not really scared of anyone there.
Best Pick: Kyren Williams at $41. I regret not bidding this one higher. He was Exhibit A for lower level RB1s going for way cheaper than they should have.
Worst Pick: Stefon Diggs for $8. On one hand he's the top WR on his team and is only needed for flex here. On the other hand he's extremely washed and the rest of your roster was well-drafted.
Grade: C+
Billy
Bane: No one cared who I was until I put on the mask.
Didn't have great quotes here for someone who went more off-script than anyone in years. He went big for Gibbs and then...drafted three players in the $20s? A top ten QB? An actual flex player? My guess is that Billy wasn't drunk enough, something we need to remedy next year. If Billy has a resurgence this season we may have lost the most consistent facet of draft weekend besides Levine not showing up. The result is a pretty solid team from top to bottom, so maybe this is the evolution of Billy.
Best Pick: Jahmyr Gibbs for $60. I feel like Billy had mentally budgeted $75 for his RB1, so getting Gibbs for $60 threw everything off for him. I think Gibbs could easily end up as the RB1 this year, so nice value.
Worst Pick: Jaylen Waddle for $13. This auction got out of hand quickly, but it was at the point of the draft where everyone was overspending to fill out their roster. I'm down on Miami in general, and Waddle going in the range of Ridley and Odunze seems like an overpay.
Grade: A-
Kumpf
Bane: I am a necessary evil.
Everyone knows my schtick during the draft. Comment on every pick, call most of them bad, and then ultimately draft an unexciting team. This year I tried to target specific players and fill out my roster accordingly, and I guess I never stopped to look at what the final roster would look like. My roster is deep as usual but I'm not really going into Sundays pumped to watch Bucky Irving and Courtland Sutton.
Best Pick: Chase Brown for $48. Seeing Brown mocked as a top 10 RB was confusing to me at first, but I eventually came around to it and now I'm fully sold on him as a three-down touchdown machine.
Worst Pick: Jauan Jennings for $10. This was also during the crazy time of the draft, but it looks silly in hindsight. I was targeting Jennings, but also had no idea that he's already hurt and also requested a trade. Should be fun.
Grade: C
Marco
Bane: I was wondering what would break first… your spirit, or your body.
Marco stayed out of the ambulance this year, but on Thursday night it seemed like he was heading that way. Thankfully he rallied and ended the weekend in the black (I think?), then spent all of his auction dollars on starters but somehow was autodrafted some upside backups for $1. I don't super love the specific players, but it's a fun roster.
Best Pick: Malik Nabers for $45. He's extremely fun to watch and he went for less than ARSB, BTJ, and AJB, and went for the same as Puka. Speaking of...
Worst Pick: Puka Nacua for $45. No issues with Puka specifically, but after getting value with Nabers, Marco was primed to take one of the top RBs, and ended up with Kenneth Walker. Womp womp.
Grade: B
Gutman:
Alfred: Maybe it’s time we all stop trying to outsmart the truth and let it have its day.
Our first non-Bane quote goes to the organizer of this year's draft weekend. I joke that Esco needs to resume the planning role next year, but I didn't hear anyone ask for him as we were sailing down the river or betting on the Pirates. Next year during Draft Madness you should send out sample itineraries along with potential Airbnbs. Your team is bad though.
Best Pick: Derrick Henry for $56. I didn't splurge for him, but Henry finishing as a top 5 RB is something you can take to the bank.
Worst Pick: Mike Evans for $22. Going in I was targeting Evans and had him in the $10-$15 range as a potential value. That was not the case. Waiting until pick 91 to get your first WR can cause those issues.
Grade: D
Alan:
Bane: Your victory has defeated you.
I say it every year, but Alan is either going to make the Stevens Bowl or battle for the Shot Spot. This seems like a Shot Spot year.
Best Pick: Josh Downs for $3. A rare value at this point in the draft. Don't love that he's your WR2 til Week 8 but the value remains.
Worst Pick: Sam LaPorta for $22. Lots of candidates here, but TEs were heavily discounted this year and LaPorta is too frustrating to be drafted for $8 more than Hockenson.
Grade: D-
Levine:
Bane: You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it.
I had a shockingly easy time picking Levine's quote this year. He was the first to adopt a true sit-and-wait-for-value draft strategy, but now everyone else has at least dipped their toe in it. But this strategy is often replicated and never duplicated, as once again Levine comes away with 4 startable RBs, but no one he will ever be excited to start.
Best Pick: Tony Pollard for $15. No one wants Pollard but come on, he went for about the same as Tank and Jordan Mason.
Worst Pick: Broncos D/ST for $4. I don't think any defense is worth more than $1, but in this case, are you planning on picking up a second defense when they play the Bengals and Eagles in weeks 2-3?
Grade: B+
Bennett:
Selina Kyle: The storm is coming, Mr. Wayne. You and your friends better batten down the hatches.
Even if the storm is coming, we all know Bennett won't acknowledge it unless it's a direct hit. I figured out during the draft this year that Bennett's fantasy team performs pretty much exactly how well the Eagles do. The Eagles have been good-to-great the last few years and that pretty much matches how Bennett has done. The Eagles look pretty good this year unfortunately.
Best Pick: Baker Mayfield for $8. I love Baker this year and QBs were already a bargain. Baker going for less than Chris Olave is really nice.
Worst Pick: Kyle Pitts for $5. One dollar is too much for Pitts.
Grade: B+
Barnard
Talia al Ghul: You think this is the end? It’s only the beginning.
I never thought I would say that Barnard drafted a good team. And I still won't. While this is a top 3 roster, I have to give full credit to Weissbard for picking Barnard's name out of a hat, getting him nice and drunk, and allowing him to get out of his own way. He's light on depth at RB, which won't matter because Saquon is unbreakable, but he has the deepest group of WRs in the league. He might be looking at a bye this season if he doesn't fuck it up.
Best Pick: Xavier Worthy for $5. Even before the Rice suspension was official, Worthy was worth at least double digits, and now he's in contention for a WR1 season.
Worst Pick: Zay Flowers for $20. Not getting Andrews put you in a tailspin and I have to think this bid is the result of that.
Grade: A-
Grade Recap:
Ajay: A-
Barnard: A-
Billy: A-
Bennett: B+
Levine: B+
Weissbard: B
Marco: B
Zacherman: B-
Nick: C+
Kumpf: C
Esco: D+
Gutman: D
Alan: D-
AGD: Bruno
