Week 2 Recap

My biggest concern heading into this season was that positive tests would wreak havoc on some teams, rendering the actual games and thereby fantasy matchups tainted. Week 1 went off without a hitch, but with all the travel required for Week 2, I was bracing for impact. Instead, there were no positive tests... but the rest of the league got injured anyway. Billy's season is essentially over, and Ajay is in danger of joining him soon. But weirdly, I like it? Obviously it sucks for those guys, and if Zeke went down I'd likely be singing a different song, but ACL tears and high ankle sprains are so much more refreshing than the alternative. Injuries suck, but they're part of the game, which makes this the most normal 2020 has felt in quite some time. If you think this is the painkillers talking you might be right, but I'm all in on the NFL in 2020.

With two weeks of games under our belt, some of the flukes from Week 1 are distant memories, but some now appear to be the new normal. This week's Power Rankings will take a look at what's real, what's not, and what's still up for discussion for each team in the league.

Week 3 Power Rankings

1. Levine (Last Week: 2nd)

Real: This team has no real weaknesses (a Levine staple) and is in prime position to make trades if it wants to (not a chance given that this is Levine).

Not Real: Levine currently has three top 7 WRs in Ridley, Thielen, and Robby Anderson. I'm going to bet that none of them finish at top 14.

TBD: A lot of the points on this squad so far have come because their defenses are absolute garbage (Dallas, Atlanta, Minnesota, Carolina). While that is a productive situation, it's not necessarily a sustainable one.

2. Weissbard (Last Week: 6th)

Real: Kyler to Hopkins will bring terror to anyone playing Weissbard this year.

Not Real: Despite his best efforts, there is no way Weissbard gets the return he's looking for from a Rodgers trade.

TBD: The upside to this RB situation has swung wildly from week to week so far. I wouldn't be surprised to see James Robinson cut and Gio Bernard score three TDs next week.

3. Bennett (Last Week: 12th)

Real: Cam the runner is back to his old self, with a 6-10 point baseline before he even throws a pass.

Not Real: Starting multiple Eagles is not a path to success. That team is a mess, and even with an easy schedule I wouldn't be comfortable relying on their offense.

TBD: Cam the passer doesn't look right to me. He's short-arming his throws, and while that hasn't led to issues so far, I'm skeptical that he can keep it up for a whole season.

4. Marco (Last Week: 8th)

Real: Russ is the early season MVP, and even if his production falls off, that's one of the picks of the draft.

Not Real: Leonard Fournette is not a weekly starter. No one loves their unnecessary yardage more than Fat Lenny, but when the going gets tough, the 2.7 YPC will come back.

TBD: A receiving corps of Scary Terry, Diggs, Hollywood, Crowder, and Devante Parker is pretty legit, but figuring out who will pop each week will lead to a lot of headaches.

5. Kumpf (Last Week: 9th) 

Real: Zeke is the safest bet for an RB1 season in the league.

Not Real: Jonnu Smith is not the best TE in fantasy football (but for $1, I'll take it).

TBD: Drews Brees looks very washed. I'm holding out hope until Michael Thomas gets back, but I fear that this is real.

6. Zacherman (Last Week: 11th) 

Real: Jonathan Taylor is a RB1, and once the Colts realize he can catch the ball, he's a top 5 option in the league.

Not Real: Myles Gaskin cannot possible be startable in fantasy.

TBD: The Bills backfield has yet to produce a startable option, but if it ends up being Singletary, then Z is a legit playoff threat. If not, he's going to need a trade to field multiple startable RBs.

7. AGD (Last Week: 5th) 

Real: Josh Jacobs is a upper middle class man's Zeke in terms of workload and production, making him one of the values of the draft.

Not Real: I can't see Cleveland fielding multiple top 10 RBs, and Hunt will likely see the larger dropoff of the two.

TBD: Shanahan tends to ride the hot hand, so Jerick McKinnon can potentially go from a waste of auction dollars to a legit starting RB.

8. Barnard (Last Week: 13th) 

Real: This is a shockingly well rounded team that is well positioned to trade depth for a stud, making the inevitable crash and burn all the more enjoyable.

Not Real: Last week was a ceiling performance for nearly every non-Mahomes player on the roster, so I wouldn't be surprised to see another sub-75 point win against Bennett.

TBD: I'm not sold on the Cam/Edelman connection. If they keep playing like last week, then Barnard is a title contender, but I would lean closer to Edelman topping out as a flex option.

9. Gutman (Last Week: 4th) 

Real: Until one of them gets hurt or traded, neither Ingram nor Dobbins will be a comfortable player to start.

Not Real: The Titans passing attack has been shockingly good so far, at the expense of Henry, which absolutely will not last.

TBD: Noah Fant looks really good so far, but his situation has gotten both better (Sutton ACL) and worse (Bortles!), so I have no idea what to expect moving forward.

10. Esco (Last Week: 7th) 

Real: This team is a solid RB2 away from being a playoff team.

Not Real: Once defenses realize Kamara is the only weapon to worry about in NOLA, he will face a steep fall from RB2 on the year.

TBD: Esco has a worse version of Marco's WR problem, where he will definitely cost himself matchups by starting John Brown over Will Fuller (I think this is just a problem with owning Will Fuller in general).

11. Ajay (Last Week: 1st) 

Real: I nailed the fact that this team was one injury away from having issues.

Not Real: Kenyan Drake is better than he's playing so far, which gives some room for improvement on an otherwise cursed squad.

TBD: Spending 70% of your FAAB money on Mike Davis and Keelan Cole will either keep your team alive, or lead to a lot of shots in 11 months.

12. Nick (Last Week: 3rd) 

Real:  The Chiefs are not going to make a rookie RB the focus of their offense, so CEH is a low end RB1, not the 2021 first overall pick he looked like in Week 1.

Not Real: None of the injuries on this team are season ending, so I expect a bounce back one Nick can field his full squad.

TBD: Can the watered down lineup you're rolling out win enough games to keep you in the playoff race?

13. Alan (Last Week: 14th) 

Real: Even without a full-time role, Aaron Jones can lead the league in touchdowns again.

Not Real: Josh Allen will not lead the league in passing, and we'll see if he's really a top tier QB after he plays a real NFL team (non Jets/Dolphins division).

TBD: Michael Thomas will get healthy, but there's not a clear WR2 right now. One of Cooper Kupp, Brandin Cooks, or Darius Slayton will need to pop for Alan to have a chance at the playoffs.

14. Billy (Last Week: 10th)

Real: Joe Burrow looks like a good pick?

Not Real: Marvin Jones is due for a big game?

TBD: Can you field a full roster this week? I don't know, I'm just trying not to be too negative here.

Matchup of the Week: Barnard vs. Bennett

I'm as surprised as any of you, but both of these teams are pretty solid, and the winner will likely establish themselves as a favorite for the playoffs. Bennett's got his core pretty set, with the only tough choice at Flex, whereas Barnard's depth makes pretty much every non-Mahomes (and Waller) lineup spot up for debate. Matchup-wise, things are pretty even, and things will likely be decided by who wins the Chubb/Odell, Gallup/Lamb, Cam/Edelman teammate combos. The dream is that Barnard is down by 20 heading into MNF with Mahomes taking on Baltimore, and while that's a tough matchup, I'm not one to bet against Mahomes.
Pick: Barnard
MotW Record: 2-0

Gambling Corner

Bears (+3.5) at Falcons

Eagles (-5) vs. Bengals

Steelers (-4) vs. Texans

Rams (+1.5) at Bills

Football  Team (+7) at Browns

NFL Bets

Last Week: 2-3
2020 Record: 8-5 (+1.69 units)
Historical Win Percentage: 54.40% (+18.83 units)

Week 1 Recap

After a weird offseason, it's only appropriate that we have a weird Week 1. Sure, some things were predictable -- Mahomes and Lamar going off, CMC/Dalvin/Zeke having multiple TDs, Barnard winning despite not breaking 75 points -- but even without any massive injuries, there was a lot of bizarre stuff that went down both in the NFL and FALAFEL. For example:

• Garbage time was huge. Late, meaningless TDs for the Texans, Falcons, Vikings, Bucs, and Giants all played a part in determining matchups or making guys like Ridley, Thielen, Brady, and Slayton look more impressive on paper than they did in the games.
• For some reason, in a year with more WR depth than any I can remember, we had three teams start multiple Tight Ends. Two of them lost, and none of them made the right start/sit decisions.
• Only three RBs went over 100 yards. One was Derrick Henry, but the other two were a rookie in his first game on the most explosive passing offense in the league, and something called a Benny Snell.
• The team I gave the lowest draft grade to (Z) outscored the team I gave the highest draft grade to (Gutman) by 35, Adrian Peterson turned back the clock by 10 years, and Antonio Gibson was outplayed by Peyton Barber, making my Draft Recap post look irrelevant weeks before it usually does.
• Saquon Barkley had 15 carries for 6 yards.
• Billy still put up over 100 thanks in part to Danny Amendola.

As always, it's only one week. But no one has tested positive yet, and we're about to have half the teams in the league travel across the country. So it's only going to get weirder.

Week 2 Power Rankings

1. Ajay (Post Draft: 3rd)

Good News: You won despite starting Hunter Renfrow, and may have a potential starting RB in Malcom Brown that no one factored into the equation.

Bad News: Sutton's shoulder will be a constant concern, and a banged up Kittle limits your upside.

2. Levine (Post Draft: t11th)

Good News: David Johnson looks as spry as he has in years, and Bill O'Brien seems likely to force feed him to justify that trade.

Bad News: Take away garbage time from Ridley and Thielen and this team looks a little bit more pedestrian (though given their defenses, Atlanta and Minnesota are likely going to have a good number of shootouts).

3. Nick (Post Draft: 2nd)

Good News: Clyde looked even better than advertised, and Mostert seems to be the no-doubt starter in San Fran. (And you can probably trade Sammy to Zacherman)

Bad News: The WR situation here was not as impressive as it looks, and while Godwin and Brown should bounce back, the Cleveland passing game looks like a mess.

4. Gutman (Post Draft: 1st)

Good News: A lineup core of Henry/Julio/Woods/Golladay and the Ravens RB1 is still the best in the league, Benny Snell was a lucky dart throw, and Fant looks like a potential breakout (though Sutton and Hamler were both out).

Bad News: The Ravens RB1 may not be decided for another month or so, and I want no part of the Eagles offense with that O-Line.

5. AGD (Post Draft: t8th)

Good News: Overcoming the worst lineup decision (Non-Barnard/Alan Division) in Darrell Williams to still break 100 while getting a combined 3 points from your Flex and D/ST is not a bad way to start, even in a loss.

Bad News: While the rest of your performance looks sustainable, it hurts to waste a career day from Jacobs.

6. Weissbard (Post Draft: 4th)

Good News: I was nervous about him learning a new offense with no preseason, but with Nuk's Week 1 performance, I can confidently say that you have the best WR duo in the league.

Bad News: I was confident about Gibson being the starter in Washington, but with Barber's Week 1 performance (and the Conner injury), I can confidently say you have the worst RB situation in the league. A trade with Gutman seems like a good idea.

7. Esco (Post Draft: t8th)

Good News: You had a huge day without your second most expensive player in your lineup, and you appear to be in the driver's seat from a depth perspective when it comes to trades.

Bad News: While you can expect guys like Kamara, Amari, and maaaybe Will Fuller to keep it up, this was a ceiling performance almost across the board.

8. Marco (Post Draft: 7th)

Good News: Seattle finally let Russ cook and he took full advantage. If that continues, he's the steal of the draft and a potential QB1 overall.

Bad News: WFT won't play the Eagles every week. Oh, and that gaping hole at RB.

9. Kumpf (Post Draft: t8th)

Good News: As the most expensive player I've bid on in over 5 years, Zeke seems to be worth the money.

Bad News: Not a lot of upside on this roster despite a high floor, and Deebo's IR trip was not part of the plan.

10. Billy (Post Draft: 11th)

Good News: A win without Barkley going off (or gaining 10 yards) will always be great news for this roster.

Bad News: You'll need someone outside of your top two to pop if you want to contend, and I see no signs of that after one week.

11. Zacherman (Post Draft: 14th)

Good News: Pretty much everything. Lamar looked incredible connecting with Andrews, Davante got 17 targets and Lazard may be startable too, and Taylor lost his primary competition for touches.

Bad News: Despite all that, there are definite holes at RB2 and Flex, just spent more than half your FAAB money on Corey Davis and Myles Gaskin, and TD regression will hit soon.

12. Bennett (Post Draft: t5th)

Good News: Cam and Cook look both healthy and dominant, and Hines is a Snell-like dart throw payoff.

Bad News: Everything else.

13. Barnard (Post Draft: t5th)

Good News: Your ability to have the team you're playing completely shit the bed has carried over from 2019. And your roster management can only get better, right?

Bad News: The Mack injury hurts, especially given your love for JTT, and if the Chiefs transition some workload from Mahomes to Clyde, there goes your ceiling.

14. Alan (Post Draft: 13th)

Good News: Josh Allen is a top tier fantasy QB, Goedert seems to be taking over for Ertz, and Slayton will get plenty of garbage time opportunities on this Giants team.

Bad News: You only started one of those three players (including somehow two TEs other than Goedert), and Michael Thomas is hurt for what sounds like multiple weeks.

Matchup of the Week: Esco vs. Levine
Already a big division matchup! These two teams arguably overproduced in Week 1, so we'll see what goes from fluky to the new normal during Week 2. Esco has multiple players going up against the Raiders and Panthers, which should lead to a ton of points, and Kamara is likely to pick up a bunch of the short targets that used to go to Mike Thomas. The Dallas vs. Atlanta matchup will have huge implications here, and if Dak goes hard at Gallup and Ceedee, he could put up 30+ and give Levine a massive edge at QB. This one is extremely close, and without a clear X-factor among the position players, I'll take the 49ers D looking to bounce back with 20+ points (albeit without Sherman) against a Jets team that will be watching a lot of Clemson film this year.
Pick: Levine
MotW Record: 1-0

Gambling Corner

NFL Bets
Jaguars (+10) at Titans

Bucs (-9) vs. Panthers

Vikings (+3) at Colts

Cowboys (-4) vs. Falcons

Football Team (+7) at  Cardinals
Last Week: 6-2
2020 Record: 6-2 (+3.00 units)
Historical Win Percentage: 54.40% (+18.83 units)

COVID Draft Recap

Well that was weird. Our first entirely virtual draft brought a number of differences (much less banter, minimal WiFi issues, shorter run time, Gutman officially narrating the draft for ESPN), while other things stayed the same (Billy got two top RBs, Barnard left money on the table, Levine was silent). I can't say that I liked it, and hopefully we get things back to an in-person Draft Weekend for 2021.

Another thing that won't change this year is the Draft Recap using movie quotes. I had things all lined up for Wet Hot American Summer if we drafted in the Poconos, but it feels more sad that anything else to pretend we traveled. Especially because the alternative is to embrace that fact that we were all... Home Alone (and Home Alone 2). 

Let's do this shit.

AGD
Check-Out Woman: Are you here all by yourself?
Kevin McCallister: Ma'am, I'm eight years old. You think I would be here alone? I don't think so.

It was discomforting having only Reap in the draft room, and as a result the AGD roster does not appear as strong as it usually does. I'm blaming that on the lack of Belfer, even if he was technically on the phone, as well as Reap's wedding hangover. The floor here is definitely high, with Watson, Kelce, and Jacobs among the safest picks in the league. But to win a Chef's Hat, you guys need some upside, and I don't really see anyone who's likely to outproduce their projection.
Best Pick: D.J. Chark for $18
Worst Pick: Sterling Shepard for $11
Grade: C+

Levine:
Buzz McCallister: Check it out, Old Man Marley!
Rod McCallister: Who is he?
Buzz McCallister: You ever heard of the South Bend Shovel Slayer?
Rod McCallister: No.
Buzz McCallister: That's him. Back in '58 he murdered his whole family and everyone on the block. With a snow shovel.

Levine not only looks like a young Old Man Marley, but his lack of video presence and aggressive silence was over the top this year, enough that Alan already has his rival lined up for 2021. Levine's usual strategy of waiting for value may have burned him this year, as he was left with more money than usual for the dregs of the draft, and got forced into picks like David/Duke Johnson and wild overpays for Chase Edmonds. I like Dak at QB, but given the way the QB market went this year, even that seems like a steep price.
Best Pick: Zack Moss for $8
Worst Pick: Duke Johnson for $9
Grade: C

Alan
Peter McCallister: Honey, the pizza boy need $122 dollars plus tip.
Kate McCallister: For pizza?
Peter McCallister: Ten pizzas times twelve bucks!
Leslie McCallister: Frank, you've got money don't you?
Frank McCallister: Traveler's checks.
Kate McCallister: Forget it, Frank. We have cash.
Peter McCallister: You probably have the kind of traveler's checks that don't work in France.

Alan would definitely be the guy with the wrong type of currency in this situation. With the fake currency he did have in the draft, he spent nearly half of it on Michael Thomas and Cooper Kupp, which is not my favorite strategy. He was still able to put together a decent RB duo with Jones and Akers, but there is absolutely no depth behind it, which is scary this year. I like both Josh Allen and Stafford on their own, but spending $12 for the duo seems like it could have been better spent on RB depth. Three TEs that were more than $1 is also curious, but the man does have a Chef's Coat and Hat so maybe I'm the crazy one.
Best Pick: Cam Akers at $18
Worst Pick: Cooper Kupp at $29
Grade: C-

Kumpf
Buzz McCallister: Hey, Kev. It's pretty cool you didn't burn the place down.

That quote pretty much sums up how I feel about my team. Not really happy with anyone outside of Zeke, but it's relatively well rounded and should compete for the playoffs if one of my WRs pops outside of ARob. But I don't think I've ever been less excited for an NFL season and this roster only adds to that sentiment.
Best Pick: Ezekiel Elliott for $68
Worst Pick: Allen Robinson for $29
Grade: C+

Esco
Cedric the Bellman: You know, Herbert Hoover once stayed here on this floor.
Kevin McCallister: The vacuum guy?
Cedric the Bellman: No, the President.

Esco gets this quote for misreading the situation more than once, first with AP not getting any other bids, thereby wasting a roster spot and $1, and next with an accidental nomination of Greg Olsen over Justin Jefferson. The rest of his roster is pretty well rounded, though with players I'd personally have reservations about. If Kamara is healthy and happy, and if Brady can rediscover his deep ball to Evans, and if Cooper gets enough targets, and if RoJo can win the RB1 job in Tampa, and ... you see where this is going. I'm going to hedge and give him a middling grade, but there is a world where this team dominates. I just don't think it's this world.
Best Pick: Ronald Jones for $8
Worst Pick: Mike Evans for $41
Grade: C+

Bennett
Harry: What's so funny? What are you laughing at? You did it again didn't you? You left the water running. What's wrong with you? Why do you do that? I told you not to do it.
Marv: Harry, it's our calling card!
Harry: Calling card.
Marv: All the great ones leave their mark. We're the wet bandits!

This quote perfectly sums up the relationship in the BMO, and one of the downsides to the virtual draft was the lack of Mejia's presence. However, it may have benefited this team's roster overall. Outside of the token Eagles picks, this is a really solid team, with a number of options for best value pick and no real reaches outside of Mattison, which is at least understandable. I'm not sure I trust Bennett to manage this roster to the playoffs, but the potential is there.
Best Pick: Michael Gallup for $16
Worst Pick: Alexander Mattison for $9
Grade: B-

Nick
Kevin McCallister: Did anyone order me a plain cheese?
Buzz McCallister: Yeah, we did. But if you want any, somebody's gonna have to barf it all up, 'cause it's gone.

There are a surprising amount of similarities between Nick and Buzz, most notably their way of providing a biting response to an innocent albeit needy question. Nick's draft seemed to be targeting a few specific players, as the bulk of his money went to CEH, Godwin, AJB, Mostert, and Jarvis. I don't mind that core at all, and between Brady and Dimes he's got a nice QB rotation with some upside. Maybe we could all use a couple years off from this league, because Nick has come back refreshed and with a top lineup two years in a row.
Best Pick: James White for $8
Worst Pick: Jarvis Landry for $15
Grade: A-

Gutman
Harry: I hate throwing a job knowing that little creep is on the loose.
Marv: Yeah but what can he do? He's a kid. Kids are helpless.
Harry: Not this kid.
Marv: Yeah but this time he doesn't have a house full of dangerous goodies to get us with. He's in the park. He's alone. Kids are scared of the park.
Harry: Yeah. Grown men come into the park and never leave alive. Good luck little fella.

This quote was more appropriate for Weissbard last year, but a Gutman repeat during a pandemic year, while starting a job, parenting a toddler, and expecting another kid, would be a huge upset based on previous performance. HOWEVER, I really like Gutman's team. Henry is one of the safest picks in the league, and paying a combined $34 for the Ravens RB duo will look really nice if Ingram or Dobbins emerges as a clear starter. The three-headed monster of Julio/Rob Woods/Golladay is my favorite in the league, and he has enough options at QB and TE that I feel comfortable listing him as the favorite right now. Let's see how he messes it up.
Best Pick: Mark Ingram at $16
Worst Pick: JK Dobbins at $18 (swap these if Dobbins takes the job)
Grade: A

Billy

Cedrick the Bellman: Mr. McCallister's room service bill, sir. [he hands Buzz the bill]
Cedrick the Bellman: Merry Christmas, sir. [he hold out his hand for a tip, of which Buzz hands him gum]
Cedrick the Bellman: Nice family. Really.
Buzz McCallister: [Buzz looks at the long room service bill worth over $967.00] Merry Christmas, indeed. Oh, Daaaad...
Peter McCallister: KEVIN! YOU SPENT $967 ON ROOM SERVICE?

The most on brand picks of the draft went to Billy dropping 72.5% of his budget on two players, then not bidding for two hours. His season will obviously depend on the health of CMC and Saquon, but even if they put up 50 points per game, the rest of his team will still need to show up. I like his other two "big money" players in DJ Moore and Marvin, but the QB situation is a potential nightmare, as is the bottom of his roster. As always, this team has one of the highest ceilings and the definite lowest floor in the league.
Best Pick: Jared Cook for $4
Worst Pick: Ke'Shawn Vaughn for $1? Ravens for $2?
Grade: C

Zacherman
Linnie McCallister: Listen, Kevin, what are you so worried about? You know Mom's gonna pack your stuff anyway. You're what the French call "les incompetents".

This quote was going my least favorite draft no matter what, and it also describes a lot of Zacherman's strategy. Things started out decently with Lamar for what I consider a good price, but then shit got weird fast. Gronk for $5 seemed high at the time and looks worse in hindsight, and then grabbing Andrews for $26? JTT is a fine pick, but Singletary and Lindsay are both likely on the wrong side of a committee (though a Lindsay for Mack trade seems too obvious). And that's not to mention drafting multiple defenses for more than $1. Not really sure what happened here, but I don't like it.
Best Pick: Jonathan Taylor for $32
Worst Pick: Devin Singletary for $22
Grade: D

Marco
Kate McCallister: Have you ever gone on vacation and left your child home?
Gus Polinski: No, no. But I did leave one at a funeral parlor once. Yeah, it was awful. The wife was distraught and we left the little tyke there in the funeral parlor all day. All day. You know, we went back at night and apparently he had been alone all day with the corpse. He was okay though, after two, three weeks he came around and started talking again...
Kate McCallister: Maybe we shouldn't talk about this.
Gus Polinski: Well, you brought it up.

Not to say that Marco is going leave one of his kids at a funeral home, but if there was one person in the league to do that... and I also just wanted to get some John Candy in this post. Marco's team is wildly polarizing. ESPN has him last, and Fantasy Pros has him first. I have him in the middle. I love the Terry, Ekeler, and Diggs picks, while LeVeon and Fournette are two of the worst picks of the draft. He also loaded up on guys in the $7-$15 range, which may be a great plan for this year. 
Best Pick: Terry McLaurin for $15
Worst Pick: Leonard Fournette for $15
Grade: B-

Weissbard
Harry: Yep, one quick score. We get ourselves a couple of phony passports and we hightail it to some foreign country.
Marv: Arizona?

Weissbard gets this quote for a couple of reasons. He does have a couple of Cardinals, but mainly he went for some quick auction wins before the markets for each position (namely QB) were understood. I didn't mind Kyler for $14 when it happened, but in hindsight that's likely an overpay, and Rodgers is a wildly unnecessary backup, especially at more than $1. You'll be offering Rodgers up in a trade at the first sign of QB injury, but I can't see him bringing the same value his name would indicate. On the flip side, Antonio Gibson is in the running for best pick in the draft, as the RBs ranked around him all went for $15+. I don't love the way this team is built, but I think it's definitely in the running for the playoffs.
Best Pick: Antonio Gibson for $12
Worst Pick: Kyler Murray for $14
Grade: B

Barnard
Gangster 'Johnny': Keep the change, ya filthy animal!

Yes, he wasn't the only one with money left over this year (Levine, Marco, and Alan were in the same boat). But to have it happen multiple years in a row? That's literally the definition of insanity. Having said that, I think Barnard has a pretty solid team depth-wise, with Mahomes providing upside all by himself. His roster could have more talent if he used the last 5% of this budget, but this could easily be a playoff team. (It physically pains me to not only call Barnard a potential playoff team but also to not give him a "Fuller peeing the bed" quote. Fuck 2020)
Best Pick: Patrick Mahomes for $25
Worst Pick: Julian Edelman for $14
Grade: B-

Ajay
Marv: [in the basement, looking up at the hole he fell through] Wow! What a hole!

One of my favorite rosters gets one of my favorite lines. Ajay has most of the boxes checked for a contender. Tight End is covered by Kittle. Matty Ice isn't spectacular, but could easily lead the league in passing. I'm a big Kenyan Drake fan, and Carson plus the stable of other options leaves Ajay extremely deep at RB. BUT there is hole at WR. JuJu, Sutton, and Boyd are all heavily reliant on potentially unstable QB situations, as well as internal competition for targets. I expect that one of them will turn out fine, but the way this team is situated, you need all three to be weekly starters, and I don't see that happening week-in and week-out. Not the worst Achilles heel, but one to be aware of nonetheless.
Best Pick: Kenyan Drake for $44
Worst Pick: Courtland Sutton for $25
Grade: B+

Final Report Card:
Gutman: A
Nick: A-
Ajay: B+
Weissbard: B
Barnard: B-
Bennett: B-
Marco: B-
AGD: C+
Esco: C+
Kumpf: C+
Billy: C
Levine: C
Alan: C-
Zacherman: D

Matchup of the Week: Ajay vs. Nick
For Week 1, I usually pick the division matchup that includes the two teams I rated the highest. Welp, we have none of those thanks to League Lobster, but we do have a matchup between two of my top three rated teams, so here we go. One of the reasons I like both of these rosters is their strong starting lineups, and heading into Week 1, they both have pretty obvious decisions in terms of who to start. Both teams also have a pretty spread out week in terms of games, so this one won't be decided until MNF. The biggest overall strength here is Kittle going up against a woeful AZ tight end defense, with multiple SF receivers injured. Brady-to-Godwin could compete, but I have a feeling it's going to take some time before the guys who moved this offseason feel comfortable. I'll take Ajay in a close one.
Pick: Ajay
2020 MotW Record: 0-0

Rivalry Week 2020

 Two posts in one week? It's that time of year.

This one will be quick, as I'm sure you're all deep into draft research and our defending champ is realizing that DeAndre Hopkins is on the Cardinals and there's something called a Clyde Edwards-Helaire. 

Here are the Rivalry Week 2020 matchups, ranked in order of the average Rivalry Points from each team:

1. (tie) Esco vs. Weissbard - 14.0 points - The Halloween Prank Bowl III aka The Paternity Leave Bowl
2. (tie) Bennett vs. Levine - 14.0 points - The Florida Man Bowl II
3. (tie) AGD vs. Billy - 14.0 points - The Where's Marshall? Bowl
4. (tie) Ajay vs. Barnard - 14.0 points - The Madden Runner-Up Bowl
5. Gutman vs. Marco - 13.5 points - The Dad Bowl III aka The Father of Two Bowl
6. Alan vs. Zacherman - 12.5 points - The Chipotle Burrito Bowl
7. Nick vs. Kumpf - 9.5 points - The Tank Bowl

As usual, most of the Rivalries are between people who consider each other rivals, but we had some movement this year with the reintroduction of Nick and the AGD reunion, so I'm surprised to see so much alignment. And Nick, I guarantee that I'll be able to improve my playoff situation by tanking against you this year, but I'll be prohibited from doing so.

Here is the raw data:

Each row is that team's submission, with the rankings multiplied by 10 to give more weight to the higher rated matchups. Looking closer at the individual team numbers, here is the breakdown per team, normalized to the actual ranking they were given and removing the 1 point placeholder for ranking yourself:

1. Barnard - 10.23 (10.46 )
2. Weissbard - 9.38 (9.92)
3. Bennett - 9.31 (8.46)
4. Kumpf - 8.69 (8.38)
5. Gutman - 8.31 (7.46)
6. Alan - 8.23 (6.92)
7. Marco - 8.08 (8.62)
8. Billy - 8.00 (7.31 as BAM)
9. (tie) AGD - 7.62 (8.08 for Belfer, 6.38 for Reap)
10. (tie) Esco - 7.62 (8.23)
11. Levine - 7.54 (6.69)
12. Ajay - 7.38 (8.46)
13. Nick - 6.62 (N/A)
14. Zacherman - 5.00 (6.46)

Random takeaways:

• Barnard has been in "first" place all three years of this process, making him by far the most appealing rival.
• Weissbard has been in "second" place all three years, barely edging third all three times.
• The league gives more "credit" for AGD to Belfer, who's average Rivalry Points are closer to where AGD ended up in their first year back together.
• Ajay had the largest fall this year, from 4th to 12th, and I'm not really sure why.
• People are fucking terrified of Zacherman, who got the lowest score ever by a full 1.23 points.

Schedule will be updated on ESPN prior to the draft thanks to our friends at League Lobster, who still have Alan's Christmas Card in their chat history.